Dear Journal,
During my How-To-Speak-Cow Honors class, my bilingual pursuits were interrupted by a large brown slug that slithered across my desk. This was peculiar, as everyone knows that slugs are just a hoax created by the government to distract us from our own existential meaninglessness. “Not today, government!” I cried, as I flicked the imposter off of my desk (made purely from hawk bone marrow). My peers clapped, and I was able to continue my academic journey. I am so lucky to attend PsyHigh, as I am now well versed in cow language. Moo?