HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HOPE YOU'VE EXCUSED OUR SUMMER MISHAPS, BECAUSE GROTTO G.S.M. INC. IS BRINGING YOU A BRAND NEW EXPERIENCE FOR THE UPCOMING SCHOOL YEAR!
WHILE IN THE PAST WE HAVE SPONSORED QUALITY CLASSES, WE HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE A NEW APPROACH TO EMPOWERING AND HELPING THE STUDENT BODY!

WE ARE LAUNCHING GROTTO G.S.M. SPONSORED STUDENT SAFETY AND EMPOWERMENT AND PATROL CLUB, OR GGSMSSSAEAPC FOR SHORT!!!!!!!!!!

NOW WE CAN'T TELL YOU EVERYTHING JUST YET!! BUT....
YOU CAN START AN APPLICATION NOW!
TO BE A PART OF THE GGSMSSASEAPC YOU NEED TO TURN IN AN APPLICATION TO THE UNDISCLOSED GROTTO SECURITY OFFICERS THEN HAVE AN INTERVIEW WITH PROFESSOR ACHAVA BRANIGAN.
(PROF. BRANIGAN WILL BE A SUB FOR MANY OF YOUR CLASSES THIS YEAR, AS WELL AS THE STUDENT LEADER FOR THE GGSMSSEACP.)

THE GSGMSESCPA WILL DOING DORM CHECKS, HELP STUDENTS WITH ISSUES IN THEIR DORM, MONITOR HALLS, AND MANY OTHER FUN ACTIVITIES. BEING A PART OF THE GASOMGLMAO WILL GO TOWARDS A GALAXATON CREDIT OR A INTERNSHIP CERTIFICATION.

BEING IN THE GHJHJHFSJHLKCPA WILL NOT ONLY GIVE YOU WORK EXPERIENCE, BUT A NEW COMMUNITY AND NEW SKILLS.

APPLICATIONS WILL BE RELEASED SHORTLY.

HELLO EVERYONE!!

HERE IS THE APPLICATION!
THEY ARE DUE SEPTEMBER 15TH....THIS YEAR...UH WHATEVER YEAR YOU LIVE IN IS FINE, JUST TURN THEM IN TO THE UNDISCLOSED GROTTO SECURITY OFFICERS AND HERE ON THE JOURNAL!

GGSMSSSAEAPC APPLICATION:

QUESTION ONE: IF YOU HAVE ONE, WHAT IS YOUR NAME, GRADE, AND/OR AGE?

QUESTION TWO: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SAFETY AND EMPOWERMENT?

QUESTION THREE: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT STUDENTS?

QUESTION FOUR: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT GROTTO GHOST MANAGEMENT INCORPORATED?

QUESTION FIVE: OH STAWWPP IT , YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO SWEET!! WHAT DO YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT GROTTO GHOST MANAGEMENT INCORPORATED?

QUESTION SIX: AWW YOU ARE TOO NICE! OMGGGG!! ARE YOU SURE??

QUESTION SEVEN: WHAT EXPERIENCE DO YOU HAVE IN LEADERSHIP, SECURITY, OBEYING ORDERS, OR IN COMPANY SPONSORED STUDENT SAFETY AND EMPOWERMENT AND PATROL CLUBS?

QUESTION EIGHT: WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE IN THE GGSMSSSAEAPC?

QUESTION NINE: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT PASTEL COLORS?

QUESTION TEN: HAVE YOU EVER:
A) GIVEN US UP
B) LET US DOWN
C) RAN AROUND AND DESERTED US
C) MADE US CRY
D) SAID GOODBYE TO US
E) TOLD A LIE AND HURT US
F) SAID YOU WERE NEVER GONNA DO THE ABOVE


THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

To whom it may concern,

What if I don't have a printer how do I give you my application for GGSMSSSAEAPC?

Who has printers these days anyway? And who has privacy? And what does GROTTO G.S.M. INC. do with my privacy?

Privately,

A private student.

HELLO EVERYONE!
TODAY WE ARE ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GGSMSSSAEAPC FROM ONE OF YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS, @Anita Hairtie ! CHECK OUT ANITA'S JOURNAL TO SEE HER QUESTIONS!!

@Anita Hairtie ,WE ARE EXCITED ABOUT YOUR INTEREST IN THE GGSMSSSAEAPC AND WOULD LOVE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS.

FIRST OF ALL, WE WOULD NEVER ENCOURAGE USE OF PRINTERS. AS YOU MOST LIKELY KNOW, USE OF PRINTERS WAS CLASSIFIED AS A WAR CRIME BY 1949 GENEVA CONVENTION DUE TO WIDESPREAD CHAOS AND TERROR PRINTERS CREATED IN THE 1949 INK BATTLES. WE WOULD NEVER ENDORSE THESE HORRIFYING DEVICES AND WE HOPE NO PSYCHIC HIGH STUDENT EVEN DABBLES IN THE DARK ART THAT IS PRINTERS.

YOU CAN GET A PAPER COPY OF THE APPLICATION FROM THE GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SECURITY OFFICES, BUT IF YOU CAN'T FIND THEM DUE TO THEIR UNDISCLOSED NATURE, YOU CAN JUST TURN A DIGITAL COPY IN ON YOUR JOURNAL.

NOW, ANITA, WE UNDERSTAND YOU ARE A PRIVATE STUDENT, WHO LIKES DOING THINGS PRIVATELY, BUT WE ASSURE YOU WE ARE COMPLETELY BENEVOLENT AND WE TREASURE YOUR PRIVACY.
SURE, MAYBE IN THE PAST WE HAVE BEEN A LITTLE SKETCHY, BUT WE ASSURE YOU,
YOUR PRIVACY IS COMPLETELY SAFE WHEN IT IS IN OUR POSSESSION.

YOU ARE COMPLETELY SAFE WHEN YOUR PRIVACY IS IN OUR POSSESSION.

YOU ARE COMPLETELY SAFE WHEN YOU'RE IN OUR POSSESSION.

WHAT IS PRIVACY? WHY HAVE IT WHEN YOU COULD HAVE SAFETY?

"WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU WITH MY PRIVACY?" YOU ASK
AND WE ASK IN REPLY, "WHY SHOULD WE TRUST YOU THAT YOUR PRIVACY IS WORTH KEEPING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?"

WHAT IS SAFETY? THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

WHAT IS PRIVACY? SOME MADE UP HIPPY-DIPPY CONCEPT MADE UP TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY ARE SAFE IN THEIR BUBBLES.

WELL GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE NOT SAFE IN YOUR BUBBLE. EVERYONE CAN SEE INTO YOUR BUBBLE AND THINKS YOUR JUST GROSS FOR SLEEPING IN THE NUDE AND NOT WASHING YOUR HANDS AFTER THE BATHROOM AND CRAVING FLESH PUPPETS OF YOUR EXS OUT OF RAW STEAKS AND THE
WORST OFFENSE... PUTTING TAPE OVER YOUR WEBCAM.

SO? WHAT DO YOU WANT? TO LET EVERYONE LOOK AT YOU? TO LET YOURSELF BE EXPOSED AND VULNERABLE, JUST WAITING FOR A SUDDEN AND INEVITABLE DEATH???
OR DO YOU WANT TO TRUST THE LOVING, CARING, SAFETY-GIVING GROTTO G.S.M INC.? IT'S YOUR DECISION, REALLY.

ANYWAYS!! WE HOPE THAT CLEAR UP YOUR QUESTIONS ANITA! WE ARE SO EXCITED FOR THE GGSMSSSAEAPC AND REMEMBER APPLICATIONS ARE DUE ON THE 15th (IN ELEVEN DAYS!!!)!!!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

To whom it may concern,

I have been thinking about GGSMSSSAEAPC’s mission to provide safety (if not privacy) to the student body and I am concerned about the safety (if not privacy) of Psyhigh students without bodies. I have obtained a list (through a private source) of Psyhigh students without bodies, like @Elowen Rosenthal, who do not feel safety on campus because they have left their bodies behind and instead hide in the girls’ bathroom. Does the GGSMSSSAEAPC plan to provide safety (if not privacy) to these disembodied students?

Privately,

An embodied private student

I'm a transfer from the Home for Disembodied Students and am naturally interested in leadership and safety. Disembodied students might feel safe, or unsafe like @Elowen Rosenthal and hide in the bathroom all day. But we all signed non-disclosure agreements about privacy at the HDS and we can’t talk about it, or know about it, because our privacy went away with our bodies, and now we drift through your lives unobserved, and watch everything you do, even when you think you are having your privacy, which is what @Elowen Rosenthal is looking for in the bathroom.

I can't disclose what I think about GROTTO GHOST MANAGEMENT INCORPORATED or about pastel colors and poor fashion choices involving coopted commodified symbols of rebellion like rainbow colored mohawks and leather pants and fishnet tops. I think that I would be a very good fit and hope you enjoy my application.

HELLO EVERYONE!

JUST AS A FRIENDLY REMINDER, APPLICATIONS FOR THE GGSMSSSAEAPC ARE DUE TOMORROW! WE ARE INCREDIBLY EXCITED FOR THIS NEW AND FANTASTIC TEAM!! ONCE ALL APPLICATIONS ARE IN, WE WILL ANNOUNCE WHO WILL BE MOVING FORWARD TO THE INTERVIEWS!!
AND NOW A MESSAGE FROM PROFESSOR BRANIGAN:

Hello Students,
While I never imagined my PhD to be used to supervisor a "STUDENT SAFETY AND EMPOWERMENT AND PATROL CLUB", and even though when I received this new position I gave out deep sigh filling every corner of my being and then washing away with numbness and decay, I am incredibly excited to lead all of you into a year of "student safety" and "empowerment".
I am not only your "student safety" and "empowerment" coach, but I also will be teaching you about patrol and security. We will meet everyday, as your fifth period and discuss assignments and relevant topics.
While I most definitely will miss teaching, this club is... this club is just... it is just as fulfilling.... as teaching...
Yours,
Prof. Achava Branigan

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE ARE EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE GROTTO G.S.M. SPONSORED STUDENT SAFETY AND EMPOWERMENT AND PATROL CLUB IS NOW UP AND RUNNING!
BELOW IS A LIST OF CLUB LEADERS AND OTHER IMPORTANT INFORMATION!
BEFORE THE LIST, WE WOULD JUST LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR MAKING THIS POSSIBLE. AT THE END OF THE DAY, WE ARE ALL HERE TOGETHER FOR STUDENTS, FOR SAFETY, FOR EMPOWERMENT AND FOR PATROL!

STUDENT SUPERVISOR- PROFESSOR ACHAVA BRANIGAN
SAFETY LEADER- @Anita Hairtie
EMPOWERMENT LEADER- @Medusa Oblongata
PATROL LEADER- @EmilyDH
STUDENT SATISFACTION LEADER- @Big Jim
SECRETARY- @Level 8 Bouncy House

PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT POSITIONS WILL BE VOTED FOR IN MONDAY'S CLUB MEETING IN THE FLOATING AMPHITHEATER. SO IF YOU WANT TO RUN, MAKE SURE WRITE YOUR SPEECHES AND PRAY TO YOUR GODS, BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOME TOUGH COMPETITION!

SECTION LEADERS (SAFETY, EMPOWERMENT, PATROL) MUST REMEMBER TO DISTRIBUTE ASSIGNMENTS GIVEN BY PROF. BRANIGAN TO THEIR SECTIONS' CLUB MEMBERS BY THIS SATURDAY.

IF YOU ARE STILL INTERESTED IN BECOMING A PART OF THE CLUB, CONTACT STUDENT SUPERVISOR ACHAVA BRANIGAN FOR CLUB OPPORTUNITIES.

AND NOW A MESSAGE FROM OUR VERY OWN, PROFESSOR ACHAVA BRANIGAN:

Hello Students
I am... I am simply ecstatic that our club is up and running. I can't wait to discover how we can promote "safety", "empowerment", and "patrol".
Anita, you and your team are in charge of setting up and maintaining metal detectors in front of the library and cafeterias due to the well know food and book rioting that has been happening int hose locations.
Medusa, your team need to distribute "A Good Student Listens" reading materials, as well as hang up posters and announcements. You can pick up the materials at the Headmasters office.
Emily, I am sorry, love. I wish you luck.
-Prof. Achava Branigan
GGSMSSSAEAPC Student Supervisor


THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

STUDENT SAFETY PANCAKE BREAKFAST

As Student Satisfaction Leader for the GGSMSSSAEAPC, I know that nothing says "safety" quite like "pancakes!"

So join us tomorrow at 10am in the commons (weather permitting!) for the GGSMSSSAEAPC Student Safety Pancake Breakfast! It will be a safe space to enjoy pancakes and syrup, and become empowered by a feeling of safety. GGSMSSSAEAPC Patrols will be in the area to ensure safety, and all cutlery will be made of soft, biodegradable materials. Invite a friend!

See you tomorrow, September 22nd, at 10am in the commons! And STAY SAFE.

Sincerely,

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

DANGER: STUDENT SAFETY PANCAKE BREAKFAST

Following this morning's atrocities at the GGSMSSSAEAPC Student Safety Pancake Breakfast, all students are asked to stay behind the yellow caution tape surrounding the commons. The sentience of the biodegradable cutlery was an unforeseen consequence of our safety precautions, and now the gluten-free range pancakes have gone feral.

Psychic Janitorial Staff (the "cleaners'') are currently on-site, and we need everyone to stay out of the way of the flamethrowers while they finish up.

Sincerely,

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99