UPDATE ON EXPERIMENTS

The Tester (Julia Nye) is very sorry to be so slow to update you on her experiments. AP Organic Energies is taking up most of her head space right now (they just started the unit on calculating frequencies of alpha/beta waves from the displacements in the local gravity plane, I know, the most fun thing you've ever heard) and has left little time to devote to her precious experiments.

Fear not, my Collaborators, Subject B will be arriving soon.

UPDATE ON THE HmCU (re uploaded to the experiment log due to a mistake made by the Tester)

Ever since a flavorless, hallucinogen-free drink was suggested by @Sister Taxa, the Tester (Julia Nye) has been working hard with her team to provide this. It was a long and arduous task, but a substance candidate has been found.

The first question asked in this experiment was, what is flavorless? Is there any naturally occurring and flavorless compound or resource that can be made into a refreshing and easily marketable beverage? There were a few paths we followed to come to our final product.

One of our first thoughts was to condense Psychic Energy, as energy does not have any flavor. Of course, condensing energy into matter isn't exactly legal on Earth (won't make that mistake again), so the Tester was able to use one of the PsyScience wing's Other-Dimension Labs. Another problem arose with the huge amount of Psychic Energy that would be required to condense into a liquid, the preferred state of a beverage. The Tester was able to resolve this by putting an ad on Craigslist, offering Olive Garden giftcards and Monster Ultra Blue energy drinks to those who could spare any Psychic Energy. The energy was collected, and a total of 6 bottles of condensed Psychic Energy were created. It was flavorless, in the sense that it did not activate the sensory nerves on the tongue, but did contain the thoughts and memories of dozens of individuals, some not of this world or plane. The Tester now remembers the lilac of a sky she has never seen, moons and constellations that are known in no myth of the Earth, and the eyes of a person that she loved, in a life entirely separate from her own. This experience, while not wholly negative, is not recommended for the student body. Psychic Energy, as the Tester and her crew call it, is to be hidden in a secret vault away from the general conscience.

The next passage of thought was was to investigate in nursing homes and hospitals, know for their bland and tasteless food and drink. As it turns out, the methods that are used to erase flavor are extremely well guarded. There is 24 hour surveillance in front of what appears to be the entrance of an underground facility. Symbols seen on this entry door were transcribed in a notebook by the Tester. She noticed the gum in her mouth (Watermelon flavored Extra brand gum) began to lose flavor, accompanied with a growing sense of lethargy and boredom. To prevent any future conflicts with the Nursing Homes Association or the Hospital Food Network, further investigation will be discontinued and this option will be seen as nonviable.

Lastly, the Tester and her team arrived at their third and ultimately successful idea: use the air around us. This idea sprouted from an ingenious comment made by Subject A: "Air Taste Nothing!". So, to start off, they condensed air into a liquid state. This liquid was unfortunately far too cold to be drinkable. The Tester then remembered that air was a homogeneous mixture of several different elements; mainly nitrogen, hydrogen, and oxygen. However, these, when condensed, were still too cold. To find what truly made air flavorless, the Tester and her team began to chemically combine the various elements found in the air. Initial attempts were unusable, creating Nitrous Acid, which was too spicy, and Ammonia, which offended the olfactory nerves. Finally, after rigorous experimentation, a perfect candidate was found. Dihydrogen Monoxide is a flavorless, colorless liquid, and brings refreshment to the drinker. It has certain unique properties that make it incredibly beneficial to intestinal health, outward appearance, and even cognitive ability. The Tester and her team decided to call this beverage Di-Hy™. It comes in blue aquatic themed packaging, inspired by Subject A's comments that it reminded them of their home.

To all students of PsyHigh, come to the PsyScience wing and try Di-Hy™!

UPDATE ON THE HmCU

Ever since a flavorless, hallucinogen-free drink was suggested by @Sister Taxa, the Tester (Julia Nye) has been working hard with her team to provide this. It was a long and arduous task, but a substance candidate has been found.

The first question asked in this experiment was, what is flavorless? Is there any naturally occurring and flavorless compound or resource that can be made into a refreshing and easily marketable beverage? There were a few paths we followed to come to our final product.

One of our first thoughts was to condense Psychic Energy, as energy does not have any flavor. Of course, condensing energy into matter isn't exactly legal on Earth (won't make that mistake again), so the Tester was able to use one of the PsyScience wing's Other-Dimension Labs. Another problem arose with the huge amount of Psychic Energy that would be required to condense into a liquid, the preferred state of a beverage. The Tester was able to resolve this by putting an ad on Craigslist, offering Olive Garden giftcards and Monster Ultra Blue energy drinks to those who could spare any Psychic Energy. The energy was collected, and a total of 6 bottles of condensed Psychic Energy were created. It was flavorless, in the sense that it did not activate the sensory nerves on the tongue, but did contain the thoughts and memories of dozens of individuals, some not of this world or plane. The Tester now remembers the lilac of a sky she has never seen, moons and constellations that are known in no myth of the Earth, and the eyes of a person that she loved, in a life entirely separate from her own. This experience, while not wholly negative, is not recommended for the student body. Psychic Energy, as the Tester and her crew call it, is to be hidden in a secret vault away from the general conscience.

The next passage of thought was was to investigate in nursing homes and hospitals, know for their bland and tasteless food and drink. As it turns out, the methods that are used to erase flavor are extremely well guarded. There is 24 hour surveillance in front of what appears to be the entrance of an underground facility. Symbols seen on this entry door were transcribed in a notebook by the Tester. She noticed the gum in her mouth (Watermelon flavored Extra brand gum) began to lose flavor, accompanied with a growing sense of lethargy and boredom. To prevent any future conflicts with the Nursing Homes Association or the Hospital Food Network, further investigation will be discontinued and this option will be seen as nonviable.

Lastly, the Tester and her team arrived at their third and ultimately successful idea: use the air around us. This idea sprouted from an ingenious comment made by Subject A: "Air Taste Nothing!". So, to start off, they condensed air into a liquid state. This liquid was unfortunately far too cold to be drinkable. The Tester then remembered that air was a homogeneous mixture of several different elements; mainly nitrogen, hydrogen, and oxygen. However, these, when condensed, were still too cold. To find what truly made air flavorless, the Tester and her team began to chemically combine the various elements found in the air. Initial attempts were unusable, creating Nitrous Acid, which was too spicy, and Ammonia, which offended the olfactory nerves. Finally, after rigorous experimentation, a perfect candidate was found. Dihydrogen Monoxide is a flavorless, colorless liquid, and brings refreshment to the drinker. It has certain unique properties that make it incredibly beneficial to intestinal health, outward appearance, and even cognitive ability. The Tester and her team decided to call this beverage Di-Hy™. It comes in blue aquatic themed packaging, inspired by Subject A's comments that it reminded them of their home.

To all students of PsyHigh, come to the PsyScience wing and try Di-Hy™!

UPDATE ON SUBJECT A AND CONTINUED EXPERIMENTS

A Licensed Clinical Lobster Psychologist, @Dr. Fermelda B. , has been selected by the Tester for the treatment of Subject A. Picking from the array of candidates we had was a hard choice. Professional Zoodivinator Laura Smickes showed promise, but her use of claw reading was shown to be inaccurate as compared to other psychic processes. Charles "Chunky" Grithe, an Arthropod Dream-Weaver/Psychiatrist, was also considered, but his background was seen as too broad, dealing with an array of arthropods, from those of the Arachnid class to Crabs and fellow crustaceans. The Tester wanted someone more dedicated to Lobsters. Dr. Fermelda B. Boilin showed this dedication as well as extensive work experience and impressive skills. Further treatment of Subject A will be left to the practiced hands of Dr. FB.

The request for a new subject has been made to the Lobster's Union.

Experiments will resume shortly.

UPDATE ON SUBJECT A (and small update for the HmCU)

0300: The Tester (Julia Nye) sits in position near the vending machines of the PsyScience wing. At this point, Subject A has gone five days without access to any form of energy drink.

0342: Subject A is spotted in the PsyScience wing near the vending machines. Movement appears slowed. Subject A approaches the HmCU.

0343: Upon contact with Subject A, the HmCU emits the sound of lobster claws snapping and clacking; SnaP ClacK-ClaCk. This roughly translates to "Back off". Subject A retreats.

Over the course of ten minutes, Subject A attempts to access the other vending machines, meeting the same snapping and clacking.

0353: Subject A begins to slowly crawl away. The Tester approaches Subject A and successfully captures them.

0357: Subject A is moved into a 75 gallon tank (no Monster Ultra Blue or other energy drink added).

Currently, attempts to contact a professional Lobster Behaviorist / Psychologist are in motion. Subject A continues to long for Monster Ultra Blue.

Experiments will soon pick up again, but seeing how Subject A has been affected by Experiment 1.0, a new subject will be hired from the Lobster's Union.

In other news, the Tester is open to requests for new drinks to be put in the HmCU.

UPDATE ON SUBJECT A AND THE HmCU

Due to a mishap with the HmCU, there will be no further use of the HmCU as a method of containment. All locking and trapping mechanisms have been disarmed, but the HmCU still works as a vending machine. The Tester (Julia Nye) plans to use all revenue generated in future experiments. Students using the HmCU should still exercise caution when retrieving items and should avoid reaching too far into the machine.

@Candice Jackson, the student involved in the mishap, was given a Mountain Dew Pitch Black Energy Zero Ultra and an Olive Garden gift card (containing $12.37) to ease any issues caused by misuse of the HmCU.

Investigative processes have revealed Subject A continues to dwell near the vending machines in the PsyScience wing. Surveillance has been increased in this area. Currently, vending machines are being given anti-lobster measures. The Tester believes that if Subject A's access to energy drinks is restricted, physical capability will be reduced and Subject A will become easier to capture.

Those entering the PsyScience wing may request Lobster Repellent from the Tester.

Experiments will continue once Subject A has been re-captured.

UPDATE ON SUBJECT A

Investigative processes have revealed that Subject A frequents the vending machines of the Psyscience wing. With this knowledge, a method of containment capable of luring Subject A has been made.

The Homarus monstericus Containment Unit (HmCU) resembles a
Seaga Infinity INF4S Snack Vending Machine and is stocked with Monster Ultra Blue (and several Mountain Dew Frostbite energy drinks to add variety). Upon the entrance of Subject A, the vending machine will lock and Subject A will be unable to escape.

A caution to all students, please refrain using the HmCU, as the locking mechanisms could identify a hand entering the vending machine as Subject A and activate. The Tester (Julia Nye) is not to be held accountable for any sprained wrists, broken metacarpals, dismembered fingers, or any other injuries sustained from the misuse of the HmCU.

Effectiveness of the HmCU is untested, but outlook for the capture of Subject A is good.

Experiments will continue when Subject A has been re-captured.

UPDATE ON SUBJECT A

Through investigative processes, Subject A has been confirmed to be trapped in the Psychic Sciences wing.

Experiment 1.0 appears to have increased Subject A's physical capabilities, especially in the areas of strength and speed. Subject A continuously evades the tester (Julia Nye) in any attempted direct means of re-capture.

Attempts to re-capture Subject A with bait (16 fl oz Monster Ultra Blue) have shown limited success, but current methods of containment (Petmate® Compass Fashion Pet Carrier) have been repeatedly breached by Subject A.

The search for a better method of containment is in motion.

Experiments will continue when Subject A has been successfully captured.

@Ms. Hazeltine , sorry to inform you, but a subject of my experiments escaped. Subject A is a (potentially aggressive) lobster. If you happen to find Subject A, please return them to me.

EXPERIMENT 1.0 - UNLOCKING IMMORTALITY IN THE HOMARUS

0800 : Subject A, a three year old male Homarus americanus in the stages of molting, is fitted with a Telepathic Linkage Head Cradle, which is then connected to the tester (Julia Nye). Initial psychic conditions measured as such:
Subject A is in a state of confusion (most likely due to the new environment) and exhaustion (most likely due to the energy taxing process of molting). Repeated psychic messages of; "Where Am", "Time To Molt", and "Molt Is Hard, Wow!".

0805 : 75 gallon tank is filled with 74.5 gallons of purified water and .5 gallons of Monster brand energy drink (flavor: Ultra Blue) to provide energy during molt. Subject A's psychic conditions remain stable.

0825 : Subject A is placed into 75 gallon tank. Subject A's psychic conditions reflect surprise and delight (most likely from change in environment). Repeated psychic messages of; "Back At Wet Home, Wow!" and "Wet Time".

0830 : After 5 minutes of submersion, exhaustion has subsided, and Subject A has become more active in the tank. Subject A's psychic state changes. Repeated psychic messages of; "Wet Home Taste Good, Wow!" and "Molt Easy!".

0835 : After 5 more minutes of submersion, Subject A continues to increase in activity, moving side to side in the tank quickly. Psychic state reflects excitement. Repeated psychic messages of; "Wow wOw woW" and "Moving Fun Very Fun!"

0840 : After 5 more minutes of submersion, Subject A's activity continues to increase, bordering on aggression. Subject A moves in the tank so quickly as to cause spillage. Psychic state is frantic. Repeated psychic messages of; "FAST FAST FAST" and "GO TIME".

0843 : Subject A cuts the wires of the TLHC with its pincers and punches a hole in the tank. Subject A exits through this hole and evades the tester. Current location of Subject A is unknown. Last psychic messages received by the tester as follows; "FREEDOM CALLS ME" and "MUST LEAVE WET HOME".

end of experiment log.
attempts to locate Subject A are in motion.