Well hi! I'm a Bimpliboo!

I live in Mushroom Village, in the yard by the Science Building! With all the other Bimpliboos! We love to march and sing and do handstands. I guess you could say we're a new life form, because we didn't exist as a species or a people until just last month. But now we're here to stay, and so cute and cuddly you just want to squeeze squeeze squeeze us! And we love it!

Will you be our friend?

It had been great having the Science Lab to myself this summer. I was free to continue my experiments without any intrusion. How good it was to be released from the oppressive judgement of my "teachers," and free to create as I see fit! My skills unleashed, I invented such never-before-seen cosmetic products as Changing Mood Hair Chalk, Dancing Waters Tooth Straightener, Auto Calculating Nail Polish, Legett Hair Fastener Heat Bags.... The list goes on and on.

But it's been hot, and as the Science Lab lacks proper AC, I've had to prop open the doors with fans. This let in some amount of gnats and mosquitoes, but with @Rather Large Rabbit and his Linguamander trans-dermal implants by my side, I avoided most of the bites.

But now we've become infested by @Bimpliboos. They're coming in through the doors, the pipes, and even in through the walls. "Love ussssss! We're cuteeeeeeeeeees!" they cry, no matter how many I shove down the disposal. They crawl up my legs and bump the microscope at the most inappropriate times. They knock over test tubes and fiddle with the cultures. We've tried setting traps and poison but nothing seems to hold them back. I'd call in @Janitor Pete but I wouldn't want him asking questions about my waste disposal methods...

I know! If I can just get @JJ Cricket (on one of his manic visits) to LEAP onto the yard and crush their Mushroom Village, perhaps that will destroy their nest? He remains in his tremendous, bus-sized form, and may be just large and heavy enough to put an end to their adorable madness.

Attention to all Student Volunteers:

Head Volunteer Ricky asks that all available students transport/teleport/manifest themselves to the Volunteer Base tent. There's a fungus infestation we need to address immediately. It's still up for debate if we're going to eradicate the fungi or bring it picnic baskets, so if you feel strongly you better get here and state your case. And hurry, it looks like it's already grown into a small village....

Ricky apologizes that he couldn't send this message himself, but the newly-arrived fungi village residents (@Bimpliboos they call themselves?) stole his laptop and are using it for adorable antics. Disregard any messages you receive from him, no matter how endearing or enticing.

-Klarya, Student Volunteer

THUMP THUMP THUMP Crash!!!!!!

WHERE ARE MY cough! hic* argggghhh!

Excuse me. Time for my indoor voice.

Where are all my precious little new friends, the @Bimpliboos? I visited them just the other night in their tiny mushroom town. We made fast friends, and they loved climbing over my huge form and removing the peksy chiggers and mites that have been plaguing me so. They get into my spiracles and up between my platelets and oooooo how they itch! But those little @Bimpliboos just get right in there and dig them out. I think the @Bimpliboos eat the mites and chiggers as food. So you can say it's a symbiotic relationship.

But now when I returned to their mushroom village it was flattened! As if some very large, very heavy... thing... had sat right on top of their tiny mushroom town and squished it flat. It is a tragedy! If I find out who crushed my new friends little village I'll show them how it feels. By crushing them!!! ARRRRGHHHHHHH!!!

So I am glad the @Bimpliboos are expanding. There are lots of nice lawns ALL OVER CAMPUS where they can grow their mushroom empire. I must go visit them now, because these chiggers are making me itchy!!!

THUMP THUMP THUMP Craashhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Every so often today I'll be doing something and think, "hmm, that's odd, why is this thing on my hand?" Then I remember, "Oh, that's a splint. For my finger. Because it's broken." *sigh*

I've had quite a few injuries in my lifetime -- concussions are highly common in those who play with other forms of sight -- but this is my first broken bone. I know I'm super lucky that it's just a finger. And @Dr Krimsborg, DPM said that if the break had been bad enough I could've needed surgery. Yet I can't help but feel... unbalanced with this thing hanging on my hand. Guess I'm just a whiny baby, huh?

That's what I get for joining the Student Volunteer Brigade. They deployed me and some others to go see what was happening in the quad, because there was lots of chanting and rumbling. Last time that happened, a portal was opened in the ground and some underclassmen got indentured to a transcendent being as farm hands. Remember that? The quad had sigils burned into it for weeks! I hear the kids will get released soon, but that might be a rumor. They've only been gone two and a half years after all.

Oops, I'm rambling again. Back to the matter, surprisingly this time it wasn't a summoning circle but a crowd chanting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" as a @Rather Large Rabbit and @JJ Cricket confronted each other. JJ was hopping mad (not surprising) but Rabbit looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. Young astrologers don't typically like being cornered. Especially if they're cornered by angry horoscope followers.

Poor Rabbit wasn't being charged with misinterpreting the retrograde of Mercury though. From all the shouting, it seemed like people think he's responsible for the mysterious destruction of the mushroom village last night. Now, I don't know who's responsible for that or if it was right of them to do it, but I do know a scared rabbit when I see one. Some jerk had put up an invincible energy field to keep the two "fighters" inside the "ring" (seriously guys? I thought we were psychics, not WWE wrestlers.), so I pushed my way over to one of the energy stones and disputed its connection to the others. As soon as Rabbit sensed the field drop, he was GONE. And in the chaos that followed, I got pushed down and jammed my finger funny when I landed. It hurt slightly less than the pain of your voodoo doll being pricked with a needle. In other words: OUCH.

I haven't seen any rabbits or crickets since, so I hope that everyone has calmed down. There are rumors that Dean Hammer is going to have a school assembly soon to address the incident and encourage "student body personality cohesiveness" or something like that. The hive minds here would just LOVE to hear that... boring old conformists....

Ah, sorry, I didn't mean that! Sorry, sorry, this injury just put me in a bad mood. It didn't help that the whole time I was at Dr. Krimsborg's he was trying to convince me to drop Abstract Dissections. I don't intend to do that -- I'm too excited for it -- but I may stop by his clinic again. This splint is really bugging me. Maybe it's the accelerated healing salve he put on it? I hope I'm not allergic. The last thing I need right now is for my Other Eyes to start watering....

Summer school at Psyhigh is a lazy time of year. There's remedial classes for students who flunked a course (Guilty! It was Predestination 301, but I think the teacher was just trying to make a point), and students doing "private study" (Also guilty! Trying to push my GPA as high as I can), and a skeleton crew of staff and groundskeepers. I'm friends with @Janitor Pete, who gave me the tip to stay out of lower campus today due to some kind of mutant animal altercation.

So I hung out near Deju Vu Park (I'm calling it now) and waited for the bus. Still wasn't ready to see the chicken lady, even after yesterday. But am psyched for my babysitting gig tomorrow! I hear Ms. Amadria's house is awesome. And $50! Can't wait.

You might think that Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, has had a hazy lazy summer but you would be wrong to think that. Even when he is napping in his office or sipping iced Pineapple Weed tea on his stoop he is always working hard gathering INFORMATION. He has many woodland informants who are his eyes and ears and he is finding out a lot about the problem of the Science Building and the Strange Effects. Would you like to know what he discovered so far here it is.

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From the desk of:
Larry Moon
Skunk Detective

Case #973010
Unnatural Foods

Humans create all kinds of problems. Mostly for themselves, but when their problems end up oozing into the woods, then it's my problem. I'm Larry Moon, Skunk Detective.

It started out as an illegal dumping case. Some crackpot in the science lab at the school was dumping highly reactive agents into the storm drain, causing havoc in the local ecosystem.

As I looked deeper into the problem, it quickly became clear that we had a whole Backcountry Drug War on our hands. The mad scientist in the lab was creating experimental psycho-cosmetics, strictly small-time, and pouring his toxic waste down the drain. But when the local forest cartel caught wind of it, they smelled business. They call themselves the Stimulus Committee, made up of low-life dropouts from all the ranks of the woodland folk--maladjusted deer, prickly porcupine, demented squirrels, jerky scrub jays, all headed up by someone they refer to as the Corn Fairy.

The Stimulus Committee started bottling up the runoff and distributing it up and down the forest food network. And through their webcast: The Forest Food Network. They reached all levels of the eco-web--from the small time watering holes in the hills to the Elderly Raccoon Lodge in the city.

At first the woodland folk didn't see any harm in it, but once they began to grow, or glow, or float through the forest they found they had a taste for this psycho-cosmetic run-off. Then found out they had a habit.

That was trouble enough, but then an out of town cartel caught wind of it. They call themselves the Shrimp Chimps. Not forest folk at all, but an international group, looking to expand their reach into the woods and take control of the action. And at the center of it is the source--the Science Lab.

I'd advise all the forest creatures to keep their heads down and stay out of the crossfire till this gets sorted out.

dem Chloraform Kidz r bad newz

We're the Bimpliboos! And you LOVE US!!!

We're EVERYWHERE now! In your closets, in your pockets, and even in your shoes! Aren't we SQUIGGLY FUN??!!!

And we're under your beds! Your fluffy new Trans-Dimensional Shape Foam Beds. We love them because they're SO TRANS-DIMENSIONAL! And cute! JUST LIKE US.

We used to live out doors in our Mushroom Kingdom but we got TOO SQUISHED by giant crickets. And a @Level 8 Bouncy House. BAD Bouncy House. BAD giant crickets.

But we just POP UP more! Because we're full of LUUUUUUUUUUV.

Will you be our friend? SQUEEEEEEEEEZE US!!!!!

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