An immortal plumber's work is never done. As soon as we get the pipes working again, people start complaining about the Nectar quality. "It's just rust," we told them. "Perfectly natural to let 'em flush out a bit." And it's true. You know, when you go on vacation and come back home and turn on the shower and it comes out blood? You just gotta let that run and it clears itself out.

But the calls kept coming, so they sent me back to check it out. I've got my metaphysical turbidimeters, psychic drop count titration meters, and Rancho McDervish, a Nectar-tasting goblin the head office sent along. I'm supposed to keep him on a leash, but he'd just pull and pull and make me drop all these test tubes, and we can't have that.

We'll be talking samples over the next few days. In the meantime, we suggest boiling your Nectar for 30 minutes in a rare earth magnetic alembic before drinking, and serve with a slice of lemon.

Ray, Service Tech Level III
The Grand and Ancient Secret Society of Immortal Plumbers

When it rains it pours! What does that even mean? In this case it means that what started as a small increase in the trickle of Ambrosia through the secret ether plumbing of the world suddenly erupted into a firehose. All the recently cleaned out pipes and optimized flow paths I’ve been working on over the past few weeks exploded like we’d struck oil. Geysers and gushers of Nectar shooting out through every utility sink and horchata dispenser at every mystic bodega in town. They’re catching it in buckets and hats and everything else they can find to store it up, freezing it or making it into gazpacho or just putting it in big barrels. No idea if this big flow is the normal or what, but nobody’s taking any chances.

So, looks like my work is done? But do I get a thanks from anybody? Much less a tip? Nobody respects immortal plumbers anymore.

Ray, Service Tech Level III
The Grand and Ancient Secret Society of Immortal Plumbers

I’ve got one of the best Nectar Witches in the business trying to locate the Ambrosia Aquifer and even she’s coming up empty. Never seen anything like it she says. Been watching her all day with her dowsing rods, pendulums, and set of twigs from the Tree of Immortality and she’s got nothin. Bupkiss! She’s havin a cigarette and scratching her head and calling the head of the local dowsing union to discuss. And I’m tryin to figure out what to tell these vendors and customers about when they’ll have the nectar back when I don’t have an answer. Some of them are looking pretty desperate and I am frankly concerned as to my personal safety. Letting all calls go to voice mail is a start.

Ray, Service Tech Level III
The Grand and Ancient Secret Society of Immortal Plumbers

Service calls have been going through the ROOF I tell ya! I got tickets six ways from Sunday. Pinched pipes, kinks in the hoses... of course the Nectar doesn't actually flow like a liquid, but that about captures the issue because it's just not flowing like it should. Vendors are moving from place to place, looking for hotspots to tap, and there I am out with my witching sticks and dowsing rods--days, nights, weekends, and holidays--trying to isolate the problem. I can usually open up the flow a little, but do I get any thanks? This dry up's got everyone tense I'll tell you that.

Ray, Service Tech Level III
The Grand and Ancient Secret Society of Immortal Plumbers