*THUNK*

*THUNK*

*THUNK*

That's my new boss. In exchange for living accommodation, I decided to work for Dr Krimsborg, DPM. He definitely needs a helping hand organising this mess sometimes. The good doctor himself is currently slamming his head against his desk. I don't know what's wrong with him, but it sounds bad. I hesitantly approach with the stack of paperwork he asked for, and tap it in between his methodical clunking.

"What is it Jess?" he asks soberly.

"Those files you wanted... I finally extracted them from that damned Consuming Chest of yours."

He smiles a little. "I bought that when I was twenty five, to house all my medical books. People used to use Remote Viewing and steal the books they didn't have. That chest was one of the ways you could protect yourself against theft, you know. Now he's become a little too attached to me and it doesn't like strangers. He'll get used to you eventually. But thank you, I need to review Anita and Utora 7."

I sit down beside him, pen at the ready. "What's the issue today?"

He buries his head in his hands again. "Utora 7 is noncompliant with the medication regime and Anita appears to be having more artistic muscle difficulties."

I bite back a sigh. Utora 7 really ought to know better, and I tell him so. His head snaps up like it's on a spring. "Clients," he says sternly, "don't always know the right things to do. Even when they do they often simply ignore it. Noncompliance happens just too often." He moves his Lenses of Focus and rubs his nose. "We'll need to track down Bobby as well. Get the Interdimensional Police on the line."

I nod, pulling out a fishing rod and casting into the crucible that sits in the corner of the office. As I wait to connect to the board, I keep writing notes. Dr Krimsborg is pacing a lot, back and forth as he tells me what to write.

"First I will deal with Anita. Her case is... somewhat simpler. Anita has suffered creative cramps which was dealt with with surgery. Unfortunately, her noncompliance in the aftercare meant that she now suffers with poor creative ability. As it seems the populace of PsyHigh are very good at being noncompliant, I will provide and dose the necessary medications for Anita myself. She will come to my office twice a week for psychotherapy to improve the circuitry issues and then I will provide a dose of motor oil, five hundred millilitres and Malingnomor, 3 milligrams. These should resolve the issues of creative cramps."

"A side effect of the treatment provided for Anita was that now she has weaponry installed in her body, in the form of staples shooting from her eyes. I will therefore be making a referral to the Interdimensional Police for necessary basic training and safety precautions in regard to this talent."

I'm afraid to say I interrupted him here. "Dr Krimsborg, wouldn't it be better to file a report with the League of Saviours? Their group therapy sessions are very good."

He glances up. "Hmm, I do suppose you're right Miss Gynn. How did you know about them?"

I avoid his eyes. "I went to one of their sessions after my diagnosis."

He looks at me guardedly. "Don't go into vigilantism, Miss Gynn. It's not a good career move for someone... well, like you. I would hate to lose my secretary."

I nod awkwardly. He clears his throat and continues.

"A report to the League of Saviours might help as well." He gestures for me to keep writing. "On the suggestion of my secretary, I will also be making a report to the League of Saviours to assess her for future employment and group therapy sessions with other like-minded and like-able students."

I'm interrupted in my writing by a vicious wriggle on the line. I tug it taut and Dr Krimsborg flexes his fingers. "Thank you Miss Gynn. Hello, can I speak to Corporal Urey and Corporal Dunnings please?"

There's a pause and some shuffling of papers before a gruff masculine voice speaks. "Sergeant Urey speaking."

Dr Krimsborg smiles. "My goodness, hello, Sergeant Fetterman Urey. It's been a while since I last spoke to you. How's the pressure headaches going?"

"Oh my gawd, Dr Krimsborg! Yeah they're almost never here any more. That therapy you gave me saved my career!" Dr Krimsborg smiles at my dumbstruck expression before speaking.

"I'm glad. You're a sergeant now then, eh? I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm here on official business. We've got a controlled drug in circulation around the campus I'm working on, PsyHigh."

From down the line, Urey groans. "What is it?"

"Fantasimiria. And also dangerous use of Spectrata."

"Wonderful. We can do a sweep and drug clear in ten minutes for you, Doc. Who should we be targeting?"

"Utora 7 is dangerously using Spectrata. I suspect she will be absolutely incoherent and dangerous. I recommend riot gear to handle her... I advise taking her to the nearest psychic hospital which is equipped to deal with total loss of reality. Last sighting: four days ago. And according to her notes she gave the Fantasimiria to Bobby Mars. It's likely that, considering Bobby is an alchemy major, he has replicated and sold on the drug."

Sergeant Urey sighs. "Is that all for my division?" Dr Krimsborg replies to the affirmative. "I'll put on Corporal Dunnings for you then, Doc. Stay safe."

"Thank you, Sergeant Urey."

"Corporal Dunnings speaking."

"Hello, Corporal. Dr Krimsborg speaking. I need you to track down a woman called Anita Klue, a student at PsyHigh. She's had a side effect of surgery which has caused her to shoot staples from her eyes. She's a cyborg, you see, and she needs basic safety training so that nothing goes awry."

"I'm on it, Doctor Krimsborg. Anything else?"

"No, that should suffice. Thank you."

I pull the line from the crucible and sever the connection. He nods. "Take the rest of the day off, Miss Gynn. I'm going to close up early today. I doubt anybody will come in after the drug bust."

I nod and gather the notes up. This is definitely one of the weirdest jobs I've ever had. I'm loving every minute of it.

Dr Krimsborg. Do you have experience with... strange limbs growing in? Unexpectedly? In (well, I thought I was) humans? I need an appointment ASAP. I live with two humans and I cannot deal with this any more. I expect you'll work the same way as my old PGP and that the portal will appear soon. As soon as you can. Please. This message will loop in 3... 2... 1...

I apologise for my previous statement where I referred only to "species" as a form of student here. I now recognise that there are plenty of other entities here and have got the picture enough. I'm serious, stop writing on my walls in blood. And whoever that Silver spirit is, please leave me alone. You're making me feel very sick. So allow me to ask my question again (any minority entity groups welcoming new members?) and perhaps direct it a little stronger to @Ekatarina S. as she seems knowledgeable and helpful. That is, if she hasn't been consumed by that Strange Patterns™ stuff.

I can't contact Heerg'amal. I guess that means I'm not on the same Earth I once was, and also that this isn't my Psychik Halles either. Let me introduce myself. I am Jessica Gynn. I was born a refugee from the destruction of my planet. My sister survived with her damned pet fish who has since died and been cremated to form the core of my Psychik Channeler. I'm lazy, I call it a PsyStick. It sounds the same, right? I must have left her on my earth. I miss her. I was the only one who could ever see her as well, she must be lonely. I barely began my studies at Psychik Halles when Heerg'amal invited me to see the stars in the observatory. Heerg'amal is my Mentor. She's a Dryad, one who swore to protect those forests not far from our Psychik Halles in my universe. I wonder if they're here. If so, maybe Heerg'amal might exist in this plane? Not as I know her though I presume. Speaking of non-human entities, what sorts of social clubs are there for species of minority?

Where am I? What's going on? The last thing I remember was discussing the complex crossed-anions with Heerg'amal in the observatory on interdimensional code AL-43b Earth. Am I still in AL-43b? I think I messed with someone's warp drive and it threw me here. Is this the same Psychik Halles of Knowledge? Is anything the same? Help!