*has crazed look in eye* I am baaaaack! Helllooooooo my lovellyyyyyy peeeeeerssssss!!!! Mattie Darling here, wallowing in the success of my telepathic beauty supplies and makeover showers! Everyone looks glorious! Unfortunately, some poor soul jealous of my generosity is developing a method to disarm my possessed-ish makeups and etc. Until that poor misguided anti-fabulous student succeeds though, Psyhigh is the most fashionable interdimensional school EVER! Your, like, so welcome. And I'm not finished yet. No, I have seen how far my passion for fashion can propel me. And I'm moving beyond makeup and haircuts. Soon, the closets of all Psyhigh students will be 100% current and fab!!! "But Mattie, how can you possibly do that? And btw, you are totally my hero!" Well, adoring and curious fan, the process is simple! I learned it in my Sophmore class: "Mini Dimensions and You". And now that my Costumer Growing Club has helped me practice the techniques of universe creation, I can make a universe that is accessed through every closet in Psyhigh! I will make a small pocket world, fill it with ONLY the hippest, most fashionable, most glorious clothing and accessories (for boys and girls, no worries) and make the entrances and exits to this walk-in closet everyone's dorm room closet! There is a strong possibility that everyone's old clothes will be destroyed in the process.... but the sacrifice is worth it. Mainly because most of you have terrible fashion sense anyways. But now, Everyone will have nothing but fashionable clothes forever. FOREVER! *evil laugh* I just need some time to get the clothes, and connect everyone's closet, and concentrate enough good vibes to stabilize the new universe. But when will students of Psyhigh be away from their dangerously glowing closets and giving off intense good vibes? WHEN??? Hmm.... *reads @Scilph's post* A party?!? OMG, Scilph is like, totally my new favorite person. Especially with her new haircut. Now, I'm off to begin part two of Project Improve Psyhigh Fashion!

MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

-Mattie

Hello again readers of Psyhigh! I see you've come crawling back to me and my posts, just like my ex-boyfriends Brad, Tony, Rodrigo, Hans, Tomas, Yuri, and Don. They didn't come crawling back at the same time of course. That would be ludicrous! Not even I, in all my majesty, could handle the adoration of seven boyfriends at one time. I'm vain of course, but I'm not insane!

I've been tinkering with telepathic beauty supplies since the accidental success of @Kristopher's hair. His hair has retained volume and shininess usually reserved for shampoo commercials since Wednesday! I'd be jealous if I wasn't so proud of my telepathic tools' handiwork! So, in my usual benevolent nature, I've been unconventionally entering people's dorms and surprise upgrading their showers.** I'm just astonishingly nice like that. From what I've seen in the halls, this is a VAST improvement. Guys with more hair gel on their head than hair... girls with layers of perfectly applied makeup... and everyone smells of that French perfume inspired by me specifically, obsessionnelle ventilateur fille! Seeing everyone wander about in the halls, swooning at the sight of everyone's new found beauty... it brings a tear to my eye. *dramatically fans eyes to keep from tearing up* Well, they're either swooning or passing out from the suffocating levels of perfume in the school. But at "Matching by Mattie", we like to think positively!

That's all for today Psyhigh. I'll see your gorgeous new styles by the afternoon I reckon. Nobody can avoid a bathroom forever! *wicked grin* See you all-- *shrill scream* THERE'S ANOTHER ONE! ANOTHER! HELP! IT WILL KILL ME! LOOK AT IT, IT HAS MURDER IN ITS EYES! HELPHELPHELPHELPHELP!!!! *@Nobody's dragon Claudette swoops in and eats a tiny helpless lizard* OMG, that lizard almost killed me. I was THIS CLOSE to death. OMG. I need to go get a cappuccino to steady my nerves. OMG, I'm crying right now. OMG. @Nobody, I totally, like, owe you one.

With love,

-Mattie


** "Hi, Ava here. What Mattie means is to say is that she's breaking into students' rooms, sabotaging their showers, and stealing their normal non-evil bathroom stuff. Thus forcing them to be attacked by her telepathic products instead." Don't be silly Ava! The way you say it, I sound like an antagonist. I'm the hero here!!! Now get off my computer, I want to go ask the others if they would like to go get cappuccinos with us. I want to tell them about my near-death experience.

Scilph, you look gorgeous with shorter, layered hair. And Morris, the grumpy rocker style is fantastic on you. Don't even TRY to deny how amazing my work is. Oh, and I hope you like the complimentary beauty supplies I left in your shower. They're programmed to keep you looking fabulous without you even lifting a finger! They follow MY definition of fabulous of course... and I forgot to prgram the words "stop" and "no" into them. Oops. Anywho, enjoy!

(Ugh, stop... stop squirming Scilph you'll make me... me smear the eyeliner again! Oh, hold on, the camera's rolling.)

HELLO PSYHIGH! This is Mattie Darling; Psyhigh Senior, owner/president of "Matching by Mattie", and future prom queen! I'm reporting from the dorm room of @Morris and @Scilph, two happy customers who benefitted greatly from MY expertise and advise. Isn't that right you two? {I hate you Mattie.} Ha ha, you're such a kidder Morris! *"accidentally" jabs Morris with tweezers* I know for the past half hour you, the eager at-home audience, have only seen pre-recorded tapes of me reading my LOVE TIP books aloud, and I'm sure you're all anxious to see something new. So for the next two hours, Channel 13 will be showing my attempts to fabulize these two... humble students. We're going to have so much fun!! And we will begin the LIVE love counsaltation right now as I try to apply makeup to this girl's tragically pale face! *studio audience applause recording plays* Now, before I can give you advice about how to improve your relationship Scilph and Morris, I need to know the details of your relationship! Now, when did you two realize that you shared a deep passionate affection for each other? Remember to enunciate -- and don't pout so much you two! "Uh, isn't that sort of a personal question Mattie?" Yes, that's what makes this entertainment Scilphy! Now, answer quickly or I'll have to use my subliminal message powers on you. And STOP SQUIRMING! It's only blush Scilph, not acid! Here, let me show you. Beloved Cousin Eralonia, come here and show Scilph how harmless makeup is.... *sound of cat hissing* Uh, nevermind.

Ladies and gentlemen... I present to you... Mattieeeeee Darling! *studio audience applauds* Greetings my glorious fans! How are you today? Oh, wait, I already know because you came to "Matching by Mattie" for a love counsaltation! All my most loyal and intelligent fans have signed up for one. Don't be a dumb traitorous non-fan! Call my secretary Ava and sign up for a consultation today! *Ava is heard yelling at Mattie* Okay, like, whatever Ava. You don't have to be my secretary. But would it, like, totally kill you to pick up the phone once in a while? *Ava says a sarcastic comeback* OMG, you are such a pain! I wish Atlantica was back. She'd obey my every whim! ...Oh, and be a good friend and stuff.

Okay, so, like, I got sick of constantly putting out fires in my dorm room, so I'm doing a super cool promotional stunt today as a distraction from the ruination of my beloved room. Guess what it is. That's right. I'm doing a surprise makeover today! *studio audience applause* But this one is special, because I'm having Ava (held under contract by blackmail, yay!) film the entire process! Tune your TV's, iPads, wattpods, and mental radio towers to Channel 13 tonight at 8:30 and you can watch me give the best makeover of my career to one lucky couple. Not to mention, during the entire show I will share top secret tips on how to become the most fabulous you can be! You won't want to miss this amazing event.

Of course there's the problem of finding a couple to makeover. See, apparently no one wants to volunteer to be publically criticized about their appearance and relationship on TV by me. Weird, amIright? So, I thought, like, "Hey! I'll just ambush a couple like I usually do and film that!" See, my friend Ava here doesn't like to brag, but she has the best kinetic forcefield powers in the school! She's so good, that in the right mindset she can practically paralyze people. So, I was going to blackmail her into trapping Nobody and Walls during their gaming session and makeovering (yes, it's a word Ava, stop rolling your eyes!) them. But there was the problem of Nobody being invisible and Walls being a projection and them traveling to a different plane of existence sometimes and the baby monster that might attack me....... No problemo though. I'll just makeover and annoy my two happiest and renowed costumers! Now that they're back from camp, they are soooo going to need a facial to clear their pores. Remember everyone, tune in to Channel 13 at 8:30 pm for a "Matching by Mattie" promotional stunt! Live makeover and consultation of Psyhigh's cutest couple, Scilph and Morris! ...This is going get messy...

With love,

-Mattie

Girls! Boys! Others! It is wonderful to see you again! *blows kisses to non-existent crowd* It took all day and most the night, but I've managed to rearrange the newest flavors of "Lovesick Soda" so that random glowing space rocks are not a vital ingredient. It was difficult, it seemed impossible, but for my adoringly helpless fans I will do anything! You can thank me by buying a can of "side-effect free Lovesick Soda", only $2.49 this week only! Tastes so good, you'll want to share it with all the special people in your life. Maybe during a romantic picnic in the middle of Psyhigh's rose garden, renowned for it's numerous gravity phenomenons. (Take a hint Tomas, that's where I want to go for our next date. OMG, you're so dense.)

Big shout out to one of my fav Psyhigh guys, @Kristopher, for babysitting the business/organization yesterday! You did a great job, though I did notice that some of my telepathic hair care products had been used while I was away. I'd be angry, but your hair is so amazing now I can't stay mad. Finally, someone I don't have to surprise makeover! Anyways, I totally appreciate you stepping in, and I'm going to drop off my five volumes of "Totally Necessary Guidance To The Realm Of Love From The Licensed Expert In Love Herself, Mattie Darling" (still working on the title) at your dorm as a big thanks. These books are filled with all the LOVE TIPS I've ever written, and they're so heavy that lifting them is a legitimate workout!

Speaking of LOVE TIPS and exercise, I haven't posted one of them in, like, forever. Unacceptable! How will my clueless little fans ever find true love if I'm not constantly giving them advice? They won't! So I'll post one now before @Nobody's baby monster flies by and tries to set me on fire again. If that thing sets my brand new designer skirt on fire, I swear to God I'm sending it to Psychic Military School.

LOVE TIP #89332

"Beauty is only skin deep, and it's what's inside that counts." Ridiculous! Everyone knows that your personality doesn't matter, only appearances do! If you want that totally hot guy/girl/other to notice you, you better be looking fabulous. Start lifting weights (or heavy LOVE TIP books). Do some yoga. Wear a corset. Rub tanning lotion on your skin. Spend $500 on acne treatments. Have an ancient relic alter your facial structure in exchange for part of your soul. Do anything you can to improve your image. Honestly, let your personality rot in a deep dark pit. Nobody likes a guy/girl/other that has a wonderful personality, good relationships, and interesting hobbies. Nobody.

With love,

-Mattie

Good morning Psyhigh!!! *clutches head* Ah! Headache. Too loud. No yelling for a while I guess. The Hallucination Hour was pretty fun, right my infinite universe of fans? Thanks for coming out and taste testing some of the flavors, it really helped me figure out what the side-effects were and what caused them. Oh, and anyone who suddenly gained x-ray vision from the "Succulent Squash Slap" flavor, you get a free t-shirt from the "Matching by Mattie" merchandise! And I apologize for the pain to your cornea. So sorry. At least you met some cute guys and girls at the Hallucination Hour, right?

In happier news, "Matching by Mattie" recently reached its quota of happy couples created per month! Woo-- Ah! Head still hurts. Let me try that again: woohoo. Ah, much better. Now, congrats to Stacy + Michael, Anna + Shaquan, and John + :LSDjdksghd(*#]. You guys make such cute couples! Make sure to invite me to the wedding. ;D

Ugh, my head is KILLING me. Who knew that "Pucker Up Cherry" would be this painful??? *Ava is heard yelling in the background* Shut up Ava! You're making my head feel worse. And no, putting random glowing space rocks I found on Psyhigh grounds was not a stupid idea. I doubt it even had anything to do with the side-effects. I mean, "Common Cola Ciss" was totally normal. *@Nobody walks through dorm totally visible* Um... Nobody... never mind. You look fierce girl, keep up the good work. Though I'm going to have to insist you stop drinking sida for a while. Thanks roomie! *Nobody gives Mattie a weird look and leaves*

...Okay, maybe you're right Ava. But I'll need all day to recreate the soda flavors without the random space rocks! Who will run "Matching by Mattie" while I'm away? I'd get my doppelganger again, but it kind of went rouge when I snuck in the storage facility and gave it a surprise makeover. I am so unappreciated in my time. Seriously, who is charismatic enough, fabulous enough, suave enough, confident enough, and naturally amazing enough to take my place? *Looks at the morning Psyhigh Online posts* Well, well, well... Ava, which dorm room is @Kristopher in? I may have just found a business partner. Or at least someone to babysit my business/organization for a few hours. Finally, someone (almost) as naturally amazing as ME! *Mattie strikes a pose* *Ava groans*

With love,

-Mattie

I am very disappointed in you all. Where's my welcome home parade? Where's the confetti? The balloons? The line of tearful fans cheering as I exit the portal? I sent the instructions for my return celebration to Tulka... why didn't he follow through? Why didn't YOU follow through? Nobody even said welcome back! Well, my roommate @Nobody did. But it took her a while to realize I wasn't the doppelganger. Gosh, the way this return to Psyhigh is going you'd think people here didn't like me or something. But that's ridiculous, everyone loves me! *flashes a winning smile*

Back on topic, I have returned! *fanfare sounds* The Hogwarts College campus was okay I guess. They focus a lot more on magic studies than psychic studies though. And they tried to put me in some Slytherin house. Ew! Snakes are, like, so gross! I feel so much more at home here at Psyhigh. So, I have stored my doppelganger in @Omai Gott's storage facility (that kid is a genius) and proudly retaken my place as Head of Matchmaking, Guardian Angel of Fashion, Provider of Unsolicited Advice, Distributor of Spontaneous Makeovers, etc, etc. "Matching by Mattie" will have a special happy hour of sorts tonight in celebration! That's right, stop by classroom 375 at 8 pm and we will have FREE samples of ten new flavors of "Lovesick Soda"! Also, for just $3.50, you can purchase a full cup of one flavor. And if you are, like, totally in love with a specific flavor, you can totally buy a 12-pack for just $10.99!!! What a deal! So grab your girl/guy/other and drag them down to this classroom/headquarters for our first ever happy hour! I've decided to call it hallucination hour instead though, as it seems more fitting. Hallucination Hour: tonight 8 pm - 9 pm. Ten new flavors, plenty of sprinkles (don't tell Nobody I stole them, she'll set her baby monster on me again), and discounts on all love consultations. Make sure to come, you (probably) won't regret it!!!

With love,

-Mattie

(P.S. hey @Randy Bernstein, I like, totally saw the Intramural Flying Club while we were flying in an airplane to Hogwarts. You guys have some great technique! I would've waved hello to you all, but I was afraid the intensity of my fabulousness that high in the sky would cause your male members to instantly crash. Your welcome for not blinding you with my beauty. ;) *hair flip*)

Hellllooooooooo Psyhigh! How many of you missed me? Come on, raise your hand if you missed little old Mattie Darling! ...None of you raised your hand. Seriously? I can SEE YOU ALL. Just sitting there, staring at your screen, with both hands lying limp at your sides! Well, at least you're smirking now. That's something. But I expect an apology letter and box of chocolates for this outrage by Monday! Omg, I forgot how annoyingly jealous of my gloriousness you all are....

Some of you may have noticed that I've been a bit off recently. A slight bit less glamourous, and very unresponsive to non-customers. Well, that's because the Mattie Darling at Psyhigh for the past few days is actually one of the Costumer Growing Club dopplegangers! We've done a great job haven't we? @Omai Gott is a natural at this. Through I don't think my flawless beauty and charming smile were captured quite right... I guess no one can look as drop dead gorgeous as me. Not even a clone of me! *flashes a winning smile*

Yes, I'm not at Psychic High School this week. My parents, the total bores they are, are dragging me around some other academies and colleges. I'm a senior this year, and they are, like, totally fixated on getting my future planned out. Not to brag, but we've been invited to visit Hogwarts College this week! Now I know what you're thinking, "Mattie! You are the coolest love expert and best subliminal message crafter ever, but you're not magic! The only thing enchanting about you are your good looks!" Well, doting fan, apparently Hogwarts has expanded a LOT since the award winning biographies of Harry Potter (written by his daughter, J. K. Rowling) were published. They've added a college, new classes, and discovered that psychics with the right training can channel they're powers through wands similar to wizards! Cool, huh? It's pretty fantastic. I bet you're all totally jealous. I know the Normals were jealous when we got on the little Hogwarts Express train at Universal Studios and it went to the real Hogwarts, not the phony little castle and coasters availble to the public. Then again, people are usually jealous of me. It's both a blessing... and a CURSE! *dramatic pose*

I'll be back eventually, never fear beloved fans. But Hogwarts College has a strict no-social-media policy, so posts will be scarce. Stay fabulous everyone, and @Nate Sun... I am giving you a makeover when I return. NO EXCUSES. Your backwards frills are literally killing fashion for me. And it's a shame, I know a lot of girls who would love to go on a blind date with a cutie like you....

With love,

-Mattie

Raise your hand if you like to be fashionable! Okay, EVERYBODY should have their hand up right now. Like, nobody wakes up and thinks to themselves; "I totally want to look like a slobby, lazy, middle-aged man who's idea of accessorizing is rubbing cheesy chip dust on his shirt!" Not even my roommate named Nobody thinks that! Though I am super sad she removed all the anti-possession makeup I put on her. She looked soooo cute!

Back on topic, if you want to look totally stylin' (and as previously discussed, you absolutely want to) stop by "Matching by Mattie" this weekend! We just got a huge delivery of new merchandise ready to be eaten up by the limitless, frothing sea of people known as my fans. There are tee-shirts, long-sleeved tee-shirts, jackets, letterman jackets, leather biker jackets, sweatpants, sweatshirts, sweetshirts (yummy), sports bras, underwear, boxers, baseball caps, top hats, propeller hats, soda hats, sneakers, bracelets, umbrellas (at the request of @Gretel), rainboots, masks, tank-tops, yoga pants, bonnets, psychic force fields, AND SO MUCH MORE! Yes, we're really expanding our market at "Matching by Mattie", and it will improve your love-life guar-en-teed! What boy/girl/other could turn down a hip, young boy/girl/other such as yourself once you've put on an entire outfit with my face and business name stretched across it?

Also exciting, my totally, like, awesome friend Ava brought to my attention that lots of the students here at Psyhigh would like more variety to their clothing. In response, I have created several different styles of the "Matching by Mattie" logo. There's one for everyone! Classic, retro, hipster, emo, geeky, conservative, suave, proper, hobo... there is a "Matching by Mattie" logo to fit all of these and more! *Ava is heard talking in the background* Oh, yeah, and there are some clothes with the Psyhigh logo and emblem too. Apparently people like that. I personally prefer the shirt that has a giant picture of my face on it, but to each their own I guess.

So stop on by "Matching by Mattie" in classroom 375 from 2:00 - 4:00 this weekend! You know you want to check out all these totes fab outfits. To sweeten the deal, I'll even throw in a free 30-minute love consultation with any purchase of fifteen dollars or more. I've got a "Happy Couples" quota to meet here people, so stop dragging your feet and come meet the boy/girl/other of your dreams TODAY!

With love,

-Mattie