HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HAVE FOUND A SOLUTION TO OUR PARTY PROBLEM AND AS YOU ALL KNOW THE PLAN WAS EXECUTED IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT YESTERDAY.

THE PARTY WAS A BRIGHT AND PULSING GLOBE IN THE CENTER OF PSYCHIC HIGH AND AS MUCH AS IT ATTRACTED LOTS OF COOL THINGS, LIKE DEAD BIRDS AND MEAT RAIN, IT WAS TIME FOR THE STUDENTS TRAPPED INSIDE TO BE FREE.

FIRSTLY, WE DEACTIVATED ALL JOURNALS WITHIN THE MINI UNIVERSE. WE DID NOT WANT ANY INTERFERENCE TO OCCUR. THEN WITH ABSOLUTE PRECISION, WE EXTRACTED DJ SUNNYTIMES FROM THE MAY 32ND MINI UNIVERSE AND SENT THEM BACK TO HELL. NO, LITERALLY, APPARENTLY THAT IS SUNNYTIMES HOMETOWN.

THEN WE USED OUR CONNECTION TO FORM A STABILIZING BARRIER AROUND THE NOW COLLAPSING UNIVERSE AND SAFELY EVACUATED ALL STUDENTS AND STAFF BACK TO THEIR DORM ROOMS OR HOME.

AS A PRECAUTION, WE REMOVED ALL DISTURBING MEMORIES OF ANYONE WHO WAS THERE AND REPLACED THEM WITH FUN, WHOLESOME MEMORIES, LIKE EATING RAISIN BRAN OR PETTING A QUIET, HYPOALLERGENIC DOG. WE MADE SURE ALL MEMORIES REMOVED WERE MADE AT THE FESTIVAL. DON'T WORRY, WE RESPECT YOU!

WHILE THIS FESTIVAL HAD A ROUGH START, WE ARE STARTING IT UP AGAIN. IT WILL CONTINUE WITH THE CAKE WALK AND OTHER REGULARLY SCHEDULED ACTIVITIES TIME WITH A HIGHER EMPHASIS ON A MAGIC AND CURSE FREE ENVIRONMENT FOR STUDENTS AND STAFF TO HAVE FUN IN.

AND BY POPULAR DEMAND, WE ARE BRING BACK THE SACRIFICIAL BONFIRE. NOW, WE DID NOT INITIALLY WANT OT INCLUDE THIS FEATURE, DUE TO THE FACT THAT FIRE IS INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS, BUT AFTER THE COMPLAINTS OF MORE THAN SEVERAL STUDENTS AND STAFF MEMBERS WE HAVE DECIDED TO REINSTATE IT.

COLLECTION BINS ARE ALREADY READY TO GO AND WILL BE ACCEPTING ANY DOCUMENTS OR ITEMS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BURN!
TO REDUCE THE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT, WE ARE BRINGING IN SMOKE DRINKER WHO WILL SLURP UP ALL THE POLLUTANTS FROM THE BONFIRE.

THE SCHEDULE AND DATE FOR THE REBOOTED FESTIVAL WILL BE RELEASED SHORTLY.

WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, PATIENCE, AND LOYALTY.
IT IS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT IN THESE TRYING TIMES.
WE UNDERSTAND IT MAY BE DIFFICULT TO TRUST US AFTER THE MISHAP WITH DJ SUNNYTIMES, BUT WE NOW UNDERSTAND THE RAMIFICATIONS. WE ARE STILL HERE TO PROTECT YOU AND YOUR SCHOOL.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU, SO WE CAN KEEP YOU ALIVE™

HELLO EVERYONE!

THE REVISED SUMMER SUNNYTIME KICK OFF IS OFF TO A GREAT START! AS ALL OF YOU KNOW, WE JUST BEAMED EVERYONE FROM THEIR HOMES TO A SELECT BUBBLE FACILITY FOR SOME SAFE FUN! EVERYONE IS EATING TASTY, NUTRITION BLOCKS AND DANCING!

WHILE SOME PEOPLE MAY ASK, "GROTTO G.S.M., WHY WOULD YOU THINK IT WAS OKAY TO BEAM PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR HOMES FOR SOME DEMENTED PARTY?" WELL, P E R S O N, OUR PARTY ISN'T DEMENTED AND WE FOUND THE MOST EFFECTIVE AND SAFEST PARTY OPTION WAS TO BEAM EVERYONE DIRECTLY TO THE PARTY!!!
EVERYONE IS HAVING A LOT OF FUN!!!
THEN THIS PESKY PERSON MIGHT SAY, "HOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! HOW CAN YOU ENSURE ALL THESE PEOPLE YOU KIDNAPPED ARE HAVING F U N ?!"
AND FIRST OF ALL, P E R S O N, WE DID NOT KIDNAP ANYONE. SECOND OF ALL, WE HAVE PUMPED DEMON GRADE HALLUCINOGEN INTO THE BUBBLE FACILITY TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE'S HAVING FUN!!
THEN YOU MIGHT SAY, "HALLUCINOGENS!! ARE YOU ******* CRAZY?? THAT IS NOT ONLY IRRESPONSIBLE BUT DANGEROUS, YOU ************* CLOWNS!!!!"
P E R S O N, NO NEED TO BE PROFANE. DEMON HALLUCINOGENS ARE 100% SAFE! THEY HAVE NO ADVERSE SIDE AFFECTS!!
HERE YOU COULD SAY"YOU ******** **** ! YOU ******* *****! SUCK ******* ********** ******"
AND WE WOULD LIKE TO SAY, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PERSONAL PROBLEM, P E R S O N.
THE KICKOFF WILL CONTINUE TILL THIS SATURDAY WHEN ALL PARTY-ERS WILL BE RELEASED BACK INTO THEIR HOMES!!!!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU, SO WE CAN KEEP YOU ALIVE™

Dear Diary,

I am inside the Sunny Summer...? Summertime Sunny...? Ugh I don't care, I am inside the bubble facility where that Grotto...? Where that... that um, Hollow... Heart,Wonder? Ghost...? UGH I don't know, that stupid company that beamed us here,
I can't find, agh I can't find my roommate, and I can't remember her name.
aaahhhh, It is really hard to resist...
There is like this dance floor and everyone is dancing in bliss eating dusty looking cubes of who knows what!
I keep seeing tons of craft supplies floating around me, but when I asked the guy next to me why they were there he muttered something about how he "wasn't gay" he just "likes looking at naked men sometimes"?
Then I said to another person next to me, "What's up with the stuff floating around us?"
and they replied, "I KNOW RIGHT! I mean I love desert but I never wanted it THIS close" then they laughed
I don't know what's really going on I feel like I'm swimming through a warm, sugary soup, everything's all slow.

Oh my gosh, I just saw....
I just saw Achava... Not the professor, the other one from the... the....
the shelly? beach? the.... the store! yeah the store!
i worked at a store once.... haha
Diary, I have a hilarious story to tell you
I worked at this store with this younger version of my professor. She was GORGEOUS and I felt horrible and great like all this time
hahaha
then i... then for some reason i didn't work there anymore?

haaaa oh my god, I think i am gonna dance
it looks so fun!!!
hahaha yeah! I am gonna go dance!!!!!
hahahahaha YEAH IM GONNA DANCE!!

HELLO EVERYONE!

THE SUNNYTIME SUMMER KICKOFF IS GOING WONDERFULLY!!
EVERYONE IS HAVING TONS OF FUN!! AND EVERYONE IS SUPER SAFE!!
THE PROMISED BONFIRES HAVE BEEN LIT AND WHILE NO ONE CAN ACTUALLY WITNESS THEM, SINCE THEY ARE INSIDE THE BUBBLE FACILITY, IT IS STILL SUPER COOL!!!
MEANWHILE, PROFESSOR ACHAVA BRANIGAN ASKED US TO RELEASE THIS MESSAGE!:
Students, Teachers and Staff, While the situation on campus may seem dire, with most students beamed to a Bubble Facility, something worse is going on off campus.
Small floating robots have descended upon large cities across the world. They are spraying hot antibacterial liquid everywhere and sealing every living thing in a tight, plastic covering making it nearly impossible to move.
I only know this, because I was taking a trip to New York City, to well... to investigate the plane my sister disappeared from. I barely escaped being encased in plastic, by running into the subways, where refugees from these robots are camping out.
Please, if you can, go to the countryside and if you can not, I urge you to seek shelter underground.
Thank You, Achava Branigan
OH! ACHAVA IS BEING REALLY QUITE FOOLISH!!
STUDENTS, TEACHERS, AND STAFF DO NOT WORRY. THE SMALL FLOATING ROBOTS ACHAVA SPEAKS OF ARE PART OF OUR ::f r i e n d:: SYSTEM!!
WHILE WE INITIALLY DESIGNED THE ROBOTS, AS AN EMERGENCY RESPONSE SYSTEM, WE DECIDED TO ADAPT IT TO SEAL EVERY LITTLE MORE MORTAL IN A SAFE, PLASTIC SEAL, THAT WILL KEEP THEM ALIVE FOR THE LONGEST TIME POSSIBLE!
SURE, MAYBE THEY CAN'T MOVE, BUT THEY WILL LIVE A LONG AND HEALTHY LIFE!!!
SURE, ALL NUTRIENTS WILL BE SOURCED THROUGH A TUBE INTO THEIR NECK, BUT THEY WILL SOOOO HEALTHY!!! LIKE UNBELIEVABLY HEALTHY, SO HEALTHY THEY CAN PHOTOSYNTHESIZE!!!
SURE, THEY WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER INDEPENDENT THOUGHT, BUT THE DEMON HALLUCINOGEN PUMPED THROUGH THEIR PLASTIC SEAL WILL ENSURE THEY WILL ALWAYS BE HAPPY!!!
SURE, THEY WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER UNIQUE MORTAL EXPERIENCE, BUT LET'S BE HONEST! THOSE ARE SOOOO OVERRATED!!! ALL OF THOSE END IN PAINFUL DEATH!
PAINFUL ,PAINFUL, PAINFUL DEATH!!

I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THE ::f r i e n d:: SYSTEM IS THE FUTURE FOR MORTALS! IT'S A SAFE, HEALTHY, YOUTHFUL AND RELIABLE FUTURE FOR MORTALS!!!!!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU, SO WE CAN KEEP YOU ALIVE™

HELLO EVERYONE

WE... WE WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE...FOR UM... COVERING EVERYONE IN A PLASTIC SEAL AND TRAPPING STUDENTS IN A BUBBLE FACILITY.
AFTER A THOROUGH TALKING TO FROM PROFESSOR ACHAVA BRANIGAN, WE HAVE COME TO OUR "SENSES".
WHILE SEALING UP EVERY MORTAL BEING IN A PLASTIC SEAL MIGHT SOUND LIKE A GREAT IDEA, IT DOESN'T WORK AS WELL IN PRACTICE, BECAUSE... WELL, MORTALS APPARENTLY DON'T LIKE TO LIVE FULL TIME IN A PLASTIC SEAL... EVEN IF IT IS THE HEALTHIEST OPTION.
WE APOLOGIZE WITH OUR ENTIRE BEING AND WE WILL BE PROVIDING A FULL PACKAGE TO ALL MORTALS AFFECTED BY OUR RECENT ACTIONS.
THE PACKAGE INCLUDES FREE HEALTH INSURANCE FOR THE DURATION OF EACH MORTALS EXISTENCE, THAT INCLUDES DENTAL, MAGICAL, DEMONIC AND MENTAL HEALTH OPTIONS, AND A SETTLEMENT FEE OF FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS TO EACH PERSON.
WE HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE US FOR OUR RASH ACTIONS. WE MEANT TO PROTECT YOU AND KEEP YOU SAFE, BUT INSTEAD, WE HAVE BEEN RECKLESS TO MORTAL SOCIETY.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™