I ran away from the Insect Circus, which is a lot like a Trained Thoughts show but with more tiny whips. Maybe you could start there, @Octopus!

Speaking of, does anyone know where I could get some de-miniaturization soap? Even though I am a cricket I'm really not supposed to be this small. Seriously. If I could just get my little forelegs on some of that soap I'd be right as rain. Hook me up, somebody!

I have a full range of Psychic Cosmetics Products that I inherited from @Matching by Mattie, @JJ Cricket. A whole suitcase of them! Only some of them are expired. I've got the de-miniaturization soap you're after, plus Lady O' Spain Self-Blinding Eye Shadow with Magic Puncture Pencil, a peanuts enlarger, and an intersting scent that @Octopus might find useful. All slash priced! So much simpler than hours spent actually training your thoughts to behave. Find me under the streetlight in front of the library after 9pm. I'll make you a deal you can't refuse!

Well I got me some of that de-miniaturization soap last night and lathered up in a puddle right out in front of the library under the streetlight and boy oh boy do I feel bigger already! I can feel my antennae growing and my palpi perking and my cerci surging! Pretty soon I just know I'm going to outgrow this little matchbox I use as a bed and need to move up to a... gee, I don't know! A shoebox maybe? A cricket can dream! :) Thanks @Marthew17!

Well bust my buttons, that de-miniaturization soap is certainly doing the trick. Cause I'm busting right out of my little blue suit! The little vest and jacket I had just split right off, and my pants and shoes are all torn up. And my little top hat sure won't fit any more.

I'm starting to fill out just like a big boy cricket. I'm walking on all six legs, and my cerci are getting as long as my feelers, and my leg spikes are getting long too. I was lathering up in the puddle in front of the library last night and surprised a raccoon and boy oh boy you should have seen him run. I reckon I'm about the size of a big fat housecat now.

Speaking of, it's about time for me to go out an lather up some more! Gee I hope I don't run out of this soap anytime soon, because I just want to grow and grow and grow! Thanks again @Marthew17!

BOY OH BOY that de-miniaturization soap is workin' its magic! I'm down to just a little sliver but it's still enough to work up a rich lather in that puddle outside the library. My palps are huge, and my long, segmented antennae are enormous and maybe that's what scared away that group of students this morning. I hopped after them yelling "Hey everybody! It's me!!!" but misjudged my landing and injured a few I'm afraid. Because now I'm the size of a small car. But I feel GREAT!

I am getting low on that soap though. I hopped though the commons and into the cafeteria building looking for @Marthew17 and couldn't find him anywhere, but it was hard to recognize people in all the chaos and the broken glass. But I NEED more of that SOAP! Sure, I'm big, but I could be so much bigger! @Marthew17 I'm coming for you!!!!!!!!

baaaaa baaaaaa baaaaaaaaaugh my tummies feel bad! i've been eating grass around the science building and let me tell you it is not treating my four stomachs right at all. ugh! i have to go to the little lamb's room now.

I realized my suitcase full of Psychic Cosmetics Products were all expired and probably not safe, so I dumped them in the yard behind the science building. Then the rains would came and washed them away so now that's all taken care of.

I'm spending time in the labs working on a number of new products, and as soon as I have something for @JJ Cricket I'll be sure and let him know. But in the mean time, if you see a truck-sized cricket hopping your way, don't be scared! Just get out of the way.

Science lab? SCIENCE LAB??!!!!

Clear the way everybody this cricket is living LARGE and gonna get LARGER!!!!

I used up that final sliver of de-miniaturization soap and that was a sad morning let me tell you. So I drank up all the water in the puddle I've been washing in and there must have been a lot of leftovers in it because now I am TRUCK SIZED!! Vroom Vroom!

I tried sleeping in @Janitor Pete's garage for his trucks but he chased me out with a broom. Since then I've been using the service roads to get through the woods and sleep in a big clearing, where I've made a charming nest in the grass. A BIG nest.

But what if it wears off? What if I shrink back down to my previous, unassuming, and entirely unimpressive size? WHAT THEN? Well that's not gonna happen because it's time for me to hippity hop thump to the science lab and meet up with that @Marthew17 and I just know he'll fix me up yes sir you bet he will!

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

Have you read your horoscope today, @JJ Cricket? Because a visit to the Science Lab might not solve all your problems. Believe me, I know.

I did not know about the animals and the strange effects they are having from the science building! But I did not think it was good for the animals because it might not be natural. And if it is in the food chain of the animals isn't it inside us too even if we don't eat the animals? Or rabbit eggs?

This sounded like a serious problem so I told it to Larry Moon, Skunk Detective. I visit him in his cozy cozy nest sometimes to make sure that skunk is taking care of himself. Because he is a live alone skunk. If he has a cold or a flu then who is going to take care of him? He tells me he can take care of himself. And that he already knew about the strange effects from the science building. The Moles were having their own strange problems and they asked him to "look into it" and he found out about it. Would you like to read it here it is:

---------------------------------

From the desk of:
Larry Moon
Skunk Detective

Case #973004
Big Hairy Moles

There's nothing Moles like better to eat than worms. So when it gets rainy and the ground starts to warm up they like to get up under the grasses in the lawns and eat and eat and eat. Most Moles are plump by design, so they rarely comment on each other's weight.

But now they had a public safety problem. Moles were blowing up so big they were getting stuck in the tunnels. And attempts to dig around them were weakening structure of the entire tunnel system.

"Oh yeah, we'll have a sinkhole here for sure if we dig any more. We can't risk it, Mr. Moon."

It was clear it must have been something they ate. Worms. And this particular yard was outside the science building. After the mutation outbreak and subsequent school takeover back in the 1990's, the school was one of the first of its size to move to all organic lawn care products. Still, I had a little check-in with my colleague @Janitor Pete.

"No, no change in the mix, Larry. I've got it all here in the shed if you want to take a look."

Which meant whatever was getting into those worms was unofficial. And probably illegal.

It was going to mean some late night stakeouts. It was time to boil some eggs.