She's fabulous... She's gorgeous... She's being mentally linked with over 2,050 other minds... Sheeeeeeeeeeeeee's Mattie Darling!!! *studio applause plays*

Well, well, well! How are all these lowerclassmen doing back at ol' Psyhigh? Oh, wait, I know. You guys threw a party, and brought CHAOS TO THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. ...Good job! Reminds me of the good ol' days when I'd wreck havoc in halls with my BFF Odite. She had to wear a mask because she was so pretty people would fall madly in love with her after over-exposure. We had competitions to see who could get the most seniors to ask us to dances! *wistful sigh* Yes... those were fun times... until she got madly jealous of me for always winning and vowed to destroy me and everything I love. We didn't talk much after that. But seriously, can you blame her? EVERYBODY is jealous of ME! *flutters eyelashes innocently*

What was I talking about? Oh, yes, that's right. The dance! You might not have seen me, but I was, like, totally semi-attending your little get together. I was only 19/75 there, yet I could still, like, conceive how lovely it was! And luckily, my subliminal messaging powers were still working full force. That's right, I may have helped a few of you with your relationships that night. @Pearline, you and Omega make, like, SUCH a cute couple. Oh, and @Gretel, I totes saw you looking at that Samuel boy! When you're done having your moral crisis, I would be happy to hook you two up! @Sthephie Serpenthine, I worked so hard to get that cute shape-shifter boy to ask you to dance. And you hissed at him? Honey, we have GOT to work on your social interactions. You could've at least given him a chance, like @Sarah Tonin did with Kyle. Even though she and Kyle (who is a complete hottie btw, minus the smoking) were an unlikely couple, they had some real chemistry! Until the whole "incident". See... that's why you all need my help in the love department. This is why the WORLD needs my help in the love department! *Mattie's friend Ava is heard yelling at Mattie from the background* How many times do I have to tell you Ava?!? I'm NOT meddling, I'm HELPING. These children are lost in the realm of love without me! ... DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!!!

Er, sorry about my outburst my lovely fans. I'm still a bit hyper from, like, the party and coming back fully into this plane of existence. Inter-dimensional travel always makes me a giddy! *hair flip* Though my body feels rather flat now that I'm confined to three dimensions again. Or is this four? I've been gone so long I can't even recall! *cute giggle* Hopefully I can get done some match making work for my favorite business/organization, "Matching by Mattie", before classes resume or I'm yanked from Psyhigh again. Not only am I, like, totally way behind on my homework, but I heard a bunch of cute new boys have transferred into school this semester! *Ava makes a snarky comment* No, Ava, I haven't forgotten that I'm currently in a relationship. But I have forgotten why I, like, put up with your attitude. Like, RU-DAH. Just because I'm dating somebody doesn't mean I can't check out other hotties! I consider it important research for "Matching by Mattie". *Ava is heard mumbling angrily*

Well, Ava may still be a pain in the tush, but at least my wonderfully loyal roommate @Nobody is still here! ...I think. Nobody, are you in here invisible? Or are you visibly not here? *muffled and reluctant reply* ...Why are you hiding under your pet monster? *another muffled and reluctant reply* Oh, puh-lease. Don't be silly Nobody! @Gretel didn't say your life was in danger! Why don't you come out of there and we can grab a coffee? I want to tell you ALLLLLL about how fantastic my new job is! *Nobody's monster breaths a small flame at Mattie* *Mattie screams and runs from the room* YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID NO THANK YOU! THESE ARE DESGINER JEANS, I AM NOT HAVING THEM BURNED TO AN UNFASHIONABLE CRISP!

With love,

-Mattie

*Heavy static is heard, with Ella Fitzgerald blazting in the backround*

HELLLLLO MY FANS! Did you miss me? Of course you did! A day without Mattie is a day that's super sad...ie. Don't give me that look, it rhymes!!!!!

A lot of you may have noticed that my physical form in Psyhigh's dimension (technically called AF12-7K by some, but I call it The Homework Hub. Yuck.) has been... compromised. Yes, my flickering in and out of existence like a ghostly flame was not the embodiment of my fabulousness leaking out and blinding you. Not that anyone was trying to spread rumors that that was the reason *grumbles angrily about failed self-gossip*. No, unfortunately one of my ancestral dimensions has been really clingy lately. Like it can't even survive without me or something. Puh-lease! Do you know how many boyfriends I've dumped because they got too possesive? LOVE TIP #4930027: Clinginess isn't cute unless I'm doing it! That is a scientific fact, tested by actual scientists who actually where something other than drab science coats! They wear thin ties and sleek science stilettos!

Back on topic to my flickery-ness, I'm sadly not given much choice in this matter. You see, I may be a normal-ish psychic on my father's side, but my mother's family is connected to the Epicenter Souls of Ley Lines. Or more commonly known by you commoners as the E-Z LEYLINEZ Corp. You know, those dweebs that, like, run the interdimensional portals and make traveling totally so much easier. Our "species" or whatever you call it could make an entire universe in a teacup, if that individual was powerful enough. (WHICH I TOTALLY AM) The head of the company recently had a bad mishap with Paris's Point Zero in Dimension WS34-9Q (or as I call it, Too Many Squids with Lipstick) and wants to retire. I don't blame the guy really. If his health is as bad as his fashion taste, he's one scare away from a fatal heart attack. Remeber people, bowties and plaid look terrible no matter how old you are!!! Usually an adult would be chosen to be the new Central Ley Line Soul, but seeing that I have the unique advantage of coming from two long lines of dimension/mind manipulation AND I'm dating the retiring head's (extremely hot yet woefully untalented) son, I've been chosen as the replacement. Which it's about TIME somebody realized how AMAZING I am! Yeesh, it's like talking to a bunch of blank walls around here, some many people overlook my wonderfulness!!!

But it also means I'm being pulled out of school so I can go throught the spiritual rituals and mental expansions so I can connect all the dimensions, their Ley Lines, and my underlings at E-Z LEYLINEZ. And by pulled, I mean my physical essence is literally being sucked into a 11-D plane while the neuronetworks are established. BORING! There's, like, nobody in 11-D (at least nobody I can comprehend) and all my sparkley outfits interfere with the wavelenghts so I have to wear "normal clothes" like a "normal person". I AM NOT A NORMAL PERSON. Leave fashion mediocrity for the trend-blind masses, I'm too gorgeous for a work uniform. Ugh, I'd almost rather stay here and write reports on the supernatural properties of Donald Trump's wig. Or chill with my friends over coffee and, like, enrich people's lives with my matchmaking skills. And yet... *dramatic pose* ...I have a greater calling in this life!

I'll stick around as long as I can hold off the combined efforts of the entire Epicenter Souls Community. It's not hard, my prsonality is too fiercely fabulous for them to easily tame, no matter how many people they drag into their summoning circle. *hair flip* But for a while I might disappear from all Humanoid-Cleared planes of existence. *dramatic sigh* This what I get for being the absolute BEST girl in existence... don't try to hide how jealous you are! I can take it!

Goodbye for now, my fans and friends! I'll still be in the halls and classes, just not with a physical form and with difficulty communicating for a while. Some days will be better than others. And if you use a Ley Line powered transportation, and come out the other side with a LOVE TIPS book, Lovesick Soda, or an amazing makeover, you'll know it's me showing how much I detest your lack of social elegence. Oops, I mean, uh, it's me showing how much I "care" about you! *nervous laugh* @Nobody, I don't care if you get a new temporary roomie so you don't feel alone at school. Well, alone with a pet dragon, cat, and my whisperfly. Just keep your crazy dragon monster atrocity off my bed and DO NOT TOUCH MY STUFF. Just because I've become a powerful being with a fraction of power over space and time doesn't mean you can borrow my makeup tools! I've set them to "Extreme Makeover" just in case somebody tries to steal them.

*groan* They're pulling me again! I hate going there... it's so boring compared to here... nobody to lovingly harass... *static grows, voice gets quiter* ...and I'll never find boots that look cute in all 11-D's... *static drowns out voice almost completely* ...and everybody here understands that I shouldn't have that much power.... *everything goes silent*

Happy Labor Day to all you American-born Psyhighians!!! Today is a day for relaxing, lazing around in the last days of autumn heat, and generally being as useful/productive as a sack of potatoes. Well, normal potatoes. As we all know from the Freshmen year's required class "Not What They Seem", there's an exception to every rule. Even potato rules. Wow, I just realized how dorky that sounded. Like, OMG, seriously.

Anyways! "Matching by Mattie" would like to release its sincerest condolences to those who got caught in the Jell-O Locust Storm around 10:00 pm last night. The first round of the Arena of Intense Competition got a little out of hand when an inanimate object animator, an insect influencer, and a cyclone creator were the last ones standing in the battle royale. I can assure you that my roommate's pet baby monster is on duty right now eating up all the excess Jell-O and locusts. Can I even call that reptilian beast a baby anymore? It's a lot larger... and moodier... and it clashes with ALL of my outfits somehow... I think it might be a pet teenaged monster. Then again, I don't care what it is as long as it's cleaning up the school and not burning my perfected clothing collection you primitive people call "an over-stuffed closet". I'm pretty sure @*Atlantica* is on clean-up duty too, that girl is so handy to have around. And she REALLY likes Jell-O.

Oh, and can we have a round of applause for our half-time cheerleaders? They were wonderful! Of course, they weren't as pretty as me, but they were quite impressive. @Scilph's electricity havoc... the twins Atlantica and Pacifica doing gymnastics and luck tricks... @Nobody disappearing from the ground and reappearing on the top of the pyramid... the pyramid of Giza that is. No idea how she got there. Good job girls! It was a pleasure manipulating you! I-I-I mean working with you! *nervous laugh*

In the end though, what's important is who's in and who's out! Reviewing the first round footage and calculating the value of the gems the boys got me (tbh, the sapphire the size of my head is my favorite. It really brings out my eyes!) I have eliminated 50 boys from the competition. All those eliminated were immediately sent a rejection letter, which contained a pheromone that'll make plants hate them for the next month. Don't give me that look, I warned you all there would be consequences! They'll just have to deal with vines tripping them for a while, idk why they're being such babies.... The top 10 boys from round 1 however will get an advantage on round 2's competition. What's round 2? IT IS A SURPRISE! Keep your ears open my fans, soon I'll announce when and where. There's only 3 rounds in this epic event, so don't miss it! Love and War are humanity's favorite hobbies after all!

Until then, we'll just have to distract ourselves with waiting for @Scilph to finish her wonderful drawings. What can I say? The vain are impatient.

With love,

-Mattie

(P.S. Somebody stole some of the gem weapons/armor that we used as models for the Jell-O weapons/armor. Please return them immediately, or the 52nd Dimension tribes will raid the school tomorrow. Apparently they were religious artifacts or something. Honestly, they would be better off worshiping nicer things like gorgeous people *flips hair* but war chieftains don't listen to reason.)

IT HAS BEGUN! WE ARE ON THE SCENE... LIVE!

184 boys (two quit earlier after they found loopholes in the waivers. Darn lawyer children.) have delved into the 52nd dimension or whatever that big icky hole over there is and they are beginning to return!!!!!!!!!!! The crowd is cheering (led by our beloved @*Atlantica*, you go girl) and already we've been fined by the school security trolls for noise violations. But the sacrifice is WORTH IT FOR LOVE!!!

I, the great prize for this competition, am looking lovely! What with my sparkling, apple cider colored dress, with a sweetheart neckline and perfectly applied make-up! *Ava starts talking to Mattie sarcastically* No need to be rude Ava! Like, what I'm wearing IS important to those who are following the event from computers and/or radios and/or mental wave-length 00192005! *Ava speaks insistently* Fine, fine, I'll talk about the boys. Gosh, you are so pushy Ava! I'm the manipulative one here you know, not you.

The first boy to fully remove himself from the hole is Reggie Richardson, with beautiful blue eyes and magnificent hair. Unfortunately, something he saw in the hole has obviously attached itself to the back of his neck and is attempting to suck out his soul. Oop, nevermind, he removed it. Points off for letting his hair get messed up though. LOVE TIP #4533333, never EVER let your hair get messed up! Even if it means death! It appears Reggie has secured a *gasp* beautiful fire opal for me!! Oh, he really knows how to make a girl blush! Oh... but it's a very small one. Reggie, sorry hun, points off for this dinky little thing. (I ALMOST DIED.) Yes, and you'll almost die again if you don't run and get your Jell-O weapons and armor. Go on! Run along! Don't you have the powers of super speed or something? *uses subliminal messages* +And don't you want to win... for meeee?+ *bats eyelashes* (Al-Alright. I'll-I'll do that I guess. For you. Why does my head feel funny? *falls onto face*) Hmm. The battle royale may take longer than I thought. At least the crowd is excited... maybe I'll make my friends do a half-time show or something until the others get here. Oh Scilph! Morris! Attie and Paci! Gretel! Nobody! *Subliminal messaging* +Wouldn't you like to help out little old me?+

With love (LIVE!),

-Mattie

*This message was originally formatted for a flyer, but has been revised for electronic devices also. You're welcome*

GIRLS! BOYS! OTHERS!
Are you ready to witness a battle royale? Of course you are! At around 6 pm, in the tragedies-to-be theatre, the first round of the Arena of Intense Competition will begin. Competing will be 189 wonderful gentlemen from our school campus (it was originally 274, but a lot of them dropped out due to "unforeseen circumstances". LAME! Like, this is a Psychic School guys, nothing is unforeseen!). They will delve into another dimension, pick the prettiest jewels they can find for ME, and then BEAT EACH OTHER TO SUBMISSION WITH JELL-O WEAPONS. The Jell-O will obviously correspond with their choice of gem. Like, duh. The top 10 gelatin warriors will get a reward, and the 50 worst will be humiliatingly ELIMINATED. The rewards and punishments are still being worked out, but, like, they're going to be, like, so cool. Tickets will be sold all day and night before 6 pm, and stands are being constructed for spectators to perch in! Just be careful to perch lightly, these stands are made from dark matter and negative energy. If you guys don't show up, I'm, going to be, like, totally vengeful and broken hearted. *sad face* Come on out and bring a friend, this will be a Homecoming event you won't forget!!! It's time to FIGHT FOR WHAT you've been subliminally manipulated into thinking YOU LOVE! <3

With love,

-Mattie Darling, the ultimate hostess/prize

MY FELLOW STUDENTS AND BELOVED FANS: HEED THIS WARNING. There is something dark among us! Something evil! Something despicable! It's... it's... COMPETITION! *dramatic pose*

I'm going to tell you right now miss @Zenovia, there are lines drawn in the sand here. I'll let you have your fun over in your dormitories by the other psychic multiples (does anybody else get freaked out by the Teleporting Triplets?) but if you stray down into my territory... BAM! Something will probably happen! Something bad! Like, idk, maybe I'll, like release my roomie Nobody's baby monster on you or something. Just stay away from Classroom 315, alright girlfriend? *sassy finger snaps*

Unless... oooooo... Zenovia, we could, like, be business partners instead of competition! Why, the opportunity like totally reeks of success! Or maybe that's the bag of @i am the champ's cheap candies. Either way, consider my offer. At "Matching by Mattie", we take care of Match-Making, Subliminal Crush Influences, Love Consultations, Make-Overs, Ambush Make-Overs, Love Tips, "Matching by Mattie" Offical Clothing... oh! I know what you'd be a natural at! Lovesick Soda! My trademark soda combining many random ingredients, space rocks I find in the grass, and gallons of caffeine! I'm sure you'd spruce up the recipe wonderfully! I'll even pay you, like, any ingredient you want is yours. I'm dating the Productive and Unproductive Potions teacher's son right now, so I pretty much have free reign of the entire laboratory. Just think about it Zenny, I'm sure you'd love it here. Why compete for school domination when we can, like, get it quicker and easier together?

Now, back to the original reason I was posting! Mattie's first Psyhigh-based Arena of Intense Competition will be beginning soon, and it's about time I release more information for the *casually checks sign-up sheet* 274 gentlemen officially accepted into this event. Subliminally influenced or not, once you're signed up you're bound to this contest, so listen up boys! The first event will be this Sunday, around six p.m. All 274 of you will travel to the giant hole in our theatre's stage that leads to the Inverse Realms and pick the prettiest gem you can find from the walls. Then, you must PUMMEL EACH OTHER WITH WEAPONS MADE OF GEMSTONES! *Ava says something to Mattie* What? It's not that dangerous! ...Fine. But only so the school board doesn't shut us down. Okay, so you guys will PUMMEL EACH OTHER WITH WEAPONS MADE OF THE JELLY VERSION OF YOUR GEMSTONES. Laaaaaame. But "safer". So read up on gems, place your bets, and choose your Jell-O ladies and gentlemen! Tickets will be sold at "Matching by Mattie" during business hours, just talk to the glamorously make-overed @Nobody! The battle for the best Homecoming Date Ever -shut up Ava, it's me not you- begins soon! (Don't tell my current bf, he'd freak.)

With love,

-Mattie

A big shout out to one of my fans, @Tessie125!!!! She flattered me so much on the comment that I look just like I smell, which is a combination of Seduction Shampoo, Free Spirit Raspberry Lotion, Coconut Dream Deodorant, and my special original never-overused heady perfume! Tessie, you are such a doll! I'm going to give you a 50% off makeover coupon next time I see you (trust me hon, you need it).

Speaking of my signature, alluring, scents, I'm somehow single again! I really thought things with Evan were going to workout... but I should've known dating a Death-Warning Psychic would be rather depressing. Oh well! Plenty of fish in the sea! In fact, there are so many cute little fishes clamoring to be my significant other - I got, like, TWO love notes - that I'm almost at a loss with what to do with them! *plays with hair innocently* Almost.

LOVE TIP #494338:

Can't choose between several boys/girls/others? That's easily solved! Compare the romance hopefuls' personalities, ambitions, astrological signs, and true souls by pitting them against each other in an arena of DEATH! Unfortunately, most places don't have an Arena of Death like in my hometown, and in some places it's even deemed "illegal and immoral"! However, makeshift Arenas of Intense Competition are easily constructed, if a bit boring compared to the professional ones. Choose at least three rounds of competition pertaining to what you most desire in a man/woman/other, set up a consequence for failure (guess what it is in an Arena of Death!), and make yourself look like the fabulous prize you are on the specified date. Works like a charm everytime!

That's right boys! Come on down to "Matching by Mattie" to compete in the Arena of Intense Competition for the heart of the prettiest, most glamorous senior girl on campus! Me and my boyfriend are, like, GUARANTEED to win Homecoming King and Queen. I haven't worked out all the details of this epic event yet, but I will post the requirements for entering here:

1) Must be Male (sorry, but I don't go for girls/others)
2) Must be Single (I don't share)
3) Must have bouncy, pet-able hair
4) Must smell nice, but not nicer than me
5) Must look nice, but not nicer than me
6) No lisps, braces, or four-eyes allowed (unless they're cute hipster glasses)
7) Must not have any psychic powers related ina any way to death *shudder*

Come and take a shot if you think you're hard enough boys! Only one can win me, and that one is the obvious Alpha Male of Psychic High School. *sends out subliminal messages to all boys* "You know you want to enter...."

With love,

-Mattie

(P.S., can somebody tell me why @Nobody is so freaked? My poor roomie keeps walking in circles whispering about forgetting things... not even a mocha latte or a forced facial helped her! Also, why is it that she screams everytime I ask her for help on my Supernatural Biology... (wait for it) Lab. *shriking sound* See? I swear, my peers get weirder everyday. *calling to Nobody* Get out from under the bed Nobody! Hiding solves nothing! Let's go shopping or something... you and your baby monster owe me new curtains. *reserved mumbles from Nobody*

Greeeetingsssssss boys and girls and otherssssss!

Oh, a moment to myself is so nice! I've had homework and studying and "Matching by Mattie" business hours eating up all my free time for days. Like, what a pain. I barely even had time to properly straighten my hair this morning! Look! IT HAS IMPERFECTIONS. This is unacceptable. Maybe I should pay my most recent ex-boyfriend a visit... what was his name? I'm pretty sure it started with an E....

Anyways, I'm sure you all also have heaps of homework to get through. So I'll keep this official "Matching by Mattie" post short. Um... I'm still fabulous and the height of trendiness. My roommate @Nobody has been run more ragged than I, and it's really been making her pet monster (sorry, I mean "dragon") anxious. We no longer have curtains, due to her concerned flames. And it was recently discovered that some of my perfumes and hairsprays are flammable when airborne. That was exciting, the Psyhigh Pest Control Squad burst in after some, like, totally busy body reported Will O' The Wisps in our dorm. Like, doesn't everybody know that Will O' The Wisps are just swamp gas that spontaneously combust? Like, seriously. Even my four year old sister knows that. Talk about RUH-da. I bet that kid believes all sorts of ridiculous fictionous stories. Like magic and that junk. *roommate Nobody flickers into and out of view* Oh, hi Nobody! Enjoying time with your elf tutor, feline familiar, and invisiblity abilities? "Uh, I guess so. I can't really talk now Mattie." Alright, alright, go wander off again. But come back soon, your hair dye is starting to fade. I'm thinking we try a new color pattern this time! *Nobody disappears from room*

I think that's all the news from "Matching by Mattie" for today. No sales or promos currently, too much hassle advertising with essays due and all that. However I did find the time to whip up a Get-Well-Soon basket for my FAVORITE customer -- *reads name written on hand* @Scilph eraloniastrophaquestborono! It's got all sorts of treats I know you'll love... like a nice top to replace that simple tank top you've been wearing. That thing is soooo ten days ago. Don't worry, my present has a totally trendy plummeting neckline!

With love,

-Mattie

P.S. Before I forget, I would like to say that "Matching by Mattie" completely supports the efforts of @Nautical Nellie and her associates to bring cleanliness back to the Aquatic Dormitories. We are alllllll about a greener Earth! Also, if you find any old tubes of lipstick or eyeliner pens in your trash pile, that totally wasn't mine. I, like, totally don't litter! *uneasy laugh*

Welcome, welcome one and all to another DANDY-LICOUS post by Mattie Darling! Yes, Dandy-Licous is a word. It's the name of my favorite lip gloss. Never doubt a Darling my friends. We're the most smartest people you'll ever meet. *stupid, smug smile*

So I was up for a long time working with @*Atlantica* and @Pacifica. It was a hard job, I'll be honest, but no matter of the heart is too difficult for ME! We came to a conculsion and solution to Pacifica's problem, which Paci refused but she was outvoted by me and Attie so who cares. I'm not at liberty right now to address the specifics of my customer's situation, but let's just say she inspired this long over-due LOVE TIP!

LOVE TIP #8039

Compliments are a definite sign that somebody likes you. If that boy/girl/other you've been dreaming about compliments you about anything, consider it a good omen for your inevitable relationship with them! Like, seriously, this omen is so big even non-psychics could see it from, like, two feet away. But not three feet, that's too far. What was I talking about? Oh yeah! So, any compliment is good, whether it's natural or caused by subliminal messaging. "Wow, I didn't think you could climb over a barbed wire fence! I need better security from you!" "Huh, it's amazing how you can survive with so much perfume and so little oxygen in here." "You really are full of yourself, aren't you?" These may SOUND like insults or threats, but really Daniel -- um, I mean whoever it is complimenting you -- is pointing out what they like about you without coming out and saying it! So once you get that compliment, feel free to start full-on courting that special boy/girl/other! If you look at it the right way, even a restraining order can be seen as a compliment! THE LAW WON'T STOP OUR LOVE DANIEL! Don't worry cutie, I'm not giving up on you... *wink*

Ah, it feels so good to be back in action with Match Making like normal again. And this lovely jingle @Gretel made just ties everything up in a neat little bow. Oh oh oh oh! Speaking of bows: I heard my little kitty cousin was attempting to follow in her role model's foot steps and be more like me! Well, lucky for you, Morris's Cat, due to increased income I am in a position to take on apprentices right now. Look, I even had an outfit made for you! *holds up monstrosity of sparkly tutus, bows, bedazzled fabric, perfume stench, and "Matching by Mattie" logo* Isn't it glorious? Once you're offically my minion -- I mean apprentice, maybe @Scilph will draw a portait of you looking (almost) as pretty as me! Soon I'll have these outfits made for all my employees/apprentices... once I have employees/apprentices. Hey, my business/organization is a work in progress guys. Rome didn't build the goddess of love in a day! *Ava groans in the background* Shut up Ava, I totally got the quote right. Aphrodite FTW.

With love,

-Mattie

Hello fan-girls, fan-boys, fan-others, and soon-to-be fans! Mattie Darling here, founder, president, and manager of "Matching by Mattie". Your one-stop-shop for blind dates, love consultations, ambush makeovers, subliminal messaging to crushes, and much, MUCH, more!!!

I've noticed another wave of new students to Psychic High School, and as a Senior with experience in interdimensional creations and pixie cultures, I thought I would be the perfect person to greet them! Hello @Erica, @Adorea, @jim, and @Kandie! I hope you remember me from when I ambushed your tour of the school and stole the lime light from that big know it all Gritumahal! Talk about a grump, am I right guys? The tour was much more... like, amazing with ME there. Gritumahal didn't know what she was talking about when she ordered me to "get lost you perfume abusing freak". RUH-da!!! Why wouldn't you want the most, like, totally fabulous girl on campus imprinting on impressionable freshmen? If you're interested in some REAL guidance through our crazy school or the crazier world of love (my specialty), stop by classroom 315 between 3:30 pm - 6:30 pm. I am all too glad to provide guidance! ...For a price of course. "Matching by Mattie" is a business after all, not a charity.

Some of my more veteran fans may remember that my rights to running "Matching by Mattie" were temporarily revoked after my *awkward cough* insanity via haunted make-up experience. Well, lucky me, the Disciplinary Board decided that I've suffered long enough without my beloved abandoned classroom and have given me the keys to classroom 315 back! *releases confetti* Thanks for the confetti @*Atlantica*. (Sure thing Mattie, that's what besties are for!!!!!!!!!!!!) Yes, as long as I stay out of trouble and keep the ol' grades up, "Matching by Mattie" will keep running! Fret no longer socially awkward and lonely people of the world! Mattie Darling is back once again to subliminally force you into immature and even more awkward relationships somewhat resembling love!!! Tomorrow (or whenever I find time to post again, lots of homework and no manipulative boyfriend means little free-time) I'll begin the LOVE TIPS and shameless self-promotion once again. Oh, it feels so good to be back!

Hey @Gretel, can you write me a jingle? I feel like our grand-reopening needs a jingle. I'll put it on the wall right next to the totally glamorous drawings of MEEEEE @Scilph made!

With love (and confetti!),

-Mattie