Extraterrestrial Student Alliance: Evacuation Days!

As you can tell by tonight's light show, the magnificent Space Arks have arrived. Which means it's time to START THE LOADING!! WAHOOOO!!!

First Class, Triumphant Empire Class, and Skull Crushing Neglect Class: Chauffeurs are at the ready for private disembarkation appointments.

Star Class, Humble Class, and Rough 'n Ready: Check your boarding passes for updated time and locations for your boarding assignments.

Suspended Animation passengers: First come, first served at the processing facilities near the fuel dump.

We've done a great job keeping this out of the terrestrial media, and tonight's landing has been shielded from non-extraterrestrial minds with a massive hypno-mindwave covering a fifty-mile radius. Boarding will be completed this Saturday, just in time to lift off and get a view of what's sure to be one of the most visited 4-D viewing locales for the rest of time.

See you in orbit!

Extraterrestrial Student Alliance: Evacuation Special!

As you know, the magnificent Space Arks will be arriving soon to safely transport all registered extraterrestrial students off planet, prior to the impact of the mega-weapon. Exclusive first-class reservations opened last week and are filling up fast. Tourist, Coach, and the Suspended Animation berths will open for booking starting next week.

But the Extraterrestrial Student Alliance has found an extra-special deal, and it's only available to Extraterrestrial Student Alliance members!

Imagine: Your own, comfortable, private box seats--complete with your own refrigerator and private commode--on the Earth-facing side of Space Ark B, which you and a small group of friends are sitting in DURING THE MEGA-WEAPON IMPACT EVENT!

That's right--it's a once in a millennium chance to see a Halberd-class mega-weapon in action as it pierces through the heart of a planet at almost the speed of light, all from the safety of your very own hard-radiation, UV, and debris shielded front-row seat.

Truly, this is something you'll want tell your grandchildren, clones, or Hive Elders about for eons to come - how YOU WERE THERE and saw it first-hand, up-close, and in the comfort and luxury that only a private box on Space Ark B could provide.

These special seats won't last long, so please contact me immediately if you're interested in these Seats of a Lifetime!

Extraterrestrial Student Alliance

I have some troubling news. I'm sure you've all read the rumors on the ansible feeds about the bullet. I've just received credible confirmation that it's true.

A one megametre planet-killing halberd class mega-weapon, made of nanostructured Antagonite, is moving at near-light speeds on an intercept course with Earth. 37 days ETA. It's a 600 mile long diamond bullet shaped like a knife on an irreversible course, and it's got Earth's name on it.

No extraterrestrial governing entity - trad-political, anarcho-swarm based, sublimated, or independent/rogue - has claimed responsibility for its creation. Obviously, there are hundreds of known civilization/entities capable of creating such a monstrosity, but admitting such an abomination and acting independently - no matter how sound the reasoning - would invite the ultimate punishment: Uber Isolation. Such an actor would cease to exist on the universal stage.

But an admission of guilt wouldn't change the facts. Planet Earth is doomed.

Luckily, with the school year ending, we'll all be able to receive full credit before transferring to off-world schools (where frankly I know many of us will feel more comfortable anyway). Some of the terrestrial students might even find places as refugees (though it's true 37 days isn't really near enough time to complete all the essential paperwork).

News of the bullet hasn't yet reached Earth-media, and really it's better if we don't create a fuss. So please keep this knowledge to ourselves, and enjoy the rest of the school year. I'll post information on the arrival of the great Space Arks as it becomes available.

Extraterrestrial Student Alliance

I'm starting a new club and it's for all students who are Extraterrestrial, descended from Extraterrestrials, or have relatives who are Extraterrestrial. All members of the Extraterrestrial community are encouraged to join!

The Extraterrestrial Student Alliance seeks to be supportive and inclusive of all students, but the Alliance is intended as a support and enhancement group specifically for students of Extraterrestrial origin. We face special challenges engaging with terrestrial culture, and it's hard for some of us to openly acknowledge our Extraterrestrial roots.

We are supportive of our fellow students who are mythic in origin, or the result of the application of terrestrial science and technology, and all of the other hybrid student cultures that make up the beautiful and intricate fabric of our student body.

Our first meeting is tomorrow night in the Cooper Room in the student center. See you there!