Uhh this is my first day.... I don't know what i'm getting into. I could not find much online... Cross my fingers this is not a cult.

Only some of us are in cults, @Emma808, so there's no pressure!!!

We did just install a nice new heat lamp in the Community Snake Fellowship Hall underneath the gym. Mr. Wilson from the Industrial Pet Store was a little leary to come and install it, but I let him know we had no idea what had happened to his other helpers (Connor, Donald, Aly, and that sweet boy Zach), and we'd pay him in those ancient gold coins he likes so much so he couldn't resist. Mammals are predictable! We just love 'em.

Tomorrow we'll be starting a podcast that we hope to pipe over the all-school speaker system (the same one they play ODORBABY on) that will help convince more students to come join us. Nutrient solution and high-protein snacks for all! You should drop by!!!

I wouldn't worry about Snake Church, @Emma808. I trapped a few of them crawling around my trunk, and the fake fangs and contacts came right out.

But I couldn't speak for what might be in the deep way-down. My Timberland ways make me naturally averse to such subterranean settings, and I could not guarantee that something more sinister doesn't dwell down there.