HELLO EVERYONE!

OKAY, OKAY, WE'LL ADMIT IT. LAST MONTH WHEN WE SAID THAT "NEGOTIATIONS WERE OVER" WITH PROFESSOR ACHAVA BRANIGAN, NEGOTIATIONS WEREN'T EXACTLY OVER.

IN FACT, ON THE DAY WE POSTED THAT JOURNAL, WE WERE GOING TO OUR FIRST SESSION WITH A MEDIATOR TO BEGIN OFFICIAL NEGOTIATIONS. WITH MEDIATION INSTEAD OF LITIGATION, WE COULD SOLVE OUR CASE OUT OF COURT, SO NATURALLY, IT WAS A GREAT OPTION FOR US AND PROF. BRANIGAN.

WE ASSUMED THAT PROF. BRANIGAN AND US WOULD EASILY REACH THE CONCLUSION WE ANNOUNCED IN OUR LAST JOURNAL, DURING THE MEDIATION SESSION. FOR SOME REASON, PROF. BRANIGAN WASN'T TOO HAPPY THAT WE MADE THE ASSUMPTION THAT, IN HER OPINION, SHE WOULD, QUOTE, "roll over like a stray dog begging for food scraps,". PERSONALLY, WE DON'T SEE IT, BUT EVERYONE IS "ENTITLED" TO THEIR "OPINION".

AS OF TODAY, WE HAVE REACHED AN END TO NEGOTIATIONS. ACTUALLY, TEN MINUTES AGO WE REACHED THE END OF NEGOTIATIONS AND WE ARE NOW SITTING IN THE BACK OF OUR RED CHROME STRETCH HUMVEE (YOU KNOW, BECAUSE IT IS THE CLASSIC AVOIDED-A-BLOODY-BATTLE-OF-A-LAWSUIT-EVEN-THOUGH-THE-LAWSUIT-WAS-JUSTIFIED CELEBRATION VEHICLE) WRITING THIS POST.

WE ADMIT WE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU EARLIER, BUT TO BE FRANK, WE WERE A LITTLE EMBARRASSED.

IT WAS FAR FROM A LUXURIOUS OCCASION. WE HAD TO DO IT AT THE MEDIATOR'S HOUSE, WHICH SMELT LIKE MUSTARD ROOTS AND DECAYING PLANTS. THE MEDIATOR KEPT GETTING ANGRY WHENEVER WE ATE SOMETHING, LIKE SOME CHIPS, OR AN APPLE, OR ALL THE DOCUMENTATION FROM THE MEDIATION SESSION WE JUST FINISHED, OR SOME LEFTOVERS. LIKE, JEEZ, CALM DOWN,BUDDY, WE'LL PAY FOR IT.

THE DISGRACE OF ENGAGING IN SUCH AN ACTIVITY WAS JUST TOO MUCH TO ANNOUNCE TILL NOW. WE HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE OUR TEMPORARY DISCRETION.

YOU CAN EXPECT AN ANNOUNCEMENT LATER TO TODAY ON THE MATTER OF WHAT PROFESSOR ACHAVA BRANIGAN WILL BE TEACHING, AS WELL AS REGULAR UPDATES.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE FINALLY HAVE NEWS ON PROFESSOR BRANIGAN! BUT BEFORE WE GET INTO IT, AN UPDATE ON OUR PROXY, Company Asset AND PSYCHIC HIGH'S PROXY, Personelle. NEITHER HAVE BEEN LOCATED, BUT MULTIPLE SIGHTINGS HAVE BEEN REPORTED. THE GGSMSSSAEAPC IS WORKING HARD ON THIS CASE AND RECENTLY HAS RECEIVED A LEAD ON Company Asset.
EYEWITNESS SIGHTINGS HAVE PLACED Company Asset IN MULTIPLE LOCATIONS ACROSS ARIZONA. SECURITY CAMERA FOOTAGE FROM COOL SPRINGS STATION IN GOLDEN VALLEY. Company Asset IS SEEN CRADLING A WATERMELON IN HIS ARMS AT 3:48 AM.
HE PURCHASED A CHEAP WATCH, DECORATIVE PEN, SOUVENIR FANNY PACK, AND POCKET PLANNER WITH A PREPAID CARD. THE GGSMSSSAEAPC IS DISPATCHING TEAMS TO ARIZONA AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

NOW, FOR NEWS ON PROFESSOR BRANIGAN! PROFESSOR BRANIGAN DID ARRIVE ON THE 27TH OF FEBRUARY, BUT THE MOMENT SHE STEPPED ON CAMPUS, SHE FELL INTO A COMA LIKE SLEEP. THIS OCCURRED DUE TO A PHENOMENON KNOW AS TIME WARP HYPER-FATIGUE OR COLLOQUIALLY KNOWN AS TIMELAG.
THE DIAGNOSED REASON FOR HER TIME WARP HYPER-FATIGUE WAS HER VISIT MERCURIAL, ARIZONA. A CITY THAT SCALES A NEGATIVE FIVE THOUSAND FIFTY ON THE STERLING TIME STABILITY SCALE.
FOR THOSE WHO ARE UNEDUCATED, THE HIGHER THE NUMBER THE MORE STABLE THE TIME IS. NEW YORK CITY HAS AN AVERAGE SCORE OF ONE HUNDRED, WHILE PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL SCORES A TWENTY ON A REGULAR DAY.

SHE RECOVERED ON THE 17TH OF MARCH, BUT REFUSED TO MEET WITH US. INSTEAD, SHE SENT US A "LAWYER" WHO "NEGOTIATED" THE TERMS OF HER CONTRACT. WE'LL BE HONEST THE LAWYER REALLY DROVE A HARD BARGAIN, BUT WE KNOW OUR CUSTOMER AND WE KNOW THAT THE STUDENTS OF PSYCHIC HIGH COULDN'T WAIT TO BE TAUGHT BE PROFESSOR BRANIGAN.
NOW WITH THE NEGOTIATIONS OVER, SHE HAS FINALLY OFFICIALLY RETURNED TO PSYCHIC HIGH. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PLANS ARE NOT YET FINALIZED, BUT WE WILL BE SHORTLY RELEASING INFORMATION ON THE NEW ROLE PROFESSOR BRANIGAN WILL BE TAKING AT THE SCHOOL.
WE CAN BARELY CONTAIN OURSELVES,
BUT DON'T WORRY, WE'LL KEEP IT A SECRET.

;)

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE,

WE UNDERSTAND THERE HAS BEEN CONCERN AND WORRY OVER OUR PROXY, Company Asset AND PSYCHIC HIGH'S PROXY, Personelle.
CURRENTLY, RESOURCES ARE FOCUSED ON REPAIRING THE AFTERMATH OF THE VALENTINE'S DANCE AND DEALING WITH ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS TREVOR.
ONCE THE DUST SETTLES, WE WILL PUSH RESOURCES TOWARDS FINDING THEM, BUT FOR THE TIME BEING ALL WE CAN DO IS ASK FOR YOUR HELP.

Company Asset LEAPED OUT OF HIS SLEEPING CHAMBERS THROUGH A SMALL CIRCULAR WINDOW WITH HIS PET WATERMELON, MI. FRANKLY, WE DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE GOT OUT CONSIDERING THE WINDOW IS NO WIDER THAN A COMMON SOUP POT. IF YOU SEE A HAIRLESS, NAKED, PURPLE BEING DRAGGING AN ENTIRE WATERMELON BEHIND HIM, PLEASE CONTACT US, @Big Jim , OR A MEMBER OF THE GGSMSSSAEAPC.

IN MORE PLEASANT NEWS, PROFESSOR BRANIGAN HAS JUST MOVED BACK TO PSYCHIC HIGH. SHE WILL ANNOUNCE HER NEW CLASS VERY SOON. WE CAN'T WAIT FOR HER TO REJOIN THE GROTTO G.S.M. INC./PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL/ CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED FAMILY!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE

WE KNOW IT IS LATE, BUT Company Asset HAS URGED US TO POST THIS:

Personelle has been acting different since the Valentine's Dance.
She has started a journal: @Personelle.
She has been pacing the floor of our sleeping chamber murmuring to herself. I sat up on my bunk and called out her name, Personelle. "Personelle?" I said and she said, "Company Asset," and I said, "It is late at night. Wouldn't you like to sleep?". She stared at me for moment. Moonlight fell through our small window and onto her face.
Her eyes were bloodshot and her look intense.
"The world has cascaded like a brook babbling over soft, submissive stones for far too long. Elfland trails our very conscience, yet here we are pretending we should believe in these paper chains that hold us to our unleashed positions. If I wan't made to rule, then why was I born in this form? Tell me, Company Asset, Tell me,"
She took a step closer to my bunk deepening the shadows around her eyes. She cocked her head to the side and a hollow laugh left her lips.
"Why do you want this people to love you? You attended what they call the Valentine's Dance and you saw what happened. While you cowered, I rose up. I was chosen, Company Asset,"
I gripped onto the canvas of the bunk. She laughed again.
"You were there, Company Asset. Do you see how easily they turn away from the truth?" Her smile widened, "They explain every little thing away to absolve themselves of guilt. Why would you ever want them to love you?"
"I like friends," I cautiously began, "I want to be friends with people,"
"Then why don't you have any?" She yelled her arms waving about, "Why do you think they gawk at you, Company Asset! The only thing these people are worth is for power and you will only be as deluded as them until you accept that,"
She stepped back away from me, "Everything is only coming together. They can't stop it, You can't stop it, The 'We' can't stop it,"
She raised her arms above her head, "They will worship me until their dying day and I bet I will still find you in this exact place,".
She silenced and slowly relaxed. The light from the window still illuminating her face.
She turned her head to the side again.
"Go to sleep, Company Asset," Personelle walked to the sealed door of our sleeping chamber and typed in the code neither of us were supposed to know.
The door swung open and the fluorescent lights of the hallway poured into our sleeping chamber.
"I've got work to do,"

WE DO NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS OCCURRING WITH OUT LOVABLE CORPORATE PROXIES, BUT WE ADVISE ALL STUDENTS TO STAY INDOORS. THE GGSMSSSAEAPC SAFETY TEAM LED BY @Anita Hairtie WILL BE LOCATING AND SECURING Personelle TO MAKE SURE SHE IS SAFE AND SOUND.
BE ON THE LOOK OUT AND STAY CALM. Personelle IS LIKELY NO PROBLEM, BUT WE CARE GREATLY ABOUT THE CONCERNS OF Company Asset AND OTHER STUDENTS ALIKE. IN THE MOST LIKELY SITUATION, Personelle HAS SIMPLY LEARNED ABOUT SIMILES AND METAPHORS AND FOREBODING OMENS AND CURSES AND ALLEGORIES, WHICH WOULD EASILY EXPLAIN HER BEHAVIOR.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HAVE SEVERAL ITEMS TO ADDRESS. FIRST OF ALL, PROFESSOR ACHAVA BRANIGAN HAS OFFICIALLY ARRIVED AT PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL!
SHE WILL BE TEACHER SOON AND HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU!

Hello Students,

I'm back from my resignation. I will return as a teacher

Prof. Branigan

AMAZING!
NOW WE MUST ADDRESS SOME CONTROVERSY AROUND THE VALENTINE'S DANCE AND Company Asset BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION BY @Shelby Cohort .

FIRST, WE WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS THE CONCERNS THAT THERE WERE ONLY TWO CANDIDATES FOR VALENTINE'S DANCE ROYALTY.
WHEN THE VALENTINE'S DANCE WAS ANNOUNCED ON THE SCHOOL POST OFFICE CALENDAR THAT HANGS ON THE BACK WALL THAT IS KINDA COVERED BY THAT TALL HOUSE PLANT THAT EVERYONE GIVE TREATS, A PREVOTE WAS HELD TO DECIDE ON THE PROCEEDINGS OF VALENTINE'S DANCE ROYALTY.
THE PREVOTE RESULTED IN A DECISION THAT AN ELECTED STUDENT BODY REPRESENTATIVES SHOULD DECIDE ON WHO TO NOMINATE DANCE ROYALTY TO THEN BE VOTED ON BY THE ENTIRE STUDENT BODY.
UNANIMOUSLY, STUDENT BODY REP. VOTED FOR Personelle AND Company Asset AS NOMINEES, BUT NO OTHER PEOPLE WERE VOTED FOR. THUS, THE POLL ONLY CONTAINED TWO OPTIONS!

SECOND, WE WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS ACCUSATIONS OF THIS BEING A QUOTE "horrid experiment" TO "learn how to drive kids crazy?".
WE, GROTTO G.S.M., ARE DEVASTATED BY THESE ACCUSATIONS. WE ARE THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT WE HAVE BEEN DECEITFUL, SCHEMING, AND UNTRUSTWORTHY, BUT WE HAVE DONE EVERYTHING TO REVISE OURSELVES AND MAKE OURSELVES A POWER OF GOOD WITHIN THE COMMUNITY. TO THINK THAT OUR VERY CUSTOMERS STILL BELIEVE THAT WE WOULD EVER CONDUCT SAID HORRID EXPERIMENTS IS DEEPLY SADDENING TO US.
Company Asset CAME TO PSYCHIC HIGH ON HIS OWN ACCORD AND IF HE CHOOSE SO, WILL LEAVE THE SAME WAY.
IT IS RATHER UNFORTUNATE THAT EVEN AFTER WE HAVE MADE PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL SAFER, MORE EMPOWERED, MORE SECURE AND MORE PRIVATE THAN EVER WE WILL STILL BE SEEN AS GREEDY MONSTERS.
IN THE END, WE WILL ALWAYS BE DEVOTED TO OUR CUSTOMERS AND WILL CONTINUE OUR RENEWED LEGACY OF SAFETY, EMPOWERMENT, AND SECURITY, DESPITE THE NAYSAYERS.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

AS ANNOUNCED BY @Synthia Humanoid , WE ARE PROUD TO SAY THAT Company Asset AND Personelle ARE VALENTINE'S DANCE ROYALTY!!
WE ARE ECSTATIC THAT OUR LOCAL CORPORATE PROXIES ARE DOING SO WELL FOR THEMSELVES!

HERE IS Company Asset ON THE TERRIFIC NEWS:

I am Company Asset.
Recently, it has been announced that I, Company Asset, and Personelle are the Valentine's Dance Royalty at Psychic High School. Everyone at Psychic High School says they "ship" us. Mrs. Fyun, my favorite teacher at Psychic High School, tells me that to "ship" people together means that you want them to be in a relationship, particularly a romantic one. I do not really want a particulary romantic relationship. I really just want friends. I think everyone at Psychic High School only "ship" Personelle and I because we are both Corporate Proxies.

I hope that being Valentine's Dance Royalty will help me make friends. I have "pity friends" now. They are friends that have because they are friends with Personelle. I was walking with MI and Personelle to one of our classes and I asked about her friends also being my friends. I said, "Personelle, are your friends also my friends?" and she said, "They are not really your friends. They are pity friends," and I said, "Oh, okay,"

I didn't really know what "pity friends" meant so I asked Mrs. Fyun. I said "What are pity friends? I don't really know what that means," and she said, "Oh, they are friends who are only friends because they feel bad for you," and I said, "Oh,".

I think Mrs. Fyun is my friend. I don't really know if Personelle is my friend. MI can't really be my friend, because they are just a entire watermelon on a leash and so they can't really declare their friendship. I know everyone at Psychic High School is my "pity friend".
I think I maybe don't want friends from Psychic High School anymore. I don't know why I am here. I don't know why I was put here in this universe, in this star system, on this planet, in this country, in this city, in this school.
I just wanted to be your friend. Why didn't you want to be mine? Tell me in the comments below, I guess.

Personelle took me with her friends, Tracey, Macey, and Stacey to BIG ANNE'S BOOTY-POPPIN'-LOOKS EMPORIUM: GOWNS, SUITS, AND MORE to find outfits for the Valentine's Dance. We sat in the customs fitting's room. Tracey, Macey and Stacey hovered around Personellle. Their wings flapped in unison.
"Wow, pink makes your eyes just shine!" Squaked Tracey.
"O!M!G! You look soooo good hawt!" Screeched Macey.
"Lol you look good in every dress," Crowed Stacey.
After each compliment Personelle only said, "As long as it will gain me public favor,"
I sat in the corner with Enrique who was fitting me for a suit. I didn't really want a suit. It seemed too restrictive.
"So," Enrique said with a hand on his hip, "What style would you like?"
I took a deep breath and picked up MI. Personelle had stapled the list onto MI.
"It needs to compliment her dress and stand up against hot lights, photography and public scrutiny," I read.
"Hmm, Okay. Anything else?" I placed MI back onto the floor.
"If you could make it in a way that would attract friends, that would be ideal,"
He gave me a quizzical look, "Okay," He scribbled onto a notepad, "It should be ready Tuesday,".
"Okay! Thank you very much," I walked over to Personelle and tried to get her attention, but it was no use.
"Enrique, Could you tell Personelle that I am going back to the Psychic High School?"
"Yeah, Of course,"
"Thank you," Then I walked home in the snow with MI. It was not the most comfortable. Nothing is very comfortable. The more time I spend here the more uncomfortable I get. I am getting more and more uncomfortable the more I am here. Are you uncomfortable? Are you wishing you were comfortable? Tell me.
Tell me.

Hopefully, the Valentine's Dance will be good. Maybe I will find a friend, but somehow
I doubt it.

I do exist, as well,
Company Asset

WOW!! HOW EXCITING! REMEMBER EVERYONE THE VALENTINE'S DANCE IS COMING UP, SO GET ASKING!! WE WILL HAVE AN EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT AFTER THE VALENTINE'S DANCE SO STAY TUNED FOR THAT AMAZING DEVELOPMENT!!!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

AS @Big Jim ANNOUNCED, THE "RICH DONORS WHO GAVE SO MUCH MONEY THEY NAMED THE LIBRARY THIS STUPID NAME" LIBRARY IS FINALLY BURNED TO THE GROUND!! BUT REMEMBER STUDENTS, KEEP YOUR MOLD MASKS ON AND STEER CLEAR!
NOT BECAUSE OF ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS OR ANYTHING, BUT BECAUSE THE RICH DONORS WHO HAVE MORE MONEY THAN YOU AND ARE BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW, CAPITALISM AND STUFF LEAGUE HAVE BLOCKED IT OFF TO PREPARE FOR NEW CONSTRUCTIONS.
WE CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT THE RICH DONORS ARE PLANING ON, BUT WE CAN TELL YOU IT IS DELIGHTFUL!!

ADDITONALLY, WE WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME PSYCHIC HIGH'S VERY OWN PROXY Personelle TO THE SCHOOL. SHE WILL BE VALUABLE TO THE SCHOOL IN ENDLESS WAYS!

NOW A JOURNAL FROM THAT LOVABLE LUG, Company Asset:

I am Company Asset.
Psychic High School is a very quality High School. I have never attended a High School, until attending this Psychic High School. I have never attend a School, until attending this Psychic High School. I have never, until this Psychic High School.
My pet, Roseville, MI, is a full watermelon on a leash. We get up to all kinds of fun antics at this Psychic High School. One time, I was taking MI around campus at this Psychic High School and there it was still dragging behind me on it's leash. It was crazy.
Personelle is my new friend. She told me that MI is useless.
She said, "MI is useless," and I said, "I think MI will bring me new friends," and she said, "Friends are useless," and I said, "You are my friend?" and she said "That is generous,"
We didn't talk after that, instead I patted MI on it's hard watermelon rind. She told me it was useless to pet MI. She said, "It is useless to pet MI," and I said, "MI is my pet," and she said, " Okay,".
I know MI is just a watermelon. I know I am just dragging a watermelon on a string. I know a watermelon is just a food. I know I am just a corporate proxy. I know people just don't like me. I know I just look weird because I am hairless and purple. Why would they make me like this? Tell me in the comments below, Friends, Why did they make you like that?
Personelle does not see the appeal of My Favorite Class at this Psychic High School, Soggy Bread Eating 101. She refused to even touch the soggy bread. I want to be friends with Personelle, but we do not have common interests. I like safety and security and empowerment and privacy and soggy bread and friends and Psychic High School.
Personelle likes things like "logic" and "order". I want friends and she says, "Unlike you, Company Asset, I have reasonable goals. I do not want friends. I want power,".
I do not want power. I want friends. Personelle is my friend, because we both know what it is like to be a proxy.
It is different for Personelle. She has sparkling rainbow hair. Everyone stares at it and compliments her. Personelle says she wants to be left alone. I am completely hairless. Everyone stares.
Personelle wears fancy clothes and is knowledgeable in combat. Everyone is amazed when they see her. Personelle says that attention is only worth the power it gives you. I am completely naked, except for the leash I pull MI on, which I ties around my waist.

Some people here at Psychic High School might say, "WOW! Personelle, you are really slaying today!" and she would say, "That is not factual,"and I would say, "Yes, I do exist, How are you?"and they would say, "Sis! You have got to learn to accept a compliment!" and she would say, "Attention is only worth the power it gives you," and I would say, "Of course, Friend,".
I have a friend already. The great thing about being a corporate proxy is that you are corporate proxy. It makes it really easy to exist.
To me, we all exist, but I don't know much about that.
I do exist, as well,
Company Asset

WOW! SOUNDS LIKE Personelle AND Company Asset ARE #THRIVING! MAYBE AT CERTAIN UPCOMING DANCE, THEY SHOULD BE HONORED... ROYALLY, (WINK, WINK).
IN OTHER NEWS, WE HAVE RECEIVED NEWS THAT ACHAVA BRANIGAN COULD BE RETURNING TO PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL SOON!
ACHAVA SENT US A LETTER WHICH INCLUDED, "Time is my enemy. I should have known it was too easy. My soul has already been sold, mass marketed, and commercialized. There is no way for me to buy it back, when it's been packed up in shipping containers and sent all over the world. I feel there is no way to reconcile myself. I guess that is what you wanted. I am returning to Psychic High School,"
WHAT GOOD NEWS!! WE ARE SO EXCITED TO WELCOME ACHAVA BRANIGAN BACK!!
WE HAVE SO MANY FANTASTIC THINGS COMING UP, STUDENTS. WE CAN'T WAIT TO TELL YOU MORE, BUT FOR NOW BOTH OF US WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT!
UNTIL NEXT TIME.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HAVE ANOTHER JOURNAL FROM THE LOVELY Company Asset.

I am Company Asset.
I really think I am learning a lot here at the Psychic High School. It is very Safe, Empowered, Secure and Private. These are the morals I value in a good high school establishment like here at the Psychic High School. I decided that I will be adopting a pet. I think it will help me make friends. For some reason, it appears that here at the Psychic High School some students of Psychic High School are avoiding me.
I have no idea why anyone would not want to be my friend. I have no idea why you are not my friend. Why do you not want to be my friend? I have no idea. I have no idea why I am alive. Tell me in the comments below friends, why are you alive?
I got a full watermelon and put it on a leash. I am naming it Roseville, MI, after my favorite USA city. I will call it MI for short. MI is a full watermelon on a leash. It has cool characteristics like being a full watermelon on a leash.
In My Favorite Class here at Psychic High School, Soggy Bread Eating 101, Mrs. Fyun says she might have made a breakthrough with me. She put her hands on her hips and said, "Company Asset, I think I might have made a breakthrough with you,". I am finally understanding the purpose of swallowing the soggy bread she gives me. It was very hard to realize, because I just loved how it felt to just chomp the soggy bread in my mouth. I didn't even know that you swallow so you can eat the soggy bread. Once I learn how to swallow soggy bread, Mrs. Fyun says that I can move onto tasting soggy bread. I bet that swallowing soggy bread will be even better then chomping it.
Mrs. Fyun thinks that I am an interesting case. She said, "Company Asset, you are an interesting case,". She says that most people who take her class do it, because they want "an easy A". I am taking the class for it's obvious education value.
Some people here at Psychic High School might say, "Ew, it's that company kid," and I would say, "Yes, I do exist, How are you?"and they would say, "Ew, it talks," and I would say, "Of course, Friend,"
I have lots of friends already. The great thing about being a corporate proxy is that it makes you instantly likable. I am already ready to be liked by all of you.
To me, you are all my friends, just some of you have not realized it.
I do exist, as well,
Company Asset

THANK YOU, Company Asset, VERY COOL!
IN OTHER NEWS, WE WILL HAVE ANNOUNCEMENT COMING UP SOON SO STAY TUNED FOR MORE INFORMATION.
ALSO AN UPDATE ON THE "RICH DONORS WHO GAVE SO MUCH MONEY THEY NAMED THE LIBRARY THIS STUPID NAME" REPAIRS. THE REPAIR TEAM REQUEST THAT STUDENTS STOP REPEATEDLY BREAKING INTO THE LIBRARY TO STEAL "MONEY" FROM THE MONEY MOLD. WHAT STUDENTS DON'T UNDERSTAND IS THAT MONEY MOLD IS NOT MOLD GROWING MONEY, BUT MOLD THAT MAKES YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIFIC HALLUCINATION THAT YOU ARE AT A DECADENT PARTY WHERE THE MAIN DISH IS A PLATE OF US DOLLARS.
IN REALITY, YOU ARE JUST GORGING YOURSELF ON MOLD, SO STOP DOING THAT. SEVERAL STUDENT HAVE ALREADY HAD TO GET THEIR STOMACHS PUMPED AND ONE HAS DIED. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE IT IS TO BE A GHOST? VERY EXPENSIVE.
SO STAY ALIVE AND DON'T BREAK IN TO THE "RICH DONORS WHO GAVE SO MUCH MONEY THEY NAMED THE LIBRARY THIS STUPID NAME"

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HAVE AMAZING NEWS! TODAY OUR FIRST COMPANY PROXY HAS BEGUN TAKING CLASSES AT PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL.
HIS NAME IS "Company Asset" AND HE LOVES EDUCATION.

Company Asset WILL BE WRITING OCCASIONAL JOURNALS TO TELL YOU ABOUT HOW HIS DAY IS GOING!

HERE IS HIS FIRST ONE:

I am Company Asset.
You might have seen me around campus. I have no hair. Anywhere.
I also have pastel purple skin. I love to do Safe, Empowered, Secure and Private Activities. I can't wait to for you to be my friend. I can't wait to learn so many things. I can't wait. I can't wait to find out how I was born. Tell me in the comments below, friends, How were you born?
My favorite class is Soggy Bread Eating 101. It is really fun. I love the feeling of chomping the soggy bread. I am learning a lot in Soggy Bread Eating 101. My teacher, Mrs. Fyun, says that I am a faster learner. When I first began in the class, I didn't even know how to put food in my mouth. Now, I know how to chomp soggy bread in my mouth. I love how the moist bread squishes around in my moist mouth. Mrs. Fyun says she'll try and teach me to taste next, but to be honest, I don't know if I am equipped for such an activity. Even though tasting is daunting, I am always ready for a wild adventure full of safety, empowerment, security and privacy.
Some people might say, "Company Asset, How are you?" and I would say, "Yes, I do exist, How are you?" and they would say, "Oh, I do exist, as well. Thank you for such a delightful exchange, Company Asset," and I would say, "Of course, Friend,"
I have lots of friends already. The great thing about being a corporate proxy is that I already know all of you. I am already ready to become friends with all of you.
To me, you are all my friends, just some of you have not realized it.
I do exist, as well,
Company Asset

WOW! HOW DELIGHTFUL! Company Asset IS TRULY A GEM!
IN OTHER NEWS, @Big Jim ASKED US TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE "RICH DONORS WHO GAVE SO MUCH MONEY THEY NAMED THE LIBRARY THIS STUPID NAME" LIBRARY IS GOING TO BE CLOSED DOWN FOR REPAIRS, DUE TO THE OUTBREAK OF MONEY MOLD.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE WILL ADDRESS SECURITY CONCERNS OUR GGSMSSSAEAPC SAFETY LEADER, @Anita Hairtie,HAS BROUGHT UP.

@Emily DH HAS ALWAYS DONE A BRILLIANT JOB OF HER SECURITY DUTIES, BUT IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION THAT EMILY MIGHT HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY A DEMON AND THUS, SLACKING ON HER SECURITY DUTIES.

WHILE WE INVESTIGATE THE RUMORED DEMON KIDNAPPING, WE WILL MAKE SURE THE CAMPUS STAYS SAFE. WE INVITE @Hana Song AND HER "ANGELS" TO BECOME THE EMERGENCY SECURITY TEAM FOR THE GGSMSSSAEAPC, UNTIL WE CAN ENSURE @Emily DH 's SAFETY.

WE ALSO ASK @Level 8 Bouncy House TO TAKE UP @Emily DH 's DUTIES.

NONE OF THIS WILL BE AN ISSUE, OF COURSE, IF WE FIND EMILY IN HER DORM ROOM.

UNTIL NEXT TIME,

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™