Gee, there really are Horrifying Plastic Clowns on campus. I know because I just saw one.

And now I can't unsee it!

I'm not really considered "sensitive" in terms of Clowns. I think I only scored a .09AB on the Clown Aversion Scale when they tested me at registration. So I wasn't even issued a pair of Anti-Clown Goggles.

But... I don't know... it was... more disturbing than anything I've ever experienced. Seeing it there, behind a hedge, staring back at me with those big, blank, cartoon eyes... its shiny, plastic skin... the corroding paint...

It burned itself into my mind.

So they've already got me on a re-stabilization regime... vegetable and fruit based diet, ragas, incense, yoga, the whole nine yards.

And the goggles. I'm wearing them all the time now. You know, just in case.

Does the school just wait around till they leave? Put on the Anti-Clown Goggles and pretend they're not there?

Isn't there some kind of protocol for removing them? Like, an ancient, secret society of warriors sworn to protect civilization from Horrifying Plastic Clowns?

Who is this secretive group? And where are they?