I think it's well known to students that I'm a bivalve, and that I spend a lot of time feeding in the bio-swale near the science building. Many of you have been very kind carrying me between my tank in the Aqua Dorm and classes, and dropping me off in that beautiful little stormwater drainage area at the science lab. Since I have no legs.

You may have noticed that I've recently grown a great deal, and a big thank you to @Janitor Pete for lending the wheelbarrow to help cart me around in. But what you may not have noticed is that I've also become increasingly clairvoyant! For instance, I know exactly who will be picking me up today (looks like you forgot your notebook in the science lab, @Daniel), and that eventually the Psychic National Guard will need to be called in to prevent my rampage, once I reach the size of a small house.

But there's a lot of good times between now and then. See you at the science lab!

Oyster Ray
Psyhigh's Favorite Mollusk 2017

I just found some sort of big, shiny pearl in one of the changing room showers. Did you make this, @Oyster Ray ? I mean, it's beautiful, but it was kinda cloaking the plughole...
I gave it to the lost and founds, if you want to retrieve it. Still, I didn't realize you could do that...!

Ah! My pearls of WISDOM! Yes they are growing larger too! They just come right out of me and I share their goodness with the world. But sometimes they do plug up the cloakholes.

Thanks for turning it in @Whiny Betty, but if you find another feel free to keep it. If you lick it it will give you visions.

Ever since I've been feeding in the bracken near the science building I've been producing those pearls at a furious speed. Soon they will be shooting out of me at a constant rate and velocity strong enough to support interplanetary travel and propel me through the stars! I have seen this through my increased clairvoyance.

Oyster Ray
Psyhigh's Favorite Mollusk 2017

I was checking in with Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, because I like that skunk. When I bring him eggs and cheeses for his sandwiches it is not just because I am looking out for him. It is because I enjoy his company.

But sometimes I think that skunk needs help and he is too proud and grumpy to ask for it! Like today when I went to his office to visit I noticed that his tail was very large and I asked "Why is your tail so large and bushy Mr. Moon? Did you have a fright?" and he said no that it is what you call a work-related injury. I do not want my favorite skunk detective to have any injuries ever but he said that it would not threaten his life and that his tail was involved in research about the problem of the strange effects they are having from the science building.

Then he got very excited and made me promise not to drink any water from the drinking fountains at the science building and I said that is OK I do not trust the drinking fountains anyway because they are crusty.

I've been basically living in the science labs for weeks, sleeping there, eating there, skipping classes... but I should be able to get credits for what I've done. I just want to make sure I get to keep the patents.

@Rather Large Rabbit has been a big help as a test subject. Naturally I don't generally condone animal testing, but R.L. Rabbit has a thing for it. It's a little disturbing, frankly. "Got anything to test on me doc? I need a dose." So what's a budding psychic cosmetic research scientist to do? So far I've grown horns on him (my Jackalope Surprise Shaving Soap), turned him a number of different day-glo colors (Every Color of the Rainbow All-in-one Shampoo and Conditioner), and made his eyes as big as basketballs (the Omniscient Ocular Accentuator). R.L. Rabbit has an endless appetite for it.

Meanwhile, @JJ Cricket is scaring me. I've so far kept him from destroying the lab on his visits to the loading bay (he's as big as a bus now) but when I suggested maybe backing off on the de-miniaturization soap he got downright dangerous, knocked over the dumpster like a mad bull, and scared a skunk that had been rumaging in the garbage. I've been giving him some placebo soap instead and he's so unhinged (and huge already) that he hasn't really noticed. But he still crashes through the woods almost every night to visit me and rant and demand more soap. I am not sure how to defuse that situation. Maybe he'll come to his senses.

Anyway, the Psyhigh labs are great, and it's so convenient to be able to just pour my failed experiments down the drain. I'll have some new products ready soon, so let me know if there's anything special you need for your psychic beauty routine!

Okay guys, be honest with me... have the pipes been sounding weird to anyone else lately? Especially near the science labs. If you listen closely, it sounds like something is dragging itself through the draining system... something heavy.

Now, I know that sometimes the mermaid population in the school includes a mudskip-maid or two, but I swear I haven't seen any in the halls or swamp pools this year. And after that one time Marissa got caught sneaking through the pipes after curfew the school basically blocked all the traditional entrances, so even if the mudskip-maids were here it still couldn't be them. I'm starting to worry about whatever it is that's scooting along in the drainage system. With all the Strange Patterns graffiti paint that the janitors have been trying wash off the walls, the drains are probably even more dangerous and confusing than usual. You know, I stepped in a puddle of that paint's ooze yesterday, and was so enticed by the splatter it left I didn't look where I was going and fell down the steps. Several times. I had to throw the shoe away in the end. I felt uncomfortable with its affect on my sole.

Anyway, I think I'll have the Positivity Club do an analysis of entity energies in the school pipes. Just to be safe. But as long as no nefarious aura influxes pop up, well, one more "mystery" at Psyhigh can't hurt, right? If you guys could do me a favor and not dump anything excessively toxic, unstable, or drain-clogging down the pipes for a little bit, that'd be awesome. I mean, we're supposed to be handing that stuff over to Tulka for "special disposal" anyways.

Oh ugh! I do NOT want to think about this science lab problem seeping into the Aqua Dorms and our canals. After my cleaner waterways initiative (NOT the AquaDarlings', as erroneously reported in Orca Teen Magazine) we created a campaign to disconnect waterspouts from the storm drains, thus reducing stormwater overflow into our system.

I haven't sensed anything in my gills, but I'll check in with the freshman mudskippers all the same.

Thanks @Klarya!

I have learned to control my pearl production to such an extent that I am successfully using them as a means of locomotion! I shoot them from my body in an effervescent stream, like blowing bubbles, propelling myself above the houses and the treetops.

This means I can get around campus on my own just fine now. And a big thank you to everybody who helped out with the wheelbarrow.

Now I am no rocket scientist, but I feel I've attained the perfect size for flying around on my bubbles of pearl--the size of a very large dog! If I allow myself to drift quite slowly, I find I can remain aloft by merely popping out a pearl now and then, and this size lets me navigate closed spaces like the school halls and classrooms.

Oh but here comes that wind they were predicting, and me out on the practice field with no hands to grab onto the grass with. Yes, I'm afraid there's no flying against this wind, I'm going to just need to let it take me away, just like I saw in my clairvoyant visions. Oh drat.

Oyster Ray
Psyhigh's Favorite Mollusk 2017

I AM THE KING OF THE CRICKETS! AND THE WOODLAND CREATURES! BOW DOWN TO ME!!!

Hi. Through the wonders of science, I have attained my true and destined form. The size of a 1980's recreational vehicle!

Come a little closer, won't you?

No?

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

There. Now I can whisper in your face with my massive cricket breath and tell you I think something funny is going on here. I have built a palace of grass and logs and highway barricades in the woods, and the squirrels and the wombats have told me that they are growing smaller and smaller all the time. And the woods are growing smaller too. And the telephone poles. And the sky.

I have noticed this too! But I seem immune to this strange effect. I must visit @Marthew17 to discuss. Tonight. When I go to pick up more soap!

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

After a few hours in the isolation chamber, the Psycops had to let me go.

"Where's the junk, Bobby? We know you got a bottle of it. So far it's not a felony. It's possible we might just let you walk if you come clean."

"I'm afraid I don't know what you officers are talking about."

"Yeah well we heard different."

Did @Utora 7 tell her doctor about the Fantasimiria? Utora didn't seem the tattler type. And wouldn't it be breaking some kind of doctor/client privilege? Seems like it's easy to overlook things like "laws" and "rights" where kids are involved. Especially psychic kids. And psychic cops.

"Honestly, officers, what kind of "junk" are you even talking about? Is this about not separating my recyclables? Because I can explain. It was the end of term and we had to be out of the dorms by--"

"You know exactly what we're talking about, Bobby. Do you want us to read the little dossier we've got here? Bobby Mars, 15 months, suspended, illegal distribution of Anticipaterol. Bobby Mars, 8 hours community service for illegal distribution of Unpatriotica. Bobby Mars, 3 months mandatory aura testing for illegal distribution of Ennuiphernal. Bobby Mars, 39 hours of required--"

"Truly officers, I'm a changed man! I've learned my lessons! And, importantly, paid my debt to society. You can't just round me up every time you want a kid to knock around. I have rights. My arms are still sore where you grabbed me, and I think I could have a concussion from when I hit my head on the door of your hoverflyer."

"You didn't hit your head! You--"

"Easy Tina," the good Psycop breaks in.

So they strip search me and use their xray vision on my shoes and clothes and nothing comes up, and they have to let me go.

But you can bet they're keeping an Eye on me. Maybe it's floating right behind me, right now, and stays exactly behind me no matter how quickly I turn my head, and doesn't show up in a mirror or have a shadow. And I'm afraid the other students are too well trained to let somebody know when they've got the Eye on them like that, because they don't want to get marked down as an accomplice.

Guess it'll need to be a little while till I drop by the Science Lab to pick up my finder's fee from @Marthew17.