Well yee-heck. Ever since my troubles with that wildcat @Lily Piedmont, I've been a bit down in the dumps. I thought I'd be doin' some good by spending my retirement teaching little whippersnappers what I knew about equine wranglin', what with my twenty years experience as the number one stunt rider for flying ponies in Hollywood. But kids these days, I tell 'ya.

So I made the mistake of moving into Fumbles the Rodeo Clown's double-wide on the outskirts of the UHE (United Horse Empire), and well we fell into some old bad habits, drinking cactus juice from sunup to midnight, burnin' bonfires and throwing bottles. Ventually the UHE Centaur Cops had to get involved, but it was all for the best because it was time for ol' Flying Lasso Larry to clean up his act and get back on that pony.

And that's when I had the inspiration for the Psyhigh Rodeo, @Ms. Hazeltine.

Why yes, @Lasso Larry, a Psychic High School Rodeo sounds like a wonderful idea. The Psychic Groundskeeping should be wrapping up soon, and the newly refurbished Psyhigh Fairgrounds will be "just busting" for a grand re-opening later next month.

Did I get that right? With the "just busting" reference? Like, "bronco busting" or "busting buckaroos" or "getting busted by the sheriff"?

We look forward to the Psychic High School Rodeo, @Lasso Larry. And of course we'll need to have all participants sign an additional waiver concerning injuries sustained through interactive mythological animal sports and husbandry, but we can just include it as a rider to the cafeteria subsidy.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

RIDERS WANTED!

This here's an open invitation for all the psychic cowpunks and bareback brain busters at Psychic High School:

We are now taking entrants for the Psyhigh Rodeo, to be held Saturday, August 22nd, in the Old Corral, located behind the gym right near them great big piles of sentient compost.

Sign up in the tack room to try your hand at classic psychic rodeo events such as ( but not limited to):

Bareback Bronto Bustin'
Ghost Wrangling
Pegacorn Riding (Eastern Style)
Team Devil Roping
Giant Poisonous Centipede Barrel Racing
Horned One Wrestling

Centaurs with student ID from the UHE (United Horse Empire) are welcome to participate.

Get your name in the running today to win FABULOUS PRIZES!

See ya' in the tack room!

And in the summer, we would wear cowboy hats.

I’m in!

Will there be a cat flying room at the psychic fair, @Lasso Larry?

Well heck yeah, @Cairo Ostracon there'll be a cat flying room. One for the small cats and one for the big cats. There'll also be a butterfly tying room, mind baking contest, worm pulling tournament (weather permitting), a corn-mile jump, and an antique doctor pull. This is a proper psychic fair and rodeo.

You might have noticed the Great Horned Beetles that arrived in the semi-trucks recently--looks like the team roping event is on. The Brontos are due to be airlifted in this weekend, the ghosts are beginning to arrive by mail for the wrangling contest, and those Giant Poisonous Centipedes are looking pretty surly in their pens. They'll be in quite a mood when the barrel racing starts.

Plus! Surprise special guests this year: The Big Ropers! You just won't believe what they will do to you. Stay tuned on that one!

It all happens Saturday, August 22nd, in the Old Corral, located behind the gym right near them great big piles of sentient compost. Don't forget to sign up today!

Well heck @Julia Nye I think you better get your Dihydrogen Monoxide concoction entered into the Industrial Psychic Chemistry competition coming up at the Psychic High School Psychic Fair and Rodeo, this Saturday, August 22nd, in the Old Corral. Did you know you can have a booth and give away free samples and win fabulous prizes?

Well ‘ya can!

Along with Industrial Psychic Chemistry, there’ll be prizes awarded for the best Honey & Products of the Hive (giant division), best flaming bouffant, a judging contest (not for the easily offended), who makes the best Rose Pie, and a whole lot more!

Special guests: The Big Ropers

Don't forget to sign up today!

See ya' in the tack room.

Rodeos are cruel to animals, even imaginary ones, @Lasso Larry. You and the school should be ashamed.

SAY NO PSYCHIC RODEO!

Well don't get your chaps in a bunch, @Meigle 7. We know how to treat our rodeo creatures fair & square. We have dedicated wranglers and safety protocols we follow for all our stock, be they of the overly cute mammal, ferocious insect, ravenous reptile, or completely mythical variety. Plus, each featured species of critter has an assigned empath, who remains completely in touch with their herd throughout the event. These empaths feel everything that each animal feels, and you can observe these empaths in their cages suspended over the arena. We call these empaths "psychic rodeo clowns," and are recognizable by their traditional face paint and red noses and colorful attire.

And there's still time to sign up for these rip roarin' events! And enter the Rose Pie Eating Contest to boot. Drop on by the Old Corral in the morning! Fair events open at high noon, various activities in the corral all afternoon, and the rodeo starts at 8.

Lookin' forward to seein' y'all there!

We watched about all of the empathy clowns we could take, seeing them squirm and moan and jerk with the occasional spasm, and then we decided we had to leave. The Elks or the Masons or whoever the old guys were in their suits tried to keep us inside the arena gate but Maisie knew how to climb up under the bleachers and walk out over the top of the chutes for the animals.

We hopped down off the fence into the fairgrounds, and tried to mix in with the crowd, but that's when the giant holographic cowboys appeared. "Ladies and gentlemen and OTHER please welcome THE BIG ROPERS!"

At first it was fun, like a big square dance, and they seemed to win stars up in the sky for each formation they moved us into. But then we found ourselves locked in a container and loaded up on to a truck or something because there's vibration and it's dark and the air is close.

Is this part of a ride, @Lasso Larry?