I... I think I should apply for the treatment? I’ve got lots of symptoms. Old Grandma Marsh has been checking my temperature with the toy thermometer and she says it’s 70 degrees. Fluffles the elephant went outside for a long time and brought back a little friend named Woozy who is a teddy bear but very ragged I think she found him in a dumpster but oh how he is trouble! He got into mommy’s things and knocked over her perfume and wrote “SMASH THE HEGEMONY” and “THE DOLLS ARE COMING” in lipstick on the mirror. Oh that made mommy so mad and I got sent to my room even though I showed her how I couldn’t have done it because my little arms and fingers are so stiff. Mr. Spider just hides in the corner, but I can see the fury in his eyes.

Can you help me, @Dr Krimsborg, DPM?

Shouldn’t there be an inoculation for Doll Flu? Even if it’s not for this year’s Doll Flu I’d totally take it. I went to ask and they turned me away. Head Nurse and her team were all wearing facemasks and the clinic was full of stricken students, sitting up in their little doll beds saying “Mama.” They’re having trouble collecting enough doll furniture to keep them occupied. Head Nurse was on the phone yelling “It’s out of control! We don’t have the resources! We need @Dr Krimsborg, DPM, stat!” Then she saw me staring at her and walked back into her office.

I hope I didn’t catch it just from being there. How stupid for me to go to the most infected place on campus! I think I’ll skip class today and just lock myself in my dorm room. Probably spend all day staring at my hands, waiting for them to turn into hard little doll hands. I heard drinking Pennyroyal tea can keep you from catching it. All I need is a tiny china tea set, with little saucers and cups and a tiny pot. I’ll invite all my friends, like Mr. Spider, and Old Grandma Marsh, and Fluffles the elephant. Oooo that sounds fun!