The Underage Drivers' Club went cruising after the Halloween dance and found @Nix Ixtb lurking in his {untranslatable} Oldsmobile Antares behind the gym. He was in a funk, feeling bad about eating the Giant Intelligent Slugs on the dance floor.

"Is circle of life!" he kept saying. "Earth not understand. *sob*"

I may not understand the finer points of interplanetary etiquette, but I do know there's one thing that can always cheer me up when I'm down.

"Wanna go for a drive?" I asked.

We all left together in a squeal of tires and a cloud of burning rubber.

Psyhigh's Underage Driver's club doesn't worry about cops.

We're driving on a whole other frequency.

It's the OTHER cops we worry about.

There was a kid who kept causing car crashes at the same place on the same street. He wasn't even in a car, man. He was only using his mind.

Every so often -- whenever he felt like it -- he'd look at a car driving past his house and flick his hand or jut his chin and the car would veer off and smash into one of the cars parked on the side of the road. Or sometimes flip right over.

That kind of thing just puts unnecessary pressure on the rest of us.

I went to Burning Car this summer. It's in a different location every year, so you have to have connections to know about it. That's how they keep it from going mainstream.

Anyway I'm positive I saw @Haunted Ed there -- Psyhigh's own Haunted Driver's Ed teacher. He was spinning and conjuring up bigger pumpkin heads than anybody else.

Don't try asking him about it though because he swears he wasn't there.

The best place to achieve FTL speed is out by the airport. There's a long stretch between the landing strips and the river that provides enough distance to hit the hyper-spice event horizon.

"BLLLBLBBBLRRRRR!" @Nix Ixtb's lips shudder uncontrollably as he/they/it hangs their head out the window.

BWEEEP! Woooooooooooooo!

Damn, it's the cops. And no not the usual cops. The OTHER cops.

"So, what do you think about these crashes?" asked the woman who was obviously a detective. Out of uniform, but in a serious business suit. And an ear bud.

"Yeah, uh, weird, huh?" I answered. As nonchalant as I could.

A bunch of kids had taken up hanging around the kid's house. The kid who was flipping cars. You could never tell when he'd do it, so we had lawn chairs set up on the sidewalk, just kicking back. It was a regular party, after school.

"Look kid, this is serious business. We know the kid in that house goes to the school outside of town. For special kids, you know?'

Now would have been the time for her to pull out a cigarette. But maybe she didn't smoke.

Instead she pulled out her ID.

"Well I'm a special cop, for special kids," she said. "O Division. Do you know what that means?"

"Uh, Zero Division?" I asked, playing dumb.

"Not zero. Capital O. For Other. The Other Division. And after our cameras get done running your faces, I'll bet we'll find out you and your friends all go to that special school, don't you?"

I didn't have a good reply for that one.

"We're going to be talking to all of your friends, and you know what? The first one to tell us what's going on is going to get out of a whole lot of trouble. So you keep that in mind when we meet up again."

The detective looked up and down the street, and at the kids gathered on the sidewalk. She made eye contact with the couple of other detectives working the crowd and gave a nod, and then POOF all three of them just winked away.

This was that kind of pressure I was hoping to avoid.

As soon as we saw that fourth primary color strobing up ahead, we knew @Amos Shore had been popped by the Other Cops. And when we saw him open up the infothene and burn across they hyper-spice threshold, we freaked out and cheered. The O.C. didn't even try to pursue.

So that's when me and the rest of the U.D.C. yanked on our graviton brakes and flipped a bitch out of there. We turned tail and headed off in all-different non-euclidean directions. Cuz they can't chase us all.

So I don't know how much you guys know about the infothene scene, but @Haunted Ed was like one of the first guys to make it. "The power of an engine that uses information as fuel depends on the quality of that information," and @Haunted Ed's information was extremely high quality. He'd make it in big stills out behind the groundskeeper's barn.

The O Cops won’t take the FTL jump. There are jurisdictional issues if they cross the hyper-spice event horizon. There's cops even the O Cops don't want to deal with.

"Wow u ride wa smoooooth! Much smooth von {untranslatable} Oldsmobile Antares!" @Nix Ixtb burbles.

"Cool," I say. "Just keep your window rolled up, ok?"

I figure I'll take us on a joyride around the Helix Nebula and be back for third meal.

So I heard they busted that kid who was flipping the cars. Supposedly he was making infothene in his parent's garage, and huffing it, and you know it smells soooooo good but if you inhale too much of it you short circuit your brain. Next thing you know you're using your brain to flip over cars right in front of your parents house. How dumb can you be?

They said his infothene still was a hazard and could have exploded and created a null/void zone the size of six blocks, but that's just propaganda they spread because they don't want people making it for themselves, running their own information engines.

Just don't spend too long sniffing on it boyeee!