I tried the Spectrata (a type of syrup) that @Dr Krimsborg, DPM gave me, and it has changed my life. I read it was first used to combat psychicdelia psychosis, but its effect on a normal brain was unexpected.

I gave all the rest of my Fantasimiria to @Bobby Mars. I told Bobby what happened, about how when I went to the doctor and said "Doctor! It hurts when I go like this: ஐ ❈ ◦ ┯┷ ☦ ✧ ▦ ℷ ↂ ❃ ◙ ⌘ ⋩ ⋇ ☍ ∴ ‖ 回 ₪ * இ ✦ ❉ ¤ ╬ ۩ ۞ ⅀ ↭ ◍ ☉ ☊ ↁ ☄ ☫ ⊗ ♒ ▩ ✣ ☦ ≏ ☙ ◌"

And Bobby said "Don't go like that."

And just like that, I was cured!

Bobby said he wanted to try the Fantasimiria so I gave it to him. Because I didn't need it. And my pyrokinesis is TOTALLY under control. My hair just looks like it's burning all the time. Thanks... it gets a lot of compliments.

But the Spectrata on its own, that's a whole other kettle of fish. I feel like it is continuing to wash away the hallucination... though I was pretty sure I wasn't hallucinating by the time the Fantasimiria wore off. No I mean the hallucination that we are all sharing--this consensual hallucination that binds us all together--that's what's wearing off.

Oh, my, these keys don't seem to have letters on them anymore...

While it's unclear if my surgery was technically "necessary," the insertion of office supplies into my musculature was a move of pure genius, and I commend the artistry of @Dr Krimsborg, DPM!

Because of my natural cyborg tendencies, I immediately incorporated these office supplies directly into my body. Now I can pin a fly to the wall from 15 feet using the staples that shoot from my eyes! I also have an everlasting supply of cellotape that spools directly from my fingertips.

But I am slightly concerned about my artistic muscles. Perhaps I should have taken the Doctor's advice and laid off the poetry while things healed up? Here's what's coming out now:

undefined undefined
Getting your head pretty thin
The water's stars
The water's gold
undefined undefined

I've always played
with the sharpest tool
in the shed

get your mold
get your mold on
undefined undefined

get paid colder
undefined undefined

*THUNK*

*THUNK*

*THUNK*

That's my new boss. In exchange for living accommodation, I decided to work for Dr Krimsborg, DPM. He definitely needs a helping hand organising this mess sometimes. The good doctor himself is currently slamming his head against his desk. I don't know what's wrong with him, but it sounds bad. I hesitantly approach with the stack of paperwork he asked for, and tap it in between his methodical clunking.

"What is it Jess?" he asks soberly.

"Those files you wanted... I finally extracted them from that damned Consuming Chest of yours."

He smiles a little. "I bought that when I was twenty five, to house all my medical books. People used to use Remote Viewing and steal the books they didn't have. That chest was one of the ways you could protect yourself against theft, you know. Now he's become a little too attached to me and it doesn't like strangers. He'll get used to you eventually. But thank you, I need to review Anita and Utora 7."

I sit down beside him, pen at the ready. "What's the issue today?"

He buries his head in his hands again. "Utora 7 is noncompliant with the medication regime and Anita appears to be having more artistic muscle difficulties."

I bite back a sigh. Utora 7 really ought to know better, and I tell him so. His head snaps up like it's on a spring. "Clients," he says sternly, "don't always know the right things to do. Even when they do they often simply ignore it. Noncompliance happens just too often." He moves his Lenses of Focus and rubs his nose. "We'll need to track down Bobby as well. Get the Interdimensional Police on the line."

I nod, pulling out a fishing rod and casting into the crucible that sits in the corner of the office. As I wait to connect to the board, I keep writing notes. Dr Krimsborg is pacing a lot, back and forth as he tells me what to write.

"First I will deal with Anita. Her case is... somewhat simpler. Anita has suffered creative cramps which was dealt with with surgery. Unfortunately, her noncompliance in the aftercare meant that she now suffers with poor creative ability. As it seems the populace of PsyHigh are very good at being noncompliant, I will provide and dose the necessary medications for Anita myself. She will come to my office twice a week for psychotherapy to improve the circuitry issues and then I will provide a dose of motor oil, five hundred millilitres and Malingnomor, 3 milligrams. These should resolve the issues of creative cramps."

"A side effect of the treatment provided for Anita was that now she has weaponry installed in her body, in the form of staples shooting from her eyes. I will therefore be making a referral to the Interdimensional Police for necessary basic training and safety precautions in regard to this talent."

I'm afraid to say I interrupted him here. "Dr Krimsborg, wouldn't it be better to file a report with the League of Saviours? Their group therapy sessions are very good."

He glances up. "Hmm, I do suppose you're right Miss Gynn. How did you know about them?"

I avoid his eyes. "I went to one of their sessions after my diagnosis."

He looks at me guardedly. "Don't go into vigilantism, Miss Gynn. It's not a good career move for someone... well, like you. I would hate to lose my secretary."

I nod awkwardly. He clears his throat and continues.

"A report to the League of Saviours might help as well." He gestures for me to keep writing. "On the suggestion of my secretary, I will also be making a report to the League of Saviours to assess her for future employment and group therapy sessions with other like-minded and like-able students."

I'm interrupted in my writing by a vicious wriggle on the line. I tug it taut and Dr Krimsborg flexes his fingers. "Thank you Miss Gynn. Hello, can I speak to Corporal Urey and Corporal Dunnings please?"

There's a pause and some shuffling of papers before a gruff masculine voice speaks. "Sergeant Urey speaking."

Dr Krimsborg smiles. "My goodness, hello, Sergeant Fetterman Urey. It's been a while since I last spoke to you. How's the pressure headaches going?"

"Oh my gawd, Dr Krimsborg! Yeah they're almost never here any more. That therapy you gave me saved my career!" Dr Krimsborg smiles at my dumbstruck expression before speaking.

"I'm glad. You're a sergeant now then, eh? I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm here on official business. We've got a controlled drug in circulation around the campus I'm working on, PsyHigh."

From down the line, Urey groans. "What is it?"

"Fantasimiria. And also dangerous use of Spectrata."

"Wonderful. We can do a sweep and drug clear in ten minutes for you, Doc. Who should we be targeting?"

"Utora 7 is dangerously using Spectrata. I suspect she will be absolutely incoherent and dangerous. I recommend riot gear to handle her... I advise taking her to the nearest psychic hospital which is equipped to deal with total loss of reality. Last sighting: four days ago. And according to her notes she gave the Fantasimiria to Bobby Mars. It's likely that, considering Bobby is an alchemy major, he has replicated and sold on the drug."

Sergeant Urey sighs. "Is that all for my division?" Dr Krimsborg replies to the affirmative. "I'll put on Corporal Dunnings for you then, Doc. Stay safe."

"Thank you, Sergeant Urey."

"Corporal Dunnings speaking."

"Hello, Corporal. Dr Krimsborg speaking. I need you to track down a woman called Anita Klue, a student at PsyHigh. She's had a side effect of surgery which has caused her to shoot staples from her eyes. She's a cyborg, you see, and she needs basic safety training so that nothing goes awry."

"I'm on it, Doctor Krimsborg. Anything else?"

"No, that should suffice. Thank you."

I pull the line from the crucible and sever the connection. He nods. "Take the rest of the day off, Miss Gynn. I'm going to close up early today. I doubt anybody will come in after the drug bust."

I nod and gather the notes up. This is definitely one of the weirdest jobs I've ever had. I'm loving every minute of it.

The Spectrata (a type of syrup) has really opened my eyes. My fourth and fifth eyes, specifically. I had no idea that so much of our consensus reality is hallucinatory! But the Spectrata is formulated to dissolve those very hallucinations, so I've been seeing things a lot more clearly since I started taking it.

I'd been worried about weight gain on the drug--Spectrata is a type of syrup, so I've been needing to eat a lot more pancakes and waffles than usual. I am happy to tell you, however, that making a good waffle is NOT illusory--it is one of the best practices of reality building you can engage in. Getting the batter just right, working the waffle iron with precision, it's all part of creating true higher reality.

I suppose it's the paranoia that's helping to keep me thin. I'm seeing Psy-Cops everywhere (creeping around corners, hiding behind trees, on the news) and the fear they generate keeps them just this side of "real." But they've got one foot firmly planted in the hallucinatory World Illusion, so it's easy enough to stay a step ahead of them.

Just yesterday I was at the Hypermart buying more waffle batter and noticed a few Psy-Cops (in full riot gear, they imagined) follow me in, but it was easy enough to lose them in the aisles of powdered power drinks and individually wrapped space bars. So much of the Hypermart is hallucinatory that I walk right through it like it's not there. Which it isn't.

Mmmmm... smell those waffles!

I've had two psychomotor therapy sessions with @Dr Krimsborg, DPM so far -- but my artistic cramps are not improving. The doctor said it's possible my brain has gotten smart but my head has gotten dumb. Plus, the therapy itself is really uncomfortable. It involves intense repetitions of Remote Associations, and once I feel I can't take that any more we move on to the Conceptual Blending, which can be especially painful, with the doctor pulling against my Ideation while I push as hard as I can with my Inspiration.

But after therapy, when we try a poem (in a controlled setting) only stuff like this comes out:

Hey gold
Get your mold on
Only a rock star
Get play

you make brain brain (go!)
get the head years
don't shine fun
when the mold glitters

Your head makes ground
When the gold gets running
Get your mold on
Get play

The doctor tells me not to worry, that the years start coming and they don't stop coming, but I worry about a permanent disability. He says keep taking the Malingnomor, but we're working on an alternative to the Motor Oil because supporting the petroleum industry is against my political beliefs.

My creative crisis aside, I've joined a workout group called the League of Saviours. I know what you're thinking but no it's not a religious group. We just meet up and do a lot of exercises involving target practice and hostage situations. I feel like I'm really getting in shape! At least I can concentrate on that while my creative cramps work themselves out.

This is a general reminder that certain students have medical needs which must be obeyed by all staff and students. Some of the ones most commonly infracted against are:

@Jess Gynn, who is currently metamorphosed into a cat after someone scratched her ears in the right spot. She informs me this is very annoying as she cannot study until her claws fall out. Please do not scratch Jess's ears, pull her whiskers or try to catch her tail, as the stimulation can trigger spontaneous changing. Further study is required to fully understand but we appreciate your cooperation.

@Calliope Krimsborg, who is here as part of the summer camp, has difficulty remaining within the correct planes of dimension and time. Please do not frighten or surprise Calliope in any way unless you wish to aid me in reconstruction of a Omnilocational Stabiliser in her room. I'm not an excellent mechanic. You have been warned.

@Ekatarina S. has been in contact with Strange Patterns paint for some time. It is advised that she be allowed to complete the cycle and return to PsyHigh without significant interruption from others, as she has entered the realm of the bugs.

Thank you, and remember: the General Psychic Clinic is always open for business! For anyone, thing or non-Newtonian corporeal fluid!

I went to see @Dr Krimsborg, DPM about my time time distortions.

The doctor placed a chronal refractometer in my mouth and asked me to repeat the questions and the lists in reverse order. Finally the nurse called my name, and I waited in the examination room for another twenty minutes. I made an appointment ahead of time, but still had to wait for over thirty minutes in the stuffy little waiting room, reading magazines. The doctor arrived with a quiet knock on the door, entered, asked a number of questions, and recited a number of lists. Then he nodded and said I was free to go.

I need to check yesterday's mail to find out what happened with that I guess.

Felix McTrouserpants III

I no longer need the Spectrata in order to be able to dissolve the World Illusion. Which is good because I'm not sure @Dr Krimsborg, DPM would have refilled my prescription.

Instead, I've discovered that I can achieve the same effect by microdosing maple syrup. Spectrata is a type of syrup, so I think that I've been able to internalize the effect and trigger it through ingesting small amounts of maple syrup instead of Spectrata. And I'm talking pure organic Grade A Dark Amber. It takes 39 gallons of sap from trees to make one gallon of that stuff. And definitely not Karo or Kreayshawn some other "breakfast syrup" no ma'am. My perception already knows how to see through the veil of illusion, and the tiniest amount of pure maple syrup is enough to make me remember it.

I take these small amounts of maple syrup in different ways--as the sweetener in a batch of Haymaker's Punch, or in a mustard and soy sauce marinade on wings, or roasted with fish sauce on brussel sprouts, on roast tomatoes, roast carrots, in mashed potatoes, a glaze on salmon, maple blueberry soda, maple coconut apple butter...

As I've mentioned before, I've discovered that cooking is one of the ultimate expressions of true reality, so the ritual of creating these recipes is part of the invocation of my new found clarity. And I have Spectrata to thank for it.