HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HAVE AN EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT! FOR THIS UPCOMING SUMMER SEMESTER, WE WILL TESTING OUT A BRAND NEW TECHNOLOGY WE HAVE BEEN DEVELOPING ON CAMPUS!!
IT IS CALLED ::f r i e n d:: !!THE ::f r i e n d:: SYSTEM IS COMPLEX AND BEAUTIFUL, BUT WE WON'T BE LETTING GO OFF THE DETAILS JUST YET!! THAT TIES US INTO SOME FANTASTIC NEWS!!
WE WILL BE ANNOUNCING OUR FULL PLANS FOR ::f r i e n d:: AT OUR SUMMER SUNNYTIME KICK OFF PARTY!!

WE ARE CREATING THIS BRAND NEW, SUMMER SUNNYTIME KICK OFF PARTY WITH THE SPIRIT OF OUR PREVIOUS BACK-TO-SCHOOL SACRIFICIAL BALL, WHICH IF YOU REMEMBER, WAS QUITE THE CELEBRATION!!
BUT THIS TIME, IT WILL BE BIGGER, BETTER, BRIGHTER, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, SAFER FOR YOU SOFT, MEATY MORTALS!!!

DETAILS ON THE SUMMER SUNNYTIME KICK OFF WILL BE RELEASED SHORTLY!!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU, SO WE CAN KEEP YOU ALIVE™

HELLO EVERYONE!!

THE SUMMER SUNNYTIME KICK OFF WILL BE HELD THROUGH MAY 31ST, STARTING AT DUSK TO JUNE SECOND AT DAWN.
IT WILL FOLLOW IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF OUR PREVIOUS PARTY THE BACK-TO-SCHOOL SACRIFICIAL BALL, EXCEPT IT WILL BE BIGGER, BRIGHTER, BETTER, AND MUCH SAFER FOR YOU SOFT, MEATY MORTALS!!

IT WILL TAKE PLACE AT PSYCHIC HIGH AND ALL STUDENTS WILL BE PROVIDED WITH HELPFUL INFORMATION PACKETS ON SAFE PATHS TO THE PARTY-GROUNDS,CLEAR SCHEDULES ON EVENTS, AND SAFETY TIPS, AS WELL AS REFLECTIVE GEAR AND FLASHLIGHTS FOR THE WALK TO AND FROM THE PARTY-GROUNDS.

THE DRESS IS SUMMER CASUAL, BUT ALL PARTY-GOERS ARE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED TO BRING A WIDE BRIMMED HAT TO REDUCE SUN EXPOSURE, A LIGHT WEIGHT BAG WITH FOOD AND WATER TO PREVENT DEHYDRATION AND LOW BLOOD SUGAR, AND A PARTYING SPIRIT!

THEIR WILL BE LIVE MUSIC, PRE-APPROVED VENDORS, AND FUN GAMES THROUGHOUT THE PARTY-GROUNDS. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE A VENDOR FOR THE SUMMER SUNNYTIME KICK OFF PLEASE CONTACT US HERE! OR THROUGH ANOTHER SAFE METHOD, LIKE NEVER LEAVING YOUR HOUSE AND JUST WHISPERING YOUR REQUESTS THROUGH THE RECEIVER OF YOUR LANDLINE TELEPHONE. EITHER WAY WORKS.

MORE DETAILS TO COME!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU, TO KEEP YOU ALIVE™

HELLO EVERYONE!

THE SUMMER SUNNYTIME KICK OFF IS SOON TO COME AND WE HAVE THE FINALIZED SCHEDULE FOR DAY ONE! HERE IT IS:

Day 1: May 31
Dusk: Party-Grounds open
8:30: Sunnytime Craft Center Opens (THE CRAFT CENTER WILL PROVIDE LOTS OF FUN, SAFE CRAFTS, LIKE FROOT LOOP NECKLACES, HAND TURKEYS, DIY CARE FOR A THIRD DEGREE BURN, SLIME MAKING, AND USING BLACK MAGIC TO HEAL CONVULSION)
9:00(to midnight) DJ Sunnytimes on the Main Stage (DJ SUNNYTIMES IS A SUPER COOL BENEVOLENT, ETHEREAL BEING WHO CAN BRING BACK DEAD PEOPLE! WELL, THEY CAN'T BRING BACK THE BODY PART OF THE PERSON, BUT USUALLY, THEY CAN FIND A CORPSE FOR THE SOULS TO GO INTO! OH YEAH! THEY ALSO HAVE AN IPOD FILLED WITH HITS FROM THE 2000's!)
9:15 Community Kitchens Open (THIS IS A PLACE WHERE BAKERS CAN PREPARE FOR THE CAKE WALK WITH SUPERVISION FROM GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SAFETY PATROL, AS WELL AS A PLACE WHERE ANYONE CAN EAT WITH THE SECURITY THAT THEY ARE COMPLETELY SAFE! IN FACT, EVERYONE IS REQUIRED TO EAT ALL THEY WILL EAT IN THE TENTS OF THE COMMUNITY KITCHENS!)
9:30 Cake Walk Round One Begins (THIS WILL BE LIKE LAST YEAR , BUT BETTER! NOT ONLY WILL IT BE SPLIT INTO MULTIPLE ROUNDS, BUT WE HAVE BEAUTIFUL DRESSING ROOMS, A GORGEOUS, STATE OF THE ART CAT WALK, LIVE PHOTOGRAPHY, SAFETY RAILINGS, "BABY PROOFED" SURFACES, NON-THREATENING MUSIC, AND LUXURY WAITING AREAS FOR PARTICIPANTS!)
10:00 GROTTO GHOST MANAGEMENT INCORPORATED INTERN RAFFLE (THIS RAFFLE IS EASILY ENTERED AND HAS MANY WILD PRIZES! ALL YOU NEED TO DO TO ENTER IS SIGN A BINDING MAGICAL AGREEMENT TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH! AFTER ALL, HALF OF SAFETY IS PREVENTION!!! INTERNS WILL BE GIVING AWAY THEIR CREATIONS, SKILLS, WILLS TO LIVE, BODIES, AND OTHER SUPER COOL PRIZES!)
11:00 "Don't Do D.R.U.G.S :The Play" on The Empress Stage
11:00 "Healthy Relationships" lecture by Professor Branigan on The Prince Stage
11:20 "Don't Do D.R.U.G.S :The Play" on The Empress Stage
11:20 "Work-Life Balance" lecture by Professor Branigan on The Prince Stage
11:40 Live Performance from The Beatles (YES ACTUALLY THEM! DJ SUNNYTIME REINCARNATED THE DEAD MEMBERS FOR US!!!! WELL THEY ARE NOT IN THEIR ORIGINAL BODIES AND THE LIVING MEMBERS ARE KIDNAPPED AND THEY ARE ALL CRYING AND PRAYING FOR DEATH, BUT IT WILL STILL BE A REALLY GOOD PERFORMANCE!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU, SO WE CAN KEEP YOU ALIVE™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HOPE YOU ARE ALL EXCITED FOR TONIGHT'S FESTIVITIES! WE CERTAINLY ARE! AS A REMINDER, EVERYONE SHOULD TAKE THE SAFE, PRE APPROVED PATHS TO THE PARTY-GROUNDS!

THIS IS THE SCHEDULE FOR TOMORROW MORNING!

MAY 32 Midnight to 3:00 AM
Midnight: Cake Walk Round Two Begins on the Main Stage
1:00 AM: Craft Center Closes
1:00 AM: "Dangers of Bouncy Houses" presentation by Professor Ocho on The Empress Stage
1:00 AM: Open Mic for Students on The Prince Stage (STUDENTS CAN BRING INSTRUMENTS, JOKES, TRICKS, NECROMANCY, AND MORE TO PERFORM FOR THEIR FELLOW STUDENTS! A VENDOR WILL BE GIVING OUT FREE HOT DRINKS FOR ALL ATTENDEES! ACTS THAT ARE DEEMED DANGEROUS BY THE GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SAFETY PATROL WILL BE TERMINATED IMMEDIATELY)
1:30 AM: "Dangers of Bouncy Houses" presentation by Professor Ocho on The Empress Stage
1:30 AM: Open Mic for Staff and Teachers on The Prince Stage (STAFF AND TEACHERS CAN SHOW OFF THAT THEY DID HAVE OTHER GOALS BEFORE SETTLING OR THAT THEY ARE NOT JUST ROBOT DUPLICATES OF NOW DEAD TEACHERS THAT HAVE FINALLY COME TO GRIPS WITH THEIR FALSE REALITY! ONCE AGAIN,ACTS THAT ARE DEEMED DANGEROUS BY THE GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SAFETY PATROL WILL BE TERMINATED IMMEDIATELY)
2:00 AM: DJ Sunnytime on The Empress Stage
2:00 AM: The Beatles on The Prince Stage (THEY MIGHT NOT COOPERATE, BUT WE WILL KEEP YOU UPDATED)
2:00 AM: Dance Off on The Main Stage ( GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SAFETY PATROL WILL LEAD A DANCE OFF THAT ANYONE IS WELCOMED TO JOIN! DANCERS WILL BE JUDGED BY THE ARBITRARY SCREAMING OF THE CROWD. THIRD PLACE PRIZE IS A $20 GIFT CARD TO DEAD,WRATH AND BEYOND, SECOND PLACE PRIZE IS $50 GIFT CARD TO SHELLY'S HOLLOW HEART CRAFT & HOBBY, AND FIRST PLACE GETS A GOURMET PICNIC WITH @Janitor Pete ,AS WELL AS A TRIP TO, WELL, ANYWHERE ON THE SADIE HAWKINS WITH PERSONAL ESCORT FROM @The Sky Wolf)
2:30 AM: Party-Grounds Pause for Mandatory Snack Time (DURING THIS TIME, EVERYONE WILL BE INSTRUCTED TO MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE COMMUNITY KITCHENS TO REFUEL WITH A HEALTHY SNACK!!)
3:00 AM: Party-Grounds Unpause
3:00 AM: Nap Tents Opens (THE NAP TENTS ARE GUARDED BY THE GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SAFETY PATROL AND ALL ATTENDEES ARE REQUIRED TO TAKE TWO, HALF HOUR SLEEP SHIFTS IN THE NAP TENTS TO ENSURE THEY ARE WELL RESTED FOR PARTYING!!!!)
3:00 AM: Blood Stone Circle Opens (LOCATED BY THE EMPRESS STAGE, THIS CIRCLE IS BUILT TO FULFILL YOUR SPIRITUAL NEEDS! IT HAS BEAUTIFUL, NEWLY CUT BLOOD STONES AND LOTS OF EXTRACTION CHAIRS!!)
3:00 AM: Cake Walk Round Three Pre-Party (EVERYONE IS INVITED TO JOIN THE ROUND TWO FINALISTS IN A PARTY NEAR THE PRINCE STAGE TO CELEBRATE. GAMES, FOOD AND FUN! NO ALCOHOL! NO DRUGS! NO UNSAFE ACTIVITIES!)

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!
WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE/SMELL/HEAR/FEEL YOU TONIGHT!!
REMINDER TO ALL VENDORS THAT SET UP ON THE PARTY GROUNDS STARTS AT FOUR THIRTY!!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU, SO WE CAN KEEP YOU ALIVE™

Turns out my first maintenance job is emptying trash cans and picking up garbage at the THE SUMMER SUNNYTIME KICK OFF AND ::f r i e n d:: tonight. Which means I get to wear an orange vest and walk around with a poker and a trashbag. And I get a lanyard. Which is kind of lame that I can't just kick off and enjoy the summer. But if it's all happening all night, where is the sunnytime? Speaking of I better take a nap now so I can stay up all night.

"Hi Mara!"

It was @Rich White, at the Summer Sunnytime Kick Off. Ooops. I guess we had an open date to meet up again, and the Kick Off was a likely place.

"Oh, hi Rich! How's it going?"

Rich droned on and on. I mean, he's nice and all, and I kept my professional face on, but I saw Gil out of the corner of my eye.

"Aw, that's great. Hey, it's really nice to see you, but, I'm sorry, I really have to go. I'll catch you later!"

"Uh, yeah. Ok. See ya!"

Imaginary Friends really aren't supposed to cut out like that. If your visit durations end up tracking below a certain number, it can mean a performance review. And a lot of questions, which I really don't need right now.

Because Gil.

It's always been taboo for Imaginary Friends to have Imaginary Friends. "Taboo" isn't even the right word--it just never comes up. We're taught that we're the highest level humanoid meta-conscious entities (short of the mytho-theological sort), and that there just isn't an abstraction beyond us.

But why not? And Gil is proof.

Still, it's not something I'm ready to bring up with any of my colleagues. Aside from it being unheard of, I'm sure there would be issues about OpSec (operational security), and who exactly Gil represents, and what are their motives, and should we be worried. Oh I'm sure they'd be worried.

But at this point I just don't care. Gil isn't interested in talking shop, and neither am I. Instead, we danced. And danced. We even won the $50 gift card to Shelly's Hollow Heart Craft & Hobby!

It was like a dream.

HELLO EVERYONE
HAHA
UM
WE ARE SORRY THAT WE DID NOT RELEASE THE SCHEDULE
IT LOOKS LIKE WHAT WAS ONCE A SUPER SAFE AND FUN GET TOGETHER IS NOW
A UNSAFE RAGER OF A PARTY
PEOPLE ARE DRINKING
A L C H O L
AND KISSING WITH OTHER PEOPLE WITH THIER... MOUTHS
AND DANCING... LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING.
HAHA
OH GOODNESS
THIS IS NOT GOOD
UM
WE ARE SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION AND WE WILL ORGANISE THIS SITUATION
WE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE SCHEDULE WASN'T RELEASED.
DJ SUNNYTIME SAID THEY WOULD DO IT FOR US....
UMMM
WE WILL, UM, BE RIGHT BACK

SOMETHING HAS GONE TERRIBLY WRONG
THERE IS A FORCE FIELD? AROUND THE PARTY-GROUNDS,
OUR THE GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SAFETY PATROL IS NO WHERE TO FOUND!

WAIT, WAIT, OH NO,

WELL STUDENTS, WE HAVE A DISAPPOINTING ANNOUNCEMENT.
APPARENTLY, MAY 32nd, DOESN'T EXIST.....

IT APPEARS THAT DJ SUNNYTIMES HAS FORCED IT INTO EXISTENCE.... AND NOW EVERYONE WHO HAS ATTENDED THE KICK OFF IS NOW IN...
A MINI UNIVERSE WHERE MAY 32nd IS THE ONLY DAY THAT EXISTS..

HAHA
OUR BAD....

WE APOLOGIZE FOR OUT SPELLING MISTAKES, WE ARE JUST A LITTLE FLUSTERED. WE PLANNED OUT THE KICK-OFF SO WELL. SO IT WOULD BE SO SAFE....
BUT WE..
BUT WE....
BUT WE ADDED A DAY INTO EXISTENCE.

HAHHAHAHAHA
THIS IS

OH GOODNESS

UM
WE WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE ON THE SITUATION!

WE ARE REALLY SORRY STUDENTS.
WE JUST WANTED TO HAVE A FUN, SAFE FESTIVAL FOR EVERYONE TO ENJOY.
OH GOODNESS,
MORTAL EXISTENCE IS SO FRAGILE.
IN HALF A SECOND, YOU CAN DISAPEAR.
WE THOUGHT WE WERE DOING GOOD, BUT INSTEAD A PSEUDO-GOD HAS TRAPPED EVERYONE IN A MINI UNIVERSE AND BLASTING SUMMER POP HITS TO A TIRED AND PROBABLY, SUNBURNT CROWD OF TEENAGERS.
SORRY, STUDENTS, WE HAVE AN INCOMING MESSAGE FROM PROFESSOR BRANIGAN:
Students, I ask you to remain calm and stay away from DJ Sunnytimes, as well as the border of the force field.
I was walking over there to see, if I could break through the bubble, when I saw the techno-colored Mohawk-ed, pastel polo-ed, fishnet top-ed and tight leather pant-ed hoard of people, I have seen before. The same people who, I theorize, pursued Professor Martin into the woods.
I ask all students to stay away also from DJ Sunnytimes, who while is a fantastic DJ, their songs are bringing many students into a dancing trance. I have been running around trying to keep all dancing students hydrated, but unfortunately many have already passed out in the hot sun.
All for now, Professor Achava Branigan
OH NO, OH NO, OH NO.
WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT DJ SUNNYTIMES WAS NOT BENEVOLENT.
STUDENTS, TEACHERS, HOLD TIGHT!

I smashed up the psychic grounds maintenance golf cart on my very first day. @Janitor Pete said it wasn't my fault because how was I supposed to know about the force field?! I took a load of garbage from the crafts tent out to the dumpsters and I was driving back when BAM suddenly there was a force field and I drove smack into it and messed up the front axle. It sure looks like they're having fun in there--what a dance party! It just won't stop! But all the paper cups and greasy paper plates are sure stacking up.