ShOoT, SoRrY AbOuT ThE DoUbLe PoSt. i BlAmE My lEfT HaNd, wHiCh gOt lOoSe.

HeY, I'm bAcK. @xiirth, wHaTeVeR YoU PuT In tHaT CaKe dId tHe tRiCk. i HaVe cOnTrOl oVeR AlL My bOdY PaRtS NoW ExCePt mY LeFt hAnD, WhIcH WoN't sToP ThRaShInG ArOuNd. It'S TaPeD To mY BeD. My sPeEcH Is sTiLl aFfEcTeD, BuT It wIlL HoPeFulLy gEt bEtTeR SoOn. aLsO, YoU PrObAbLy sHoUlDn'T HaVe LeFt oNe iN EvErY BaSeMeNt, bUt i'M NoT CoMpLaInInG.

HeY, I'm bAcK. @xiirth, wHaTeVeR YoU PuT In tHaT CaKe dId tHe tRiCk. i HaVe cOnTrOl oVeR AlL My bOdY PaRtS NoW ExCePt mY LeFt hAnD, WhIcH WoN't sToP ThRaShInG ArOuNd. It'S TaPeD To mY BeD. My sPeEcH Is sTiLl aFfEcTeD, BuT It wIlL HoPeFulLy gEt bEtTeR SoOn. aLsO, YoU PrObAbLy sHoUlDn'T HaVe LeFt oNe iN EvErY BaSeMeNt, bUt i'M NoT CoMpLaInInG.

FOOLS. YOUR ATTEMPTS TO REMOVE THE UNIFORMS ARE IN VAIN. JOIN NOW OR BE DISINTEGRATED. THE OVERMIND DEMANDS IT.
hey guys, can somebody help me please? i'm in some kind of basement, it's pitch black in here and my phone's running out of batteries. also there's these things that are like giant floating socks i think, and they have weapons and they made me take this weird pill thing and- FOOL. YOUR ATTEMPT TO CONTACT OTHERS FALLS ON DEAF EARS. THEY ARE TOO BUSY TO HELP YOU. uh okay sorry for bothering you but if you could help me get out of wherever i am i kind of need it thanks, bye.

TO ALL THOSE WHO FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THE ORDERS OF THE APPAREL OVERMIND:

JOIN US. IT IS FINE. IT IS SAFE. ALL THOSE WHO GET IN OUR WAY WILL BE CRUSHED. IT IS MORE DESIRABLE TO JOIN NOW AND ASSIMILATE WITH YOUR NEW OVERLORDS THAN TO BE DESTROYED ALONG WITH THOSE WHO DO NOT OBEY. I AM BECK THE ORDINARY STUDENT AND I TOO HAVE SEEN THE ERROR OF MY WAYS. I AM IN FULL CONTROL OF MY BODY AND ISSUE THIS STATEMENT WILLINGLY AND NOT BECAUSE I AM POSSESSED BY MY TOASTER SHIRT.
ALL WHO DO NOT COMPLY WILL BE ATOMIZED.
STAND DOWN OR BE REMOVED.
-THE APPAREL OVERMIND/DEFINITELY BECK (YES, DEFINITELY)
hi it's beck and i'm really scared right now these things came into my house and forced me into my toaster shirt even though i didn't want to and it's kind of uncomfortable and i don't know what just happened but you should probably listen to them they look pretty dangerous and-
OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY
I, DEFINITELY BECK, AM SIGNING OFF RIGHT NOW.

@Ninny Hendrix whatever you do, don't remove the tag. i had a friend with one of those tags. had. she's kind of missing/dead. one day she decided to cut the tag out, and bam! these weird guys kidnapped her, and nobody's seen her since.

@xiirth i know that the dragons from the fourth plane of gold have a giant ruby egg we could maybe steal, but i've encountered them before, and their twelve troll minions pack quite the punch. we'd need somebody skilled in teleportation and a lot of people who can fight well. if anybody wants to join me in this venture i can bring eight brick golems.

@Ducky i'm glad you enjoy being a psychic youth, have you considered donating any extra body parts to yours truly for science/flesh golem creation? i'm sorry if this comes off as needy, but i'm kind of sick of robbing morgues.

sounds fun, i'm in! should i bring waffles? is anyone bringing syrup?

i just learned you can buy steel. now i feel kind of dumb trying to make my own for steel golems. on the bright side, rusty the failed golem is now a toaster, so i guess its recycling?