God, I hate paperwork.

But somebody has to catalog this Soviet antique tech collection. Hover Magnets the size of pool tables, Zaporozhet neural imagers, a half dozen Formanta Polivoks, an Aelita 3-VCO, a Gorodki DNA replicator, and of course the Iron Torrent Semiconductor itself. @Gene Sequins left all this stuff - we found it in a secret underground lair beneath his dorm room.

We found Gene down in there too - a disembodied brain in a jar, which seems to have been electrocuted. Looks like MORMO wanted this operation shut down even more than we did. Once the PHG (Psychic Hominid Genome) went missing, he didn't have any more leverage to keep the so-called "Resequencing and Eradication Program" at bay. Except it turned out to be his own eradication.

Digging through his files, I wanted to know one thing. Why @Kayla May? Why @Silverfawn? Why risk everything for those two in particular? Naturally, Psy Corps set up surveillance on both of them as soon as they became involved, but neither seemed suspicious. @Kayla May's active with on-campus groups, and @Silverfawn moves very slowly. It's like watching grass grow, I tell 'ya.

But in Gene's files I found it. A series of love poems, pecked out in his GenBank patois, where both @Kayla May and @Silverfawn featured prominently. I suppose the love of a disembodied brain in a jar is the purest love of all, huh? But in the end, it just put him in the ground. Or wherever his remains end up after we analyze them.

Psy Corps will be interested in sourcing all this equipment - that is, hitting the black market swap meets in Eastern Europe finding out who exactly paid for all this junk. And in the process of the investigation we made some possibly good friends - @Beefur9 and the other kids in the New Machine. I believe we may be seeing more of each other in the future. They have "skillz."

Meanwhile, my drones in Antarctica have picked up an interesting lead, so I'm hopping on a transport plane this afternoon and heading south. Hopefully MORMO will drop another ball, and I'll be there in time to pick it up. At least we're keeping them on the run.

See, I told you all! Eventually it all blew over. Thanks to the only one who can actually write code besides @Gene Sequins, Kay and Silverfawn, as well as the rest of us, are safe. Of course, it would have been okay if we had just let it happen, but that's okay. Finally, we can wrap up our investigations and worries regarding the ASAS dance. As for you, Gene, we'll let PsyCorps deal with your misconduct.

I won't do it @Kayla May I won't let them.
whatever the @Gene Sequins do.. I won't transcribe. I swear it on my very first two leaves! I can still use the left over [daNcedaNcedaNce], maybe my roots can shake it off... shake it off.. shake, shake...

I sent my emergency help droplet gene [SOS] to the new machine the other day whilst I still had energy. I can only hope they got it. I translated it for them as best as I could under the circumstances:
DNA: TACGTACGGGATGGGACT
mRNA: /AUG / CAU/ GCC/ CUA/CCC/UGA
Amino Acid: /start/ Histidine/ Alanine/ Leucine/ Proline /stop/

And again.
His Ala Leu Pro
His Ala Leu Pro

His
Ala
Leu
Pro

Aaah, I've been force fed silver and nanowhatsits with tryptophan hydroxylase.. why does it, how does it... it tastes so good. The shudders... AaaaaTTGATTACCT TATTTGATCA TTACACATTG TACGCTTGTG TCAAAATATC ACATGTGCCT - No! my polymerase! - TATAAATGTG TACAACTATT AGTTATCCAT AAAAATTAAA AATTAAAAAA TCCGTAAAAT GGTTTAAGCA TTCAGCAGTG CTGATCTTTC TTAAATTATT TTTCTAATTT TGGAAAGAAA TTGATTACCT TATTTGATCA TTACACATTG TACGCTTGTG - Is this the end? - TCAAAATATC ACATGTGCCT TATAAATGTG TACAACTATT AGTTATCCAT AAAAATTAAA AATTAAAAAA TCCGTAAAAT GGTTTAAGCA TTCAGCAGTG CTGATCTTTC TTAAATTATT TTTCTAATTT TGGAAAGAAA......

.......GGT...TTAA////GCA TTCAGCAG///TG CTG......ATCTTT///C TTAAATTATT TTTC///TAATTT TGG////AAAGAAA

Something's...... something's terminating for me.. is that..? .. you're twitching.

_countdown: 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

/Reference
Eesti NSV Teaduste Akadeemia /Archives/mirrors/Ungern-Sternbergi/ gopher.quux.org 70
0Jargon 4.2.0 /Reference/Jargon 4.2.0 gopher.quux.org 70 +
1USSR Suppressed Technologies Garage Sale/Online Libraries gopher.quux.org 70 +
1RFCs: Internet Standards /Computers/Standards and Specs/RFC gopher.quux.org 70

Open to: rmc://IronTorrentSemiconductor
source 1..3630528
/strain="Sumbarine Nanoball"
/db_xref="taxon:MoogMother32 "

SCP_Secure_Systems_v.272727
WARNING: Magma Horseshoe 999 Authorization Required

two_step_auth_command.bui

Username: a222kstw
Password: ******************

ACCESS TO SYSTEM

> /usr/dark-gene-bank/999
> ls
> GXP_170357_Psychic_Hominid_Genome.gz
> get GXP_170357_Psychic_Hominid_Genome.gz
> DOWNLOADING GXP_170357_Psychic_Hominid_Genome.gz
> DOWNLOAD COMPLETE
> rm *.*
> ls
>
> exit

@Gene Sequins PWND!

In case you all are wondering, no, I am no longer freaking out about the re-sequencing. Why? I've figured it out.
Something is wrong with the gene pool. And MORMO has decided eliminate the flaws. Two students at PsyHigh, @Kayla May and @Silverfawn, have "perfect genes," or genes that can be used to re-sequence the universe. So if my calculations are correct, for most of us it will only hurt for one tiny second, and then the universe will be back to normal again. Unfortunately, for Kay and Silverfawn it might take a bit longer. But who knows? It really depends on what dimension they get cast into.
So stop losing your cool. It's just science.

Dear Somebody,
*background noise of an infomercial* I've never watched television before; it's enthralling. Claude and I spent the whole day watching our new TV and eating sprinkles. Well, I was eating sprinkles. He was eating codfish. But still. We don't have cable or dish or Webflix, but I did borrow an old soviet antennae I found in the cafeteria where the dance was held, and if I balance the right number of socks on it, I can get most channels. I think it might possibly have belonged to @Gene Sequins, but I can't remember for sure. Unfortunately, er, luckily, whenever @Matching by Mattie is 25.333333% here or more, she insists on watching "Project Runaway" which is a show where orphans are taken off the street and given the newest clothes of high fashion and a bowl of soup. The fashionista who has the best dressed orphan wins the show. Or at least, I think that's what the show is about.
*sound of channel changing* *twittering birds are heard*
*sigh* Claude just changed it to "House Birds of New England". This show is really noisy and unpleasant; I think I prefer "Catman the Animated Series". Unfortunately I can only watch that show at dawn with four green socks and a grapefruit balanced on the antennae. Oh well.

In other news I- *twittering of birds is suddenly replaced by high pitched static* *robotic voice is heard speaking* Transmission Incoming: Please Enter Identification, Level Mag--
*Nobody gets up and takes off left sock* *sock is balanced on antennae* *static is heard again* *chattering of birds resumes*

The TV keeps doing that for some reason. I think it keeps tuning into radio station of the Ancient Mayan Prayer Group or something. This morning I think it said something about "request granted" and "proceed". I think. Maybe I should light my black candles tonight. Just in case.

Farewell for now,
Nobody

LOCUS GXP_170357 743 bp DNA
Report to: MORMO HQ Earth B-138
Agent: Gene Sequins
Security Clearance: Magma Horseshoe 999

REGARDING denial of extraction request for:
/organism="@Kayla May"
/../\../m.cagctcgtca>ref9*
/organism="@Silverfawn"
/../\../m.aaaaaacata>ref7*

DEFINITION loc=GXL_141619|sym=TPH2|geneid=121278|acc=GXP_170357|
taxid=9606|spec=Homo/Psycho Sapiens|chr=12|ctg=NC_000012|str=(+)|
start=70618393|end=70619135|len=743|tss=501,632|
homgroup=4612|promset=1|descr=tryptophan hydroxylase 2|
comm=GXT_2756574/AK094614/632/gold;
GXT_2799672/NM_173353/501/bronze

ACCESSION GXP_170357 Psychic Hominid Genome withheld until MORMO grants extraction request. Resequencing/eradication event at locus/coordinate Psychic High School B-138 on standby until MORMO grants extraction request.

BASE COUNT 216 a 180 c 147 g 200 t

ORIGIN SAMPLE PSYCHIC HOMINID GENOME
1 TTGATTACCT TATTTGATCA TTACACATTG TACGCTTGTG TCAAAATATC ACATGTGCCT
61 TATAAATGTG TACAACTATT AGTTATCCAT AAAAATTAAA AATTAAAAAA TCCGTAAAAT
121 GGTTTAAGCA TTCAGCAGTG CTGATCTTTC TTAAATTATT TTTCTAATTT TGGAAAGAAA

REMAINDER OF PSYCHIC HOMIND GENOME withheld in secure encryption vessel until extraction request fulfilled

Would you like for me to talk to the nurses for you, @Sarah Tonin? They'll TOTALLY understand. They're cool like that.

OMG @Pearline, it keeps happening!!!

I was with Kyle again last night, and I was trying to tell him about my shapeshifting symptoms but I was too shy. It's also hard because my symptoms only seem to manifest when I'm around him. And the closer I get to him, the more my symptoms increase. It's like, uncontrollable.

So, last night, when I was trying to tell him how I felt, it's like my tongue got extra big in my mouth and I couldn't talk... and I could feel the shapeshifting starting to happen, so I started to take off my shirt. I just couldn't help it! It's like the shapeshifting possesses me when I'm around him.

But, it totally freaked Kyle out! He said it was "happening too fast" by which I assume he means the shapeshifting transformation process, and he got up all flustered and left.

What am I going to do @Pearline??? Is there some antidote? I'm still too embarrassed to go to the infirmary to see the nurse.

Thanks to everyone who participated in the Annual Science and Shapeshifters Dance last weekend. Spirits were certainly running high after our tremendous win over Mystic High at the Mayan Mind Wrestling match!

The school would also like to thank @Pearline for helping to bring the demon Stanley Floyd to justice. The school is unable to discuss its long-term relationship with the demon Stanley Floyd as it is our policy not to discuss ongoing investigations.

And how about those "beats?" We were blessed to have the artistic retro-Soviet genetic disco patterns provided by @Gene Sequins, taking a break from the festival circuit in Eastern Europe. We've been unable to locate Gene following the dance, so if anyone sees him, please let him know that his check is waiting for him in the administration building.

Sincerely,

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99