"BWAAAAAP"

My dorm mate burps from across the room. The floor is covered with empty big gulp cups from the cafeteria. The sticky sweet smell of Mountain Dew Moss Madness is attracting yellow jackets from outside.

"BWAAAAAP"

My dorm mate burps again. She hasn't gotten out of bed since her three day long Moss Madness binge.

"Ivy? Are you doing ok?"

I get close enough to see that she's actually growing into her bed. The green fuzzy pallor of her arms has spread to her sheets. Suddenly a slim tendril shoots out of her mouth and just misses my face, sticking to the door frame behind me.

My RA says I need to be tolerant of our mutant hybrid classmates but something about this just doesn't seem right.

Ok I have a question. With all the very clear evidence regarding Doctor Greenjeans' scheme to douse local flora with experimental soda pop and energy drinks, why is the Psyhigh cafeteria still serving Mountain Dew Moss Madness? Which is ONLY available at Psychic High School?

We're already the only place other than Taco Bell that serves Baja Blast on tap, as well as Green Monster Energy, Fierce Green Apple Gatorade, and Sprite. But isn't the availability of Moss Madness suspicious? Why hasn't anyone brought this up?

Sure, it's refreshing, with all the sparkling deliciousness of the forest floor, but doesn't anybody find this odd?

Gamma Rad Tri-Hi-Y2K Psychic; Unified Servants of History; Space Keydet 9; Yesteryears Chrono Club, Dorothy Lou Hoot Mind Control Leaders of Tomorrow;
Beta Club; State of Permanent Glee Club; Intramural Basketball; Psychic Drivers’ Training Office Assistant.

Buenos Vecinos; Fat Adams Tri-Hi-Fi; Cryptoid Fact Finders; Handy Maids (Psychic); Hollow Earth Explorers Club; “B” Team Football; UK History: Prime Minister Mind Exchange Program.

Collins’ Compounds; Quo Vadis; Cursus Honorum; Adele; B-E-A-S-T-S of Tomorrow; Intramural Basketball; Powder Puff Football; Biological Research.

Haunted Drivers’ Training; Davy Jones Jolly Jotters; Tippy Typists; American Alternate Historians; SOS; Psychic Business Leaders of Tomorrow; Practical Magick; Art.

Gamma Rad Tri-Hi-Y; Unified Servants of L-O-G-O-S; Space Alpha, Psychic Drivers’ Training, Intramural Basketball.