CecilPalmer

earliest post first | most recent post first

The Diary of Cecil Palmer
-
4/9/2015 12:00pm

Day 31... So... The island is giving birth to a litter of floating cats. How, you may ask, could a male cat give birth to floating kittens? Well, I don't know the science behind it, but I assume it has something to do with the fact that the lion is literally an, wildlife and all. Maybe it has something to do with the Uranium I found under his skin. Or maybe he's just a member of a rare species of Lions that also happen to be islands the float on the open ocean, I suppose I could never know for sure. The issue here, however, is the fact that the lion seems to be in an immense amount of pain. He is jerking around and scaring the wildlife, and it all seems to be heading in my direction. Now, I don't want to undersell the size of this Lion, it is literally an island, but he is covered in an incredibly diverse set of wildlife ranging from tropical birds to Rhinoceroses, all of which are stampeding in my direction. I might be in trouble. If anyone is reading this, please send band-aids.

Add a journal entry to The Diary of Cecil Palmer






The Diary of Cecil Palmer
-
4/8/2015 1:43pm

Day 30 or Day 29... Once again it seems time has begun shifting on the Lion Island, as now it seems to have sped up. Strangely enough, the Lion says it doesn't even notice it, and personally, neither do I. The only reason I know that time has sped up on the island is because of the news program that I can pick up with that Uranium Satellite receiver I built. Unfortunately, the radiation has started to impact the Lion in a negative way. The fur, which I initially thought were trees, have started falling out. He also coughs a lot now and the spot where the Receiver was has gone very, very pale. He seems very ill. I am concerned for him. So far on the island the only other animals I have found are giant insects, which I now realize are giant ticks. Luckily enough for me, the lion manages to keep them at bay. I also think that this has something to do with the fact that I have an incredibly dangerous radioactive substance at the end of a stick. Because of this, however, the lion has become my only friend on this island, despite him trying to eat me everyday. It is actually a pretty intelligent creature. It speaks eloquently and can even recite Shakespeare. It's actually pretty nice as well, so long as it isn't hungry. Anyway, if you are reading this I beg you to send me some beef jerky, just to keep the island on my good side.





The Diary of Cecil Palmer
-
4/8/2015 1:26pm

Day 29 for me, Day 30 for you average people... Me and the island had a long and hard talk last night, seeing as it wanted to eat me. We discussed the topics of a living situation, for a fair price, say, a piece of my flesh every 2 weeks. Unsurprisingly the island was on board. As shocking as it was for me to find out, it turns out the Islands that are literally floating Lions in the oceans don't get much food, seeing as boats tend to avoid the incredibly terrifying sight that is a giant, floating, Lion-island. Other strange discoveries that I have found on the island include the fact that physics seems to bend and warp as time goes by. Gravity doesn't react the way you would expect it to. Meaning if you drop a coconut growing from one of lions whiskers, onto the island below, it take about 10 minutes in total for the thing to hit the ground. Jumping takes even longer, despite me weighing significantly more than the coconut. Another strange thing, is the fact that A. My laptop didn't get destroyed when I fell into the water. B. I somehow have an internet connection even though I am in the middle of nowhere on a lions back. and C. I seem to have an infinite amount battery in this thing, it's actually quite astounding. Also the fact that time seems to speed up and slow down for me, but that's old news. The lion doesn't even know what internet is, so how can it have a connection? Also, my wounds seem to heal themselves in minutes. I made the first payment to the lion, stripping off a good portion of flesh from my inner thigh, it only hurt slightly. Within minutes I was completely healed. There's something strange about this island... despite it being a literal, man-eating lion.





4/7/2015 11:49am

Day 28 or Day 29 for you folks not on this Lion-Island... Once again the Island attacked me, trying to bite off parts of my liver and spleen. Somehow the island managed to deconstruct itself and get directly into my body, allowing it to attack my internal organs directly. First he went for my brain, but the blood-brain barrier I bought right before I left specifically stated that it protects from Lion-Island attacks, so I was safe with that. Next he went after my heart, but he had some trouble along the way, he stated later that it was because the ride was too bumpy for him to attack it with a proper strength. Next, of course, was the liver and spleen, which he did manage to get a piece of, however he immediately replaced that piece after he disliked the taste. Also, just as a note, the duration of this was about 30 seconds, during which the island, water, land, earth, solar system and the entire universe ceased to exist. Apparently the entire universe is connected to this lion in some way. We chatted about this for as little bit afterwards, as it was giving me quite the existential crisis. The Lion didn't say anything note worthy. Again, I beg you to send help. It really shouldn't be to difficult to find me, as I am floating on an island that is literally a Lion.

Connect a journal entry to this post






4/4/2015 5:07pm

Day 27.... Time seems to be slowing down for me. It's been a day here where, in the regular world, it seems to have been two days according to news program I was able to pick up with a make-shift satellite made from a few pieces of Aluminum foil and some Uranium I found lying around. I was able to fend off the Lion-Island for now, but I don't know how much longer I can stay here, the island is starting to get hungry again, I can feel the rumbling. I must leave now. Please send help, if you can.

Connect a journal entry to this post






4/2/2015 12:03pm

Day 26... The island is slowly eating me alive. The actual, literal island is trying to eat me. Turns out that it isn't actually an island, but a floating Lion in the middle of the ocean. If anyone is reading this... Send me a pack of beef jerky would 'ya?

Connect a journal entry to this post






4/1/2015 1:05pm

Day 25... The water is short on the island... I have been making due with the salt water but I am slowly dying. Send help.

Connect a journal entry to this post