Ban the Box! Ghostbox protest armbands available now.

The APSA has produced official "Ban the Box" armbands for students to show their solidarity with our Ghost brothers and sisters. Together, we stand against the inhumane and barbaric traps the administration has paid to have set around campus to indiscriminately capture and detain ghosts completely illegally and in obvious violation of the Treaty of the Crooked Realms. The APSA is working with @Big Jim and the administration on this issue but has yet to receive any official response.

Get your Ban the Box armband from any APSA member and remember to wear it to tomorrow's Ghost Ice Cream Social at the Sculpture Garden!

Sincerely,

The Champ
President of the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

Ghost Ice Cream Social - with Ghosts!

In order to begin healing the divisions on campus between the Ghost and non-Ghost communities, the Active Psychic Student Alliance is sponsoring a Ghost Ice Cream Social - which is just like a regular ice cream social, but with ghosts.

The Ghost Ice Cream Social will be held this Sunday afternoon in the Sculpture Garden (which has that covered area we can use in case of continued thunderstorms). A wide array of ice cream will be served, along with a rich selection of condiments including fruit, nuts, whip cream, jerky, sardines, jasmine ruffs, turtle eggs, vegan aioli, tenderhearts, dirt, spackle, cilantro, starstuff, assorted candies, and, of course {ahem} sprinkles.

All students and their friends - regardless of corporeality - are welcome and encouraged to attend!

Sincerely,

The Champ
President of the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

Psyhigh is a load, @onyx - a steaming load of ASSORTED CANDIES!

With the heat of summer upon us, the existing stock of APSA Assorted Fund Drive Candies is getting ripe - which is why the Active Psychic Student Alliance is having a beginning-of-summer discount blowout on all of our least heat-resistant candies!

Flavors include Steak Tartar, Yellowfin, Wet Dog Food, Old Buttermilk, Sun Tan Lotion, Mayonnaise, and Lime, and may induce sweating, eye crossing, general disagreeability, expanded peripheral vision, apprehension, and obsessive looking for lost objects.

All Assorted Candies are two for one, one for three, and all for one. These candies are priced to move! So get active and move on down to the card table set up outside the cafeteria and grab a steaming handful while they're HOT!

And support the APSA! Because some kids just *have* to be ACTIVE!

Sincerely,

The Champ
President of the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

Hello @Nobody,

Thanks for your interest in APSA Assorted Fund Drive Candies!

I'm afraid that was a misprint - that particular flavor wasn't "Frosting" but "Frothing." Similarly, while we don't have "Sprinkles" as as flavor, we do have "Shingles," as well as Hives, Chives, Chancres, Onion, Psoriasis Cheesecake, Cheesesteak, Beefsteak, Sorrel, and Lime.

Since it's a weekend, our table in the cafeteria isn't open, but I'd be happy to meet you at the APSA HQ office anytime and open up the biohazard vault and get you whatever you need! No minimum order!

So tell your friends, and get everybody out to support the APSA. Because some kids just *have* to be ACTIVE!

Sincerely,

The Champ
President of the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

This website sucksss... assorted candies! THAT's what @Jenny was about to say.

And not just the site - the WHOLE SCHOOL sucks assorted candies - when it's an APSA fund drive! That's the sign that @cindy must have seen - the APSA Assorted Candies Fund Raiser sign. (I drew it by hand! Isn't it neat?)

All this week you'll find our table near the entrance of the cafeteria, offering affordable, assorted candies for you to purchase for you and your friends. Be generous! Flavors this week include Jerk, Toledo, Happenstance, Old Trucker, Freedom's Sting, Mastication, Reverberation, Teenage Nation, and Mustard, and may cause sleep disturbances, god-like ideation, fluid retention, fluid release, fluid fluidity, nudity, scampering, whimpering, and lip synching.

So come on down to the cafeteria and suck - and do your part to support the APSA! Because some kids just *have* to be ACTIVE!

Sincerely,

The Champ
President of the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

Suck my assorted CANDies (as @Colton was saying), as the APSA fundraiser continues at the card table near the entrance to the cafeteria.

Flavors available this week include Mozuku, Old Tabi, Grandma's Obi, Konnyaku, Natto, Diakon, Yamakake, Cheese, and Pepperoni, and may cause temporary blindness, euphoria, terror, sweating, dry mouth, existentialism, nihilism, contemplation, and Satori.

Show your support for the APSA! Because some kids just *have* to be ACTIVE!

Sincerely,

The Champ
President of the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

Suck my ass...orted candies (I believe @MiranDa was about to say) and support the APSA!

The Active Psychic Student Alliance fund raiser is happening NOW! Even if you're not active, you can get your mouth active and support the APSA at the same time. Flavors include Prickly Pear, Angst, Samoan Pickle, Root Beer, Chocolate Frosting, Asinine, Zip Lock, Cherry, and Wizard, and may induce vomiting, nausea, time dilation, friend disturbance, burps, remorse, regret, stubbed toes, nose bleed, lycanthropy, and/or dizziness.

Find us (well, me) at the card table near the entrance to the cafeteria right after lunch. Buy your sack of assorted candies - and suck on em all afternoon!

And support the APSA! Because some kids just *have* to be ACTIVE!

Sincerely,

The Champ
President of the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

Hey @Reyna Thorne!

I really enjoy all kinds of Esoteric Yoga too, but it's really important to choose your specific focus, because there are so many flavors of EY (as we practitioners call it) and they each are very demanding in their own way.

For instance, you can join @Cassie and I every Thursday night in the Hypno-gym for our Personal Night Training sessions - I've already got 500 hours logged as a Personal Trainer but I'm not allowed to teach solo till I hit 2500, and my initial students are released from the Dream Asylum, which really ought to be by the end of summer. I hear they're recovering really well.

There's also the Esoteric Doll Yoga, practiced by @Bertrand P, who does have a wonderful collection of figurines, though my imported Japanese Elsa (with Kung-fu grip) plus my Cro-Magnon American Girl are necessary for any of the advanced configurations, when you're ready for them. @Bertand P is certainly getting there, but he's only been at it for 8 years.

Then there's the Esoteric Yoga Overview class, which I just started this week and @Big Jim has been a great help with - I think he's learning a lot. In it, I do a session a week on the 99 Arcane Forms and their relevance to Esoteric Yoga in the 21st century, and I administer a test (of my own design) to find out what type of Esoteric Yoga will be right for you. Ah, and I notice one in my catalog you might be very interested in - Esoteric Hamster Yoga!

Feel free to drop by my office any time - just down the hall from the Dean's lounge - and I can give you some materials to review, and after you pass some initial examinations you may be invited for the screening initiation to attend an open house.

Sincerely,
The Champ
President of the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

Gee, I'm sorry @Reyna Thorne, but the (adjective-less) Hamster Club is no more.

The Remote Viewing Falconry Club caught wind of the Hamster Club's "Open Play" hour on lower campus, and all the hamsters got picked off. However, there is room in the newly-formed Psychic Battle Armor Hamster Club, if your hamster is able to mentally project protective armor over its body, or create Soul Weapons. They have their sparring club in the gym Saturdays at 4 if you have a hamster that would like to audition.

Other hamster-oriented clubs you might be interested in are the Talking Hamster Club, Hamster Sensory Deprivation Tank Enthusiasts Club, Giant Hamster Club, Combination Hamster/Crab Racing Club, and Bowling League.

If any of those clubs sound interesting to you, stop by my new office in the admin building - just down the hall from the Dean's lounge - and we've got full-color brochures, background checks, and psychic NDA's you'd be welcome to take a look at. I'm sure we can find a club that's right for you.

Sincerely,
The Champ
President of the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

As much as I live for putting my all into everything I do, as well as being involved in every on-campus club, and also starting new clubs in my free time, I'm worried that Forensic Accountants for Faith isn't moving in the direction I think would be best for the school and the active student student body.

Like anyone, I'm intrigued by the metaphysical underpinnings of our notions of "value" and how that forms the foundation for a stable monetary system that can transcend both culture and history, but the leader of the FAF seems focused on the kinds of "arts and crafts" she specifically said this club wasn't about. My co-members and I have been tasked to knit "robot cozies" for Bob, the acceptance robot, and now to print "I {heart} Dick" t-shirts, no doubt related to our leader's obsession with @Dick Greid, the famous burrito magnate who recently started continuing ed classes here.

As a member of many (if not all) school groups, my time is in high demand, and already my Thursday night meeting schedule includes the Tropical Aquarium Sashimi Aficionados work group, Ancient Science Olympiad, rehearsals for The Chthonic Follies, and Solomon's Key Club. However, if I stop attending even one club I'm worried it will damage my chances of winning the "Most Active Student" award, which I've won every year of school since kindergarten.

But I've never been one to be a stick in the mud! I'm sure I'll be seeing you around!

Sincerely,

The Champ